A Javelin for Jonah

“Indeed, sir, I am under no illusion. Your letter was most explicit. I understood from it that Joynings is a privately-owned Borstal institution.”

“It would be going to extremes, James, thus to describe my creation—I may say, my life-work,” said the Warden coldly. “None of our students has ever been in contact with the police. We have the sons and daughters of some of the highest families in the land, people of excellent social standing, people who—oh, well, no matter. We house and educate, among others, young men who have been expelled from their public schools, often for quite trivial offences, and young women similarly uprooted. We also take students who are, for one reason or another, out of parental control and unfitted to govern their own lives…”

“Drug-pushers? Lay-abouts? Sleepers-around?” asked Hamish helpfully.

“Victims of circumstance. Products of broken homes. Misfits in the great mosaic we call life, James. Unfortunates who possess false or insufficient clues to the Great Crossword Puzzle. That is the way to describe the majority of our students, I think. Ours, we like to believe, is a work of rehabilitation and of healing. We are sociologically viable. We…”

“Yes, sir, I quite understand. And what part am I to play? My time-table, perhaps—?”

“Oh, you had better ask Henry,” said the Warden. “Henry will know. He sees to all that kind of thing. It is regrettable that you are to be with us for so short a time. You take up residence abroad at the end of October, I believe.”

“Yes, sir, to brush up my languages.”

“I am told that you are expecting to enter the diplomatic service. Do you really think it a wise choice?”

“I have no idea, sir. I believe my mamma made it for me, and I dislike to hear her criticized adversely.”

“You have already interrupted my discourse twice in order to interpolate remarks which I should hardly describe as diplomatic. That is all I meant, James,” said the Warden, giving Hamish, this time, a wintry smile. “To pass on; to pass on. I hope you will settle down here, even for so short a stay. We like people to grow roots. Roots, you know, make for the total stability of the plant or tree.”

“Alas, sir, I fear that the rain will pass over me and I shall be gone and the place hereof will know me no more.” Hamish spoke these flippant words aloud, but added mentally, “And a good thing, too.” He already slightly disliked the Warden and he had a feeling that the Warden already more than slightly disliked him.

“You have a great deal of self-confidence, I perceive, James,” went on Gascoigne, ignoring the picturesque scriptural allusion. “I imagine that you are highly qualified in other directions, too.”

“For life, sir, or for the diplomatic service?”

“I was thinking, strangely enough, of your duties here, James, I have a parochial outlook, I fear. Still, however unworthily I may sustain the role, I do happen to be the head man of my little domain.”

“Oh, quite, sir. After all, it is better to be first in a small Iberian town than second in Rome.”

“I fail to detect the relevance of that remark, James.”

“I understood that you were once the second master of Isingtower School, sir.”

“Oh, that! Past history, my boy. A great deal of water has flowed under the bridge since my Isingtower days.”

“Yes, of course, sir. Have I your permission to go to Henry and ask what my duties here will be?”

“Oh, lectures, you know, in French and German. You will have to find out how much the students are prepared to take, of course.”

“No doubt they will be prepared to take whatever I am prepared to give, and that will be of my plenty, sir, I assure you.”

“You are extremely self-confident, James.”

“So you have already been kind enough to say, sir.”

“I understand that you obtained your Blue for boxing,” said the Warden, changing the subject with some abruptness.

“Yes, sir. There was not a great deal of boxing talent when I was up.”

“You may find it useful, I am afraid.”

“I am prepared to employ all my talents, such as they are, in the service of the College while I am here, sir.”

“That is splendid, James. I am delighted. By the way, I believe we need a coach for the men’s aquatics. Do you swim?”

“Like a dolphin, sir, or so my mamma has said.”

“Those animals,” said the Warden, “are said to rival man in intelligence.”

“I am sure they surpass him in good nature, sir, and they are also said to have a tremendous sense of humour.”

“Yes, well, off you go to find Henry,” said the Warden hastily. “He will be on the field. Look for a small, spare, wiry man wearing an atrociously loud checked tweed cap with his light-blue blazer.”

With this description to aid him, Hamish found Henry without difficulty. He introduced himself.

“I’m Gavin. Mr. Medlar sent me out here to ask what you want me to do.”

“Well, first,” said Henry, “while you’re talking to me, keep your eye on those blokes who are throwing the discus. Ever been hit by a discus?”

“No, nor bitten by a shark, I’m glad to say.”