Another sigh. ‘Male.’
‘Age?’
‘I don’t know… We haven’t even interviewed anyone yet.’
I wasn’t for easing up any. ‘Do you have the shooter?’
‘No, no weapon.’
‘Any witness statements, forensics, clues?’
Fitz slammed the file shut, said, ‘Look, Dury, I know it’s your brother lying there, but I can’t magic up a case-solved stamp out of thin air. We want the killer as much as you.’
‘No you don’t.’
‘What?’
‘No one wants this fucker as much as me, Fitz.’ I started to fasten my Crombie.
‘Now where are you going?’
‘Home.’
‘Wait for the car, man… It’s four-below outside.’
‘I need to cool down anyway.’
‘You’ll feckin’ freeze, man — are ye mental?’
There was only one answer to that. I pulled up my collar. Fitz stood as I opened the door. I said, ‘Don’t want you to think I’d try pulling any favours on this, Fitz.’
‘Dury…’
‘No, I gave you your get-out. We’re quits.’
‘Dury, would ye ever just listen? Please, man, leave it to us.’
I put a serious eye on him. ‘My brother’s been murdered, Fitz… I’m not letting anyone else settle that score.’
Chapter 3
I set off for home. The snow had started to settle and the streets felt slippy underfoot. I toyed with the idea of a night bus, but I didn’t want to be around anyone else; I wondered how I would react to seeing Debs.
My brother had a family, a wife and daughter. Just how do you tell a teenage girl her father has been murdered? It would wreck her. They would both want for nothing: Michael had his own business, was set up as they say, but that was little consolation. I looked up the street. Flats above the shops were kitted out with Christmas trees and little fairy lights. A glowing sleigh, waving Santa inside, shone down from a window. I couldn’t look at it.
The snow grew heavier, great mounds of it gathering on the street. I started to shiver. Felt the quarter-bottle of Grouse in my pocket. It hung there like an invitation to an alternative Christmas. Go on, down it! Block out the whole lot, wake up some other time. Sometime when the hurt has passed.
I held the bottleneck tight, knew I had more reason than ever to stay sober.
Memories of my brother flashed into my mind, but I tried to drown them. There would be a time to remember him, but now wasn’t it. Now was the time to stay focused, to keep my thoughts straight. A roar was building in the pit of my gut that would see me through, but as I reached my own doorstep my heartbeat ramped.
I got inside the flat and kicked the snow off my Docs, brushing the sleeves of my jacket. My hands felt numb with cold as I fitted the key on its hook. The dog jumped up, clawed at me.
‘Get down, boy… come on, calm down.’
Debs spoke: ‘He’s been sitting at that door like Greyfriars Bobby since you left.’ She was in her dressing gown; I guessed she had been since I left.
‘You stayed up.’
She came towards me, leaned on the wall. ‘I didn’t know if I was going to have to come down and bail you out or what.’
‘No danger of that.’ I brushed past her, went to hang up my Crombie.
‘Gus… what’s up?’
‘Go back to bed… You’ll be wrecked in the morning.’
She followed me through to the living room. ‘I won’t get any sleep after that call. What’s going on?’
I moved to the kitchenette, opened the fridge, took out a can of Coke. ‘You better go and sit down.’
I kept my voice calm, laid it all out. Debs took the news as I expected; I put my arms round her as she started to sob. ‘Gus, I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I was thinking the worst, but not this.’
I knew what she meant. She’d thought I was in trouble with the police again — we were still at a fragile stage in our reconciliation. I said, ‘It’s okay.’
‘I only saw Jayne and Alice last week… Gus, they’ll be in bits.’
‘I know.’
She pushed away. ‘Your mother, Gus… Oh my God, what about her?’
I felt a kick to my heart at the thought of more pain for my mother, after all she’d been through; it didn’t seem so long since my father’s death. I tried to calm Debs down, stroked her hair, made her take a seat; she only started to sob harder. I went into the bedroom to grab some tissues. She said, ‘I just can’t believe this. I mean, why? It just doesn’t make sense. What did the police say?’
I tutted. ‘Mugging… it’s the default solution. And utter shite.’
Debs scrunched up the tissue, I went to get her another. When I returned she looked puzzled. ‘What the hell was he doing in the Meadows at night?’
I stood up, turned away from her. I didn’t want Debs to see the anger I felt rising on my face.
‘Gus…’
‘There’s a lot of unanswered questions.’ I turned round, caught her look of utter stupefaction, her mouth twisted on the verge of tears once more. I knelt down before her, said, ‘Someone must’ve had a reason to put that bullet into Michael.’
I wanted her to throw her arms around me, show me support, but she didn’t. Debs jumped out of the chair and let out a wail: ‘No. No. That’s not what I want to hear. No, Gus…’ I watched her eyes light up, their whites huge above the redness caused by her tears. ‘You promised me there’d be no more of this.’
‘Debs…’
She was hysterical, ranting, screaming at me, ‘I’m not going to watch you get yourself killed too!’
‘Debs…’
‘No… you promised!’ She lowered her head and held her face in her hands.
I touched the back of her neck. She cut my hand away.
The intensity of Debs’s reaction wasn’t unexpected. I knew where she was coming from, sympathised even. The last thing I wanted was for this to come between us, but then I didn’t want any of this.
In recent months I had found a route back to normality, something Michael always managed to locate with little or no effort. I didn’t want to lose it, though I felt my new-found happiness starting to buckle now. Debs had got up early and locked herself in the bathroom. I heard her snivelling inside, but left her be. I wanted her to understand I couldn’t just let my brother’s murder go, but now wasn’t the time to tell her.
I tweaked the dog’s ear, then put on my Crombie. The car keys hung by the door. The rank smell in the stair had got worse — I held my breath again on the way down. Outside the street looked whitewashed by snow. It was too early for footprints, or to see the roads turned to slush. Everywhere lay silent and still beneath the pure-white blanket. I felt the cold seize me, go for my chest. I fastened my coat and raised the collar.
As I trudged down towards the car the grey sky suddenly turned to a black mass. A vast group of starlings swirled into view, cutting treacherous angles as they darted in first one, then another direction. I watched the darkness form and dissemble then re-form again. Nature amazed me; I felt sure I was of its lowest order.
The windscreen of Debs’s Punto was frozen over. I cleared it with the scraper, but then the engine refused to turn over. Automatic choke chugged a bit; when it bit, the tyres spun on the road. I dropped into second to give more traction to the hill start. Got a break at the lights and took a steady pace on the quiet roads all the way to the Grange.
