when one had been victimized. The women in pornography

and prostitution had not been victimized just once or by a

stranger; more often the family tree was a poison tree - sexual

abuse grew on every branch. Only in the United States could

second-class citizens (women) be proud to disown the experiences of sisters (prostitutes), stand up for the predator, and minimize sexual abuse - this after thirty-five years spent

fighting for the victim’s right to live outside the dynamic of

exploitation. “If you’re ignorant to what’s going on around

you, ” said one former prostitute, 'or haven’t got the education

to bring yourself out of that, you stay there. And so it

152

Basics

becomes from the little go-go dancer to the strip-tease dancer

to the glamorous effect to pornography, [and] coaxing other

women into doing the same thing because I was a strong

woman. Coming from a woman it sounds better, it comes

across better, and I didn’t realize I was doing it until I got the

chance to do some healing. In the long run I was being tricked

into it just like every other woman out there. ”

What does it mean if you cal yourself a feminist, have the

education, and act like a designer-special armed guard to keep

women prostituting?

It is true, I think, that at the beginning, in the early years,

feminists did not and could not imagine women hurting other

women on purpose - being so morally or politically cor upt.

The naivete was stunning; betrayal is always an easier choice.

One follows the patriarchal nar ative by blaming the incest-

mothers, the Chinese mothers who bound their daughters’

feet, the bad mothers in the fairy tales. One did not want to

fol ow the patriarchal nar ative. But is it not the political

responsibility of feminists to figure out the role of female-to-

female betrayal in upholding male supremacy? Isn’t that

necessary? And how can one do what is necessary if one is too

cowardly to face the truth?

The truth of a bad or incapacitated mother is a hard truth

to face. As one woman said, “I was forced to be the head of

the family because my mother couldn’t do it. She was in a

mental institution. ” Another woman said, “My mother was

153

Heartbreak

scared for men to be around [because] al my sisters were al

molested by this man, and so she protected us from him, but

a lady came in my life who seduced me and molested me also.

I was twelve, and I thought I was safe. ” So there she was, the

bad mother or the betraying mother or the incapacitated

mother or the unknowing mother; and each had her own sadness or ter or.

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