grammar school I went to. he would corrupt her. he would corrupt
me. somewhere in the world there was a Noel Airman waiting to do
some dirty thing to me—IT they called it—that would degrade me. I
would never be able to be with decent people again. I might even go
to Hell. I would be an artist. I would be able to feel. I would know
everything. I ignored the 2nd part of the book where she married
that jerk, none of that for me. keeping kosher indeed.
also that same year. A. F. fell in love with me. he gave me a wooden
snake. I was supposed to scream in horror so I did even though I
quite liked it and later named it Herman, he wouldnt let me play
with the other boys, he grabbed my arms and pulled me out of all the
games, also Joel Christian and Agnes, he was at least 19. they necked
all the time, everywhere, during recess, they expelled him but she got
pregnant anyway.
the next year I went to camp.
with my best friend S.
we were one year too young to be counselors-in-training. it was humiliating. we were above going on hikes and making beaded purses.
Barry Greenberg was a counselor-in-training. he was tall and thin
and had a crew cut that stood up. he wore a bright red shirt that said
SAM’S MEAT MARKET, he worked there after school in the
winter.
we tried to follow him everywhere.
finally we even went bowling to see him. he always hit the pins but
we didnt dare, we always missed and giggled, we wore tight sweaters,
he was pretty bored and above it all.
then we went back to school, desperate for Barry Greenberg, in
love, suffering. Rhett. Noel. Barry Greenberg.
a few months later I slept at her house or she slept at mine, we put
on our pajamas and giggled for hours, we talked about Barry
Greenberg.
then I said, 111 be Barry Greenberg and I climbed on top of her and
I was Barry Greenberg, then she said, 111 be Barry Greenberg and
she climbed on top of me and she was Barry Greenberg, then I was
Barry Greenberg, then she was Barry Greenberg, then I was Barry
Greenberg, then she was Barry Greenberg. I might have been twice
in a row when she got tired, then the light broke and we lay together
drenched in sweat and love of Barry Greenberg, then we went to
school and danced together during recess to “Chantilly Lace” and
invented a new step where I swung her over me and she swung me
over her and we both turned around,
then we met Mary and everything changed.
Mary wasnt like us. we were both brilliant. Mary wasnt. we were
both in fact, according to ourselves, prodigies. Mary wasnt. we were
both Jewish. Mary wasnt. we were both too smart to be popular.
Mary wasnt.
we loved Mary immediately.
Mary was a conservative, that meant that she wore only beige and
