She strongly doubted he was ogling her now. In fact she hoped he wasn’t, because if he was, he’d surely notice that there was more to ogle.
As she neared her mother and Cindy, both of whose avid glances were bouncing between her and Brett, she shot them a please-don’t-ask look and said, “I’ll be along soon. Don’t wait the limo for me. I’ll just grab a cab and meet you at the Waldorf.”
And then, in case they missed the don’t-ask look, she kept on climbing, not wanting to perform introductions to a man they’d never see again. As it was, she’d have to field dozens of questions the moment she arrived at the reception.
“Who’s that man with Kayla?” she heard Cindy whisper to their mother. Unfortunately, Cindy didn’t know
“I don’t know, but it’s my guess he’s the reason she’s been so distraught,” answered Mom, in the same loud whisper she’d passed along the gene pool to Cindy.
“She’s been distraught?”
“Oh, yes, dear. Ever since she returned from Peru. You’ve just been too busy barfing to notice.”
Kayla winced and kept climbing, trapped from sprinting up the steps by her high heels and tight Wang.
After passing through the vestibule, Kayla led the way into the empty church, then slid into the last pew, relieved to be off her feet. Brett sat next to her, turning sideways in the seat to face her, then setting a shiny blue shopping bag on the floor. Where had that come from? Obviously he’d had it all along and she just hadn’t noticed. Not surprising, given her shock at seeing him.
The last thing she wanted was to look into those golden-brown eyes that had once regarded her with desire, knowing that no longer seeing it would hurt. But she owed him the courtesy of meeting his gaze.
And when she did, her heart hurt at the unreadable expression with which he regarded her. Well, she supposed she deserved this. For whatever reason, he obviously wanted to have it out face to face, so she might as well get it over with.
“What did you want to talk about, Brett?”
“A lot of things. But first, I want to know about your job. Why don’t you work at La Fleur anymore?”
“Does it matter?”
“I wouldn’t ask if it didn’t.” He frowned. “Did you lose your job because of me?”
“No.”
He looked…surprised? “I’d like to know what happened, Kayla,” he said quietly.
She hesitated, then, looking down at her hands, said, “Very well. I resigned. I gave my two-week notice the day I returned from Peru.”
Silence greeted her answer, then one quiet word. “Why?”
She looked up and again met his gaze. “Because I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror. Because I was ashamed of my boss for expecting me to spy on you and of myself for agreeing to do so. I no longer wanted to be involved in any way with anything to do with your formula, so I took myself out of the game.”
“By resigning.”
“Yes.”
“So you don’t have a job?”
“I don’t.” She lifted her chin. “But I have my integrity and self-respect back, or at least I’m working on it. Unfortunately they don’t pay the rent, but I have a few promising prospects lined up.” She paused, then said, “I want you to know…I didn’t repeat anything you said about your formula to my boss. I know you don’t have any reason to believe me but-”
“I believe you.”
Those three softly spoken words stilled her and she pressed her hands together so he wouldn’t see them trembling.
“Thank you. That’s more than I deserve.”
She waited for him to say something, anything, but when the silence swelled and he merely kept looking at her, a frown bunching his brows while his gaze roamed her features, she finally asked, “Why had you wanted to get in touch with me?”
Instead of answering, he said, “That woman, on the stairs, was she your mother?”
“Yes. And my sister, Cindy.”
“Your mother said you’d been distraught ever since you came home from Peru.”
She shrugged. “You know how moms are.”
“She seemed to think the reason you were distraught was because of a man.”
“Mom doesn’t know I resigned from my job. Neither do my sisters. I didn’t want to tell them before the wedding because they’d only worry and ask ten thousand questions I didn’t feel up to answering.”
His gaze pinned hers. “So the reason you’ve been distraught has only to do with leaving your job?”
“Actually, that has nothing to do with it. I’m not now, nor have I been, distraught over leaving my job, Brett. I have no regrets in regard to that decision.”
“Then why have you been upset?”
“You can’t figure it out?”
“I’d prefer that you tell me.”
She again looked down at her hands, digging deep for courage, then raised her head to meet his gaze. “All right. You deserve the words. I’ve been distraught because I fell in love with you. And because of my actions, I lost you. I’m hoping that someday I won’t feel quite so distraught, but that day hasn’t come yet. I can tell you it’s not today. Tomorrow’s not looking real good, either.”
She drew another bracing breath. “And even though I explained everything in my letter and tried to tell you how sorry I was, you also deserve a face-to-face apology. I’m sorry, Brett. I deeply regret my reasons for going to Peru and can only reiterate that those reasons had
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Thank you for that. I can’t deny that finding you gone, leaving only that letter…hurt me.”
“I’m sorry. That’s the last thing I wanted.”
“I think the fact that you left, that you told me in a letter instead of staying and telling me face to face, hurt more than the actual contents of the letter.”
She shook her head. “Just another selfish act on my part. I couldn’t stand the thought of all the affection I’d seen in your eyes disappearing.”
“That was more than affection, Kayla. I’d fallen in love with you, too.”
His words pierced her already aching heart, hurt echoing from his use of the past tense.
“Why didn’t you tell me about resigning from your job?” he asked.
“We haven’t exactly kept in touch.”
“You didn’t mention in your letter that you intended to do so.”
“No. Actually, I didn’t want you to know. It was my own personal…penance of sorts. Please don’t worry about it. As I said, I have no regrets. At least about that.”
The church bells chimed, marking the half hour, and she knew she needed to leave soon. “You never told me why you’d wanted to get in touch with me.”
“I wanted to see you. Talk to you. For the first three weeks I was home, I was very hurt. And very angry. At you. At what you’d done. And then for leaving me like that. I stalked around like a lion with a thorn in its paw, telling myself I was better off without you, that I didn’t care, that it didn’t matter.
“I threw myself into finding the right lawyer to represent me, to deciding the best thing to do with my formula. And I finally decided.”
When she remained silent he asked, “Don’t you want to know?”
“Only if you want to tell me.”
“I signed a contract two days ago with Parisian Cosmetics.”
She nodded slowly. “Small company based in France, very high-end products, sold only in the most exclusive shops.” She smiled. “Congratulations.”
He smiled in return. “Thank you.”
