She scooted closer. A lot closer. Toe to toe, hip to hip, chest to chest. I had almost half a foot on her heightwise, so I had to lean my head down to touch my forehead to hers, but otherwise we fit together perfectly.
“After I do this, there’s a really good chance I’ll pass out again.”
“I’ll stay with you.” She lifted her chin and pressed her lips to mine. “Until I know you’re okay. Right here.”
“Hold on to me.” I tightened my grip on her waist. “Focus on what you see, and I’ll try to go slowly. Lily, this isn’t going to be easy. I think you’re going to feel it… like it’s fresh. Like it just happened.”
“I’m ready.”
I focused on the emotion and the memories. When I pushed them through my mental space into hers, they went backward for me, like a movie on rewind. Giving them back made me feel as if someone were scraping the inside of my soul away, leaving an open wound.
When I finished, she was crying as if she’d never stop.
I held her as close as I could and concentrated on not passing out. She needed me, and I wanted to be there. “Tell me what to do.”
“What you’re doing right now.” She shuddered. “It didn’t go backward that time. It was like I was watching it happen, like I was right there. I haven’t seen my parents that clearly in… well, in nine years. I look like my mom.”
“You’re both beautiful.” I tucked her head under my chin.
“And my dad…” Her voice caught. She turned her face into my chest. Sobs shook her body, but she didn’t make a sound. Tears soaked the front of my shirt.
After a few minutes, she stopped. “The emotions are so much clearer… the things I saw, I remember so many more details.”
“Like what?”
She lifted her head. “Feet. Shiny black shoes. Three men, and their faces. And my mom. She was trying to protect me.”
I nodded and waited for her to absorb the next memory in the chain, the one I didn’t understand.
“They came for me that day, Kaleb.”
I stayed silent.
“That’s why we left Cuba when we did, and so quickly. Because the men had already come to take me away.”
Chapter 44
“What are you going to tell your grandmother?” I asked, stroking her hair.
“Nothing.” Lily stared at the ceiling. “How do I explain what you showed me?”
“Tell her the truth.”
“I don’t think I can. I don’t know how she’d react, or if she’d be angry.” She rolled over to face me and I brushed her hair away from her face. “I’d like to keep you on her good side.”
“I thought she’d already made up her mind about boys like me. I’m a bad influence. A temptation,” I teased. “The apple, I believe you said?”
“You know… I never did get a bite.” She put her hands on my cheeks and gently grazed my bottom lip with her teeth.
I kissed her without thought or hesitation, tasting her without caution. Slipping my hand under the hem of her sweater, brushing the skin of her stomach with the back of my hand. Her breath caught.
“Too much?” I asked, watching her.
“Not enough.”
I missed her lips, so I went after them, sliding my hands around to her back, the curve of her waist, the flare of her hips.
I wanted to be skin to skin with her, so much more than I’d ever wanted it with anyone else.
I wanted all of her.
Lily touched me greedily, as if she were afraid one of us might disappear. Her palms found their way under my shirt, and she pulled it over my head. Her lips were everywhere-my neck, my chest, the fading bruise on my ribs from the night of the masquerade. The night I’d met her.
“You’re beautiful.” I brushed her hair over her shoulder, away from her face, watching her kiss her way back to my mouth. “Every single bit of you.”
I stopped breathing when she tugged her sweater over her head to reveal an ivory lace camisole. “You haven’t seen every single bit of me.”
I was a hell of a lot closer than I’d been five seconds ago.
Reaching out, I drew a line with my index finger from her bottom lip to the button on her jeans. “Taking your memories of that day feels so personal. Taking something that important to you away, and then giving it back, it was even more intense than I expected. It reminded me of…”
“Kaleb.”
“You know,
She tilted her head to the side. “I didn’t think… you’re not a-”
“Um… no.” I kissed her again to soften the words. I couldn’t tell exactly how much that mattered to her. “But everything is different with you. I’m closer to you than I’ve ever been to anyone.”
She leaned over and put her lips right next to my ear.
“Get closer.”
I opened my ability as wide as I could, staring into her eyes.
She wanted this as much as I did.
When I didn’t respond immediately, she turned away. “I’m sorry. The timing is…
“Don’t.” I put my hands on her hips, sliding her close, flipping our positions. I eased her back onto the pillows and traced the line of her cheekbones with my thumbs. “I only hesitated because I wanted to feel what you felt. Know you were sure about me. Us.”
“I am.” She slid her hands into my hair and arched her back, pressing into me. Tightened her legs, pulling me closer.
“I know.”
I directed every ounce of focus I had to Lily. I knew exactly how to kiss her, to touch her. Not because of her sighs, or the way her muscles tensed and relaxed in response to me, but because I was wrapped in her emotions. Everything I gave, she returned.
Pleasing her pleased me. I stopped the second she was unsure.
“Tiger,” I said, pulling away, “I’m not in a hurry.”
Her cheeks were flushed, her hair dark and tangled against the pillowcase. Exhaling shakily, she said, “I know.”
“Do you?”
She nodded.
“People underestimate the benefits of taking their time. Slow is just as good as fast.” I grinned, running my fingertips across the exposed skin between her jeans and the bottom of the camisole. “Usually, it’s better.”
I saw the sadness in her eyes as much as I felt it.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Taking our time.” She traced the outer edge of the tattoo on my bicep. Her touch was warm. “I wonder how much we have.”
I didn’t want to think about that.
