One in a Million

Talk.

“Hello?' There was a moment of silence before a man asked, 'I'd like to speak with Nash Harmon.”

“Sure. Just a second.' She hurried into the hallway and found Nash carrying in more chairs. 'It's for you,' she said. 'I'll take those.'

“They'll wait,' he told her and leaned them against the wall and reached for the phone.

She'd been about to politely retreat to the kitchen, but he put his arm around her and drew her close.

“Harmon,' he said into the phone.

She couldn't hear what the man was saying, so she contented herself with relaxing against Nash's strong, broad chest. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

His chest rumbled as he spoke. 'I thought you didn't want me taking on any more assignments,' he said.

After listening for a while longer he said, 'I'll think about it and get back to you.' He chuckled. 'None of your business. Uh-huh. Yeah, she's gorgeous. Tough luck. Get your own girl.' A pause. 'Okay. I'll let you know in a few days.' He hung up the phone.

“Your boss?' Stephanie asked, trying not to preen about the Yeah, she's gorgeous remark.

Nash nodded. 'He wanted to tell me about a job opening up that I might be interested in. Different city, change of scene. He thought it would do me good.' She glanced at him. 'Why do you need that?' He tucked the phone into his shirt pocket and wrapped his other arm around her. 'I didn't have a choice about my vacation. My boss insisted I take time off. He's been worried that I'm burning out.' That surprised her. 'Why?'

“I haven't taken any time off since Tina died.' Stephanie's retreat was instinctive. Before she knew what she was doing, she'd pulled away far enough to lean against the opposite wall in the hall. She hated that Nash was no longer smiling.

“You're burying yourself in work?' she asked, knowing the question wasn't much of a stretch.

“Yeah, but not for reasons you think.' She didn't know what she thought. She only knew she didn't want him still to be in love with his late wife.

“Then what are the reasons?' she asked, careful to keep her voice neutral.

He sucked in a breath and stared at a spot well above her head. 'I told you Tina was killed in the line of duty, by a bomb blast. What I didn't tell you is that I was there. I'd been called in to negotiate a hostage situation. I convinced the guys to give up. When they came out, I knew something wasn't right, but I couldn't figure out what. Later I realized things had gone too easily. I told the team to wait, but Tina didn't listen. She was her usual impulsive self. About ten seconds after she ran into the building to free the hostages, I found out why they'd given up.' Stephanie didn't want to think about it, didn't want to imagine it, but she knew what had happened. 'The bomb went off.' He nodded, his face expressionless. 'Tina, another agent and all the hostages were killed.' He blamed himself. She knew that because she knew Nash, and because under the same circumstances she might have blamed herself. Foolish, but true. 'No one else thinks it's your fault.' He looked at her. 'You don't know that.”

“Am I wrong?'

“No.'

“So you blame yourself and you bury yourself in work. Now your boss is offering a different job, thinking that the change will snap you out of it.'

“Something like that.'

“Do you need to be snapped out of it?' His body relaxed. 'Not right now. You're good for me, Stephanie.' His words warmed her in a way that had nothing to do with heat and everything to do with her heart. He was good for her, too. He made her want to believe in love and hope and the future. He made her want…

She mentally winced. No, don't go there, she told herself. Nash was temporary, remember? There was no point in wishing for the moon. She would only end up disappointed, with a crick in her neck.

“I aim to provide a full-service establishment,'she said lightly. 'Don't forget to mention all this on your comment card. It will impress the management.' He moved toward her. 'I'm serious. Since I've met you-' Whatever he'd been about to say got lost in the sound of car doors slamming. She was dying to know what he'd been about to say, but they were about to be invaded by the entire Haynes family.

“Save that thought,' she told him even though she knew they would never discuss this topic again. She knew because she was going to make sure it never happened. Whatever Nash might want to tell her, it wasn't the one thing she wanted to hear. Namely that he'd decided to stay.

“I could never do what you do,' Howard said the next morning.

“Most of my job is paperwork,' Nash reminded him as they jogged through the quiet neighborhood.

“But when it isn't, there are lives on the line. I admire your ability to deal with that.' There was pride in Howard's voice as he spoke-a father's pride in his child. Nash realized he'd heard it dozens of times before. Maybe from the first time he'd met Howard. Hell, he thought, feeling like an idiot. He'd been so busy resenting his stepfather, he'd never noticed the man cared about him. Loved him.

“You had a hard time when you started dating Mom,' Nash said. 'I remember Kevin and I making things tough on you.' Howard grinned. 'You made me work for my place,' he said, his breathing slightly labored. 'But it was worth it. Besides, I was crazy about your mother. A couple of my friends were worried that she was only interested in finding a father for you and your brother, but I loved her too much to care. Of course they were wrong. I guess nearly twenty years of marriage has proved that.' They reached the corner and paused to check traffic before jogging across the street. The morning was clear and still a little cool, although it would warm up later.

“We were twelve when you two started going out,' Nash said. 'If she'd wanted to find someone to be a father for us, she would have started looking earlier.' Howard glanced at him, then wiped the sweat from his forehead. 'You were heading toward being teenagers. That's when boys really need a man around. Your mother worried about you.' Howard had mentioned something similar the day before. 'Why me? I was the good kid.'

“Right. As the bad kid, Kevin got all the attention. Vivian was afraid you'd get forgotten in all the fuss. We talked about it a lot before we were married.' Nash felt as if he'd missed out on most of what was going on while he'd been growing up. 'Why didn't I know about any of this?'

“You weren't supposed to. You were the child.' They reached the edge of the middle-school playground and turned around.

Howard slowed to a walk. 'Whew. I'm not getting any younger.'

“You're still in great shape.' Howard grinned. 'You're lying, but thanks. Anyway, Kevin continued to get into trouble and you continued to be the perfect child. When Kevin stole that car, we didn't know what to do. The police were the ones who suggested the military school. We figured they would probably be able to straighten him out and with Kevin gone, you'd have a chance to shine.' Nash didn't think there were any more surprises to be had, but he'd been wrong. 'I didn't think you'd sent him away because of me,' he said, oddly humbled by the information.

“Not because of you. Kevin was hell on wheels. But our concern about you swayed our decision.' Howard slapped him on the back. 'You're both like my own sons. I would have loved Vivian as much without you two as part of the package, but just between us, knowing you boys came along with the deal made it irresistible.' Nash didn't know what to say. He felt awkward and foolish. As if he'd been playing by one set of rules all these years, when there had been a completely different game in play.

“Howard,' he began slowly. 'I-' The older man smiled. 'I know, Nash. I've always known. I love you, too.' In celebration of the kids all being out of school, the Haynes/Harmon/Reynolds family took over the large back room of the local pancake restaurant.

Nash sat at the big U-shaped table and listened to all the conversations flowing around him. In a crowd like this, his instinct was to withdraw-to observe rather than participate. But since his early-morning jog with his stepfather, he'd realized he'd better stop assuming anything about himself or his life. Apparently nothing was as he'd thought it had been.

All those years wasted, he thought sadly. Howard had been there for him and he'd never noticed. What else had he missed in his life? The sound of laughter interrupted his thoughts. He looked across the table and saw Stephanie and Elizabeth laughing together. Petite, with short blond hair and a mouth designed specifically to drive him mad, Stephanie was a walking, breathing fantasy. He liked how she fit in with his family. In less than twenty- four hours she and his mother had become fast friends. She managed to keep his brothers, their spouses and kids straight.

He wanted her. That was hardly news, but the feeling this morning was different. He wanted more than sex. He wanted Nothing he was going to get, he reminded himself and looked away. He glanced around the table and saw