better for Mike, and that’s all that matters, isn’t it? Goodbye.’
As he heard her go downstairs Jared turned the light off and stood by the window, watching her go through the smallest crack in the curtain. She might turn, and she must not be allowed to see him standing there lest she guess that his eyes followed her as obsessively as his thoughts.
He’d fought to seem cool tonight, but it had been hard. Something deep inside him still cried out to her, but he resisted it. A protective shield, developed over years of facing and surviving danger, had kept him safe. And he would make sure that it always did.
For his own sake, but mostly for her. He must set her free and never hurt her again.
She had reached the end of the street. Now she was turning, raising her head to look up at his window, but he’d stepped well back in the darkness, where she couldn’t see him.
It was better that way.
Mike was over the moon at the news that he was to go to the Belgian Grand Prix. The arrangement was that the three of them should fly out the day before.
‘Thank you for being so understanding,’ Kaye said to Mr Vanner.
He grinned. ‘We’re all hoping. Whatever keeps Jared happy is good for the team.’
So it was an open secret. Smiles and warm looks came from the others, and she could see that what her boss said was true. They were all hoping that things would come right between her and Jared. There was even a hint that some of them were taking bets on it.
And it would never happen.
Sam and Ethel too were over the moon.
‘I think Mike already knows,’ Ethel whispered.
‘You told him?’
‘I didn’t have to. The bond is there, and he’s begun to feel it. Look at the way Jared keeps in touch, calling him almost every day. The truth won’t come as a surprise. It’s what Mike’s hoping for.’
Kaye made the Belgian bookings, assigning separate hotel rooms to herself and Jared. When the day came everyone wished her luck as she set off.
On the plane Mike sat by the window with Jared next to him, deep in conversation. Occasionally one of them would appeal to her, but she tried not to intrude. This was their time.
If things had been different the next few days would have been a dream of family delight. For practice and qualifying Mike was watching in the stands, and when Jared won the race Mike and Kaye were so close to the podium that they were sprayed with champagne.
Later, in Jared’s room, they feasted-just the three of them. Suddenly Mike looked at Jared, then at Kaye, then back to Jared.
‘Are you my dad?’ he asked.
Kaye held her breath. How would he deal with this approach?
Jared met his son’s eyes. ‘If you want me to be,’ he answered quietly.
She relaxed. He’d done it perfectly.
With bouncing, shrieks and hugs, Mike indicated that this was just what he wanted. Kaye realised that Ethel was right. He’d suspected and longed for it to be confirmed. Now he was in seventh heaven. His family was complete. He had the father he wanted. Everything in his little world was wonderful.
‘Are you going to get married?’ he asked eagerly.
‘No, darling,’ Kaye said. ‘We’re just going to go on being friends. The only change will be that you’ll have a father, and you’ll see lots of him.’
‘But-’ He frowned, trying to take this in. ‘You two-you go together-
‘Yes, we do,’ Jared agreed. ‘We’re very fond of each other and, like your Mum says, we’re good friends. We don’t have to be married. We have you, and that’s all we need.’
‘But I want you.’
‘And I want you. You’re my son, and we’ll always have each other, whether we live in the same house or not.’
‘But-’
‘Not now. Let’s talk about it another time. Tonight we just celebrate. Look, I’ve got something for you.’ He produced a box from a drawer. ‘You had a birthday recently. I missed that, so this is a belated present, and I’ll never miss any more.’
‘It’s a cell phone,’ Mike breathed.
‘Your mother says your reading and writing are coming along really well, so we can text as well as call. Let me show you.’
Mike was an apt pupil, who needed to be shown things only once.
It was the best gift Jared could have given him, Kaye thought. But there was more to come. With a flourish Jared produced another gift-the most recent version of a game called Champion. It was played with dice and counters, and Mike eagerly undertook the task of instructing the other two.
Kaye joined in, saying and doing everything that would make the little boy happy, but part of her was standing aside, aching at the thought of how it might have been. Jared grew easier with Mike all the time, because somewhere deep inside him was a natural father eagerly making his way out, and it was a delight to see it emerge into the sunlight.
What a family they might have made if they could have been together always. But Jared would not agree, because he couldn’t forgive her for their quarrel. In her initial rage she’d rejected him, and he’d turned that rejection back against her, unforgiving.
Now, for Mike’s sake, she must smile and pretend that all was well. She would do whatever she had to, but inside she was divided between pleasure at her child’s happiness and anger at Jared because it could have been so much better.
At last Mike began to nod off. Together they put him to bed and murmured goodnight to his sleeping form.
‘He fought sleep to the last minute,’ Jared said as they slipped out and closed the door. He was grinning.
‘That’s what they all do,’ Kaye said. ‘You’ll soon find out.’
‘I’m looking forward to it.’
‘So am I.’
She took a deep breath. With so much at stake it was worth one final effort.
‘Jared, listen to me. This is urgent. I’ve been wondering if Mike has maybe seen things more clearly than we have. He’s right that we belong together. I don’t mean marriage, but I think it would be good for him if-if we lived under the same roof. It doesn’t have to be a close relationship, if you don’t want it, but let us be your home base-the place you come back to between trips abroad-so that Mike always knows he’ll see you soon.’
But he was already shaking his head.
‘It couldn’t work. I’ve done you too much harm.’
‘I told you that didn’t matter,’ she protested.
‘I think it does, and you
