one at a time, her glorious, long legs sinking deeper into the water.
“I’ll go with you,” he said.
“I’d rather be alone for a while.”
“Too bad.” He slid into the water and grabbed her hand.
“Cameron, I think you’ve said all there is to say.”
“No, I haven’t.”
Turning to glare at him, she said, “What else is there?”
“Just this.” He stared into her eyes because if he looked at her gorgeous breasts, he’d probably begin to whimper and admit something he’d be sorry for later. “I’m glad you’re in love with me, Julia.”
“What?” Her forehead crinkled in confusion. “Why?”
“Because it’ll help our marriage run more smoothly.”
Her mouth gaped. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Just that if you’re in love with me, you won’t be tempted to give up on our marriage. And that’s a good thing for all of us.”
“Listen, you arrogant bigheaded fool,” she said, and jabbed his chest with her finger. “I was never tempted to leave you, but you’re pushing it. And don’t for one minute think that I don’t know the truth.”
“What truth?”
“That you’re just as much in love with me as I am with you. You can fight it all you want, deny it all you want, but someday you’ll admit I was right. I just hope it won’t be too late.”
Then she dove under the water and swam away.
Ten
She was in love with him.
Cameron would never admit it out loud-because he valued his body parts-but he was more than thrilled to hear Julia say she loved him. Yeah, he could see she was a bit annoyed with him, but she would get over it. After all, he reasoned, she was in love with him. Now they could go on from here with an even stronger marriage and a great family life. Maybe someday, they’d give Jake a little brother or sister. Who knew?
Did that make him arrogant, as Julia had accused him of being? Cameron chuckled as he switched the power level on the hose in order to wash down the cars. It had been two days since they’d returned from Monarch Dunes. Two days since Julia had confessed she was in love with him, then turned around and told him he was arrogant for insisting that this was a good thing.
No, he wasn’t arrogant. He was smart. Smart, for recognizing that what Julia wanted most in life was a family. Smart, for deciding that Julia and Jake should live with him and be that family together. And smart, for avoiding the fall into love that had ruined his parents’ lives and left Cameron wary of ever getting too close to anyone for fear that it might destroy them.
And if he’d ever had second thoughts about opening his heart and accepting that he might be in love, it had only taken the unexpected and unwanted presence of Martina at the party to remind him why that was a bad idea. Had he honestly thought, way back then, that he was in love with her? She was an empty shell compared to Julia.
But seeing Martina had stirred up other memories as well, ones he truly didn’t want to revisit. Memories of the myriad mistakes he’d made in ever thinking he was worthy of love. Memories of Wendy, his high school girlfriend, who had upended the notion of love so badly that it had almost ruined his life.
Cameron turned off the water and reeled in the hose. Then he grabbed a chamois and began to dry off the cars.
No, he thought. Whether she knew it or not, Julia was much better off without his love. She could have his affection, his respect, his admiration. Hell, she could have his body, too. She could have just about anything she wanted, but she would never hear Cameron admit to loving her. Doing so would just lead to another disaster his heart couldn’t afford.
It wasn’t enough for her. Not anymore.
Julia folded the laundry, then opened the dryer to toss in yet another load. She usually didn’t mind these household chores. In fact, she generally enjoyed the quiet simplicity of such uncomplicated tasks. But today, nothing was making her happy.
It had been a week since that night in the grotto, and Cameron was still acting as if nothing had happened, nothing had changed. And maybe nothing had changed-for him. But for Julia, the whole world had shifted.
She had thought it would be enough to go through life married to a considerate husband and a wonderful father for her baby. She had agreed to the wedding, agreed to move into his home. Now she wanted more.
Maybe he was right, maybe it wasn’t fair of her to change the rules in midstream. But she couldn’t help it anymore. It wasn’t just that the rules had changed. It was that Julia herself had changed. She had told him she was in love with him and now she needed him to admit the same.
But he wouldn’t. He couldn’t. They’d discussed it again last night and she had demanded to know why. What had happened in the past that made him refuse to love her now?
She’d even swallowed her pride and asked him if his feelings had anything to do with that woman she’d met at the formal party. Martina. Was he still in love with her?
Cameron had laughed and brushed off her question, saying only that she was barking up the wrong tree, and left it at that. He wouldn’t tell her anything more, wouldn’t give her any reason for it.
And now she could actually feel her heart breaking. For herself and for him. And for Jake. All this time, she’d tried to convince herself that it was enough to have a family, an attentive husband, a darling baby. But she’d finally come to the realization that it wasn’t enough. She wanted it all. And she deserved it all.
The following Saturday, Adam and Trish threw a small party for a few friends to celebrate their pregnancy. Julia brought homemade breads and dessert and helped Trish with the dinner. Later in the kitchen, she stacked the dessert plates.
“Can I wash the dishes?” Julia asked.
“No, no,” Trish said easily, hanging the potholders on their hooks. “Adam and I like to clean up the place by ourselves once our guests go home. It’s fun to spend the time together, talking and laughing about the evening and planning our next get-together.”
Just then, Adam walked into the kitchen and slipped his arms around Trish’s waist. “I missed you. Are you done in here?”
“Yes.” Trish beamed at him and he kissed her, then laid his cheek against her head.
Later, on the ride home, she turned to Cameron. “It must be wonderful for you to know your brother Adam is so happy.”
Cameron glanced at her sideways as he drove down the highway. “Never really thought about it, but I suppose it’s nice.”
“Nice?” She laughed. “Cameron, the man is so head over heels in love with his wife, he can’t see straight.”
Cameron held up his hand. “Okay, I know where this is going and we’ve been there before. For the last time, I’m telling you that we have a great life together. Why can’t you just let it go at that?”
He reached for her hand and squeezed it. It was an affectionate move, meant to reassure her that he cared. But oddly enough, she had to blink back unexpected tears that threatened to fall. She refused to cry, refused to act like more of an idiot than she already was. But was it so idiotic to want all of him? She wanted his heart, not just his name. If that made her a fool, then so be it. At least she would be a fool for love. The thought made her smile all the way home.
But the next day, as she put the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher, she felt her world closing in on her. She had to sit down for a minute as she wondered if she was actually sick or if it was just her heart breaking.
“Good grief,” she murmured, standing up with determination. She shut the dishwasher door and turned it on.
