being here,' he said mournfully.
“I know he had a good time,' she said as she folded shirts and stacked them together. 'You're supposed to enjoy your vacation.' Adam didn't speak. Instead he stared at her with eyes full of hurt.
Her own control was already more than a little shaky. It wouldn't take much to push her over the edge. She tried to smile.
“We'll be fine,' she told the boys. 'It's summer, so there's no school. Isn't that a good thing?' They both nodded without a lot of enthusiasm. She knew how they felt. In less than a week, the B &B would be filled. She would be running around like a crazy person. But the thought of paying guests and plenty of work didn't ease the sharp pain in her chest. She felt as if her entire world had been shattered.
No more relationships, she vowed silently. She and the boys couldn't handle it. She'd gone and fallen in love with the first guy she'd slept with since Marty's death. Her sons were missing Nash, as well. If one man could mess up her life in just a couple of weeks, what would happen if she actually risked dating? It wouldn't be the same, a small voice whispered. She sighed, knowing the words were true. She'd fallen in love with Nash. It didn't matter who she dated. He'd claimed her heart and it would be a long time before she was able to offer it to someone else again.
She dropped the shirts into the open suitcase, then faced the twins.
“I can't believe it's barely the first week of summer and you two have long faces,' she said.
“Brett says he's not coming out of his room,' Jason told her.
“I know. But you know what? I have a great idea that's going to make us all feel better.' Neither twin looked convinced. She didn't feel convinced, either, but she was going to pretend to be fine-for their sake. Tonight, like last night, she would lie awake, missing Nash, longing for him, wishing it could have been different. But during the day, she would keep it all together.
“We're going to the pool,' she said and waited for the cheers.
“Okay,' Jason muttered.
Adam simply slid off the bed and walked out of the room.
Stephanie stepped into the hall and crossed to the bottom of the stairs. 'Brett, get your swimsuit,' she yelled. 'We're going to the pool. And yes, you have to go.' Vivian opened her door. 'Is everything all right?' she asked kindly. 'The boys seem very quiet today.'
“They're missing Nash,' Stephanie admitted. 'I thought hanging out at the pool with their friends would help.' Vivian's dark eyes turned knowing. 'Will it help you?'
“I'm a little old to be healed by water sports,' she said, determined to keep her tone light. 'But it's always fun to get out.' She waited for Vivian to ask more questions, but Nash's mother simply smiled. 'Do you mind if Howard and I tag along? We're enjoying our time with the boys.' Stephanie hesitated. The last thing she needed was for her sons to bond with more people who were leaving. But it would be rude to say no. Besides, on a purely selfish level, she liked hanging around with Nash's folks. Not only did they remind her a little of him, they were good people whose company she enjoyed.
“You're more than welcome,' she said. 'Just be warned that it gets pretty noisy.'
“No problem. Give us five minutes to get ready.' The Glenwood community pool complex was as crowded and loud as Stephanie had imagined it would be. There were actually three pools-a shallow one for children under the age of six, a six-lane lap pool and a massive round pool that dated back to the fifties when a rich newspaper baron had moved to town and donated the land and money for the structure. Over the years, the main pool had been refurbished, but the original shape had never been changed.
Stephanie led her group to a place in the shade. Most of the older kids and teenagers congregated on the cement border of the pool, while the families took up residence on the grassy slope leading to the video-game hut and snack bar. She spread out towels, double-checked that the boys had been covered in sun block, then gave them the okay to head for the water.
She promised Vivian and Howard that she would return shortly, then made her way to one of the half-dozen lifeguards on duty. There she gave the names and ages of her three boys, pointed them out andconfirmed they had each attended swimming classes and were strong swimmers.
She was about to return to Nash's parents when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned and saw Elizabeth Haynes.
“I didn't know you were coming to the pool today,' she said with a smile. 'There's a group of us here.' Elizabeth laughed. 'I suppose we always travel in groups, don't we? Have you heard from Nash?' As several of the Haynes brothers had still been around when Nash had left, word of his assignment had spread quickly. That morning she'd received a couple of calls asking for updates. She wasn't sure why anyone in his family thought he would stay in touch and the reminder that he hadn't didn't make her feel any better. Still, they were nice people who weren't responsible for her broken heart and she did her best to be polite.
“I saw on the news that the hostage situation ended successfully,' she said. 'But other than that I don't know anything.' Elizabeth smiled. 'I'm sure he'll be back shortly.' Stephanie nodded, even though she doubted she would ever see him again. Oh, they might run into each other sometime when he was out visiting family or here for the war games, but by the time that happened she intended to be well over him. Which meant she shouldn't plan on crossing paths with him for about twenty-five years.
“Are Kevin and Haley with you?' Stephanie asked. 'Vivian and Howard have braved the pool.' She pointed up to where they'd placed their towels. Elizabeth glanced toward them and waved.
“Let me go tell the others,' she said. 'We'll join you.' Stephanie couldn't protest-not without sounding rude. And it wasn't that she didn't like the Haynes family-it was just that they reminded her too much of Nash.
It was only for one afternoon, she told herself as she returned to Vivian and Howard and prepared for the onslaught. She could survive that. Tonight, when she was alone, she would give in to the tears that hovered right beneath the surface of her self-control. Eventually the raw edge of the pain would dull into something bearable.
In a matter of minutes Elizabeth and company had joined them. Names of children in the pool were passed around and Haley and Elizabeth took the first shift of watch. Stephanie sat next to Rebecca who made her laugh with tales of teaching her oldest son, David, the ins and outs of using the washing machine.
“He didn't believe me about sorting colors,' Rebecca told her. 'And there was this bright red T-shirt.'
“I know exactly what happened.' Rebecca grinned. 'The boy has pink underwear. He's humiliated.' Stephanie tried to concentrate on the conversation. But Kevin was with them, as was Kyle, and every time she caught sight of a tall, dark-haired man, she thought of Nash. Her heart instantly started pounding and her thighs went up in flames. Then she had to remind herself that he was gone. Whenthat happened, a fresh wave of pain swept through her and threatened to pull her under.
She found herself wishing for the impossible and imagining what life would have been like if Nash had wanted to stay. If he'd fallen in love with her, the way she'd fallen for him.
Rebecca leaned close. 'Whatever happens, I want you to know the family will always be there for you.'
“I appreciate that,' Stephanie told her.
She knew what Rebecca meant-that even if things didn't work out for her and Nash, the family would still look out for her. She could call on them in a time of need. Another kindness, she thought, trying to be grateful. There was no way for Rebecca to know the words sounded like the closing of a metal door, locking her in a prison of memories from which she would never escape.
The twins climbed out of the pool and ran up the slope. She picked up their towels and handed them over as the boys approached.
“How's the water?' she asked.
“Not too cold,' Jason told her.
Adam frowned slightly. 'Brett's talking to a girl,' he said, the confusion in his voice making it clear he didn't understand why anyone sensible would want to do that.
“Really?' At twelve? Was that the right age for that sort of thing to start? She glanced around the pool and found her son sitting on the edge on the far side. Next to him was a pretty red-haired girl with a bright smile. Brett said something, then ducked his head. The girl laughed.
Stephanie's longing for Nash increased. She wanted him to be here to share the moment. She wanted to ask him how things were going to be different as her son became a teenager. She wanted
“Are you all right?' Rebecca asked in a low voice.
