wide nose, deep-set eyes, and fangs of his metatype?
'Now that the mask is down, anyone can see that I am of the same metatype as you. Believe me when I say that I understand what you are going through. Between us there need be no false fronts. Illusions are for the norms.'
A sudden stir of bitterness swirled across her mind, rippling through what she realized had been a growing sense of fellowship. He might be her metatype, but he was still something she was not. 'Even if I accepted your philosophy, Dan, I couldn't do what you do. I'm mundane.'
'And how do you know that with such certainty? You cannot be totally without talent if you pierced our illusions.'
Once again his expression held a hint that he knew something that she did not. She felt uneasy under that knowing gaze. She felt more disquieted by the growing belief that he meant her well, that he really was interested in her.
She heaved herself up out of the chair, staggering a little when it released her more easily than she had expected. Pacing around the desk, she made her unsteady way to the window-wall. Beneath her spread the panorama of the towers of Mexico City. The spires of man's arrogance, lofting above one of the largest cities on earth while the bases of those towers lay hidden in smog. Hidden too were the people who thronged the Atzlan capital. People.. . she wasn't one of them anymore. This city couldn't be her home. Cities were places for people and people had cast her out. Would she ever have a home now?
She had been beginning to think that she might find one with Shiroi… no, Dan. But now she saw that slipping away as well. He thought she was just like him, but she knew better. She was incapable of doing what he could, and she knew it all too well.
She owed him for his kindness. His manner was so accepting, his interest in her welfare so clear. The least she could do was to tell him how she knew that she had none of the magic. She turned around to find that he had risen from his chair. He stood a step away, concern and anxiety plain on his face. She smiled sheepishly.
'I've never told anyone, Dan. None of my friends. Not even my brother. I was embarrassed to tell anyone.' He reached out a long arm and rested a hand on her arm. She drew strength from the comforting touch. 'I was tested for magical ability once.'
'By whom?'
'The Hoboken Institute. They are a very reputable firm.'
'Perhaps they made a mistake.'
'That's what I told myself at first. When I was growing up, I always wanted to be a magician. I never told anyone, of course, because my dad was dead set against magic. He called it all nonsense and tricks. But I was a kid, and I knew better. I knew that I had the magic in me. So I saved every nuyen I could, took an after-school job clerking in a Soy Shack for the extra creds. I didn't have enough before… before the accident, and I wasn't able to save much for the next year, till my brother got his stipend from the Renraku grant. Once he was in the university, things got easier and I wangled a corporate temp job. It was boring and deadly dull, but I knew I could last it out because it would give me the credit to get tested and once I was certified as trainable there would be no question. I was going to be a high circle mage. I was so sure.
'Finally I saved enough creds, and I went to the Institute. I was hell to live with for two weeks until the test results came in. My brother never knew why I was such a bitch, and I lost a couple of my few friends. I even risked corporate censure, skipping my work assignment that afternoon in order to run off and find a private place to read the report. It was only one word, but it smashed my dreams. 'Negative.'
'I was crushed. If living with me had been hell while I was waiting, the next two months should have qualified anyone for sainthood. But I didn't have any friends who wanted to stick around for the final exam. I was queen bitch of the Wash-Bait Metroplex Education Center. I really didn't shake off the depression until I met Ken at Tokyo University. He made me feel special. He always said I had enough magic for him.' The memories were too much. She couldn't help it, she started to cry. Her body shook with her sobs. Dan gathered her in, enfolding her with his arms. She buried her face in his fur, feeling it go damp with her tears. He stroked her back, saying nothing until she quieted. When she regained control of herself, he released her and took a step back as if fearing to impose on her. She felt chill without his warm fur meshing with hers.
'Ken is your boyfriend?'
'Was.' The pain was old but she still felt the ache. It was duller now, but it still hurt. 'He doesn't deal well with kawaru. '
He nodded with understanding. 'Ken refused to see you after your change?'
She sniifed and shook her head. 'He wouldn't even talk to me or answer any letters.'
'He sounds like so many people I have known. The prejudice and fear attached to the metamorphosis is very strong. I think perhaps even stronger now that it is not so common. Do not think too badly of him. As a product of his environment, he was hostage to his society. Given time, he might have come to accept your change… if he truly loved you.
'You need not worry about acceptance here. We all know what you have gone through. We have seen the fear. Some of us have felt it turn to hate and violence. We have banded together for mutual aid and support. I speak for all when I say that we want you to join us.
'I will not be shy in saying that your joining will make us stronger, something we all devoutly want. But do not think that we only think of ourselves. Well, some of us do. But, Janice, I did not invite you here just to strengthen the organization. I felt something when I found you in that hovel in Hong Kong. I don't really understand it myself, but I know it's there. I want you to prosper. I want you to gain the strength to stand on your own feet and take a well-deserved place among us, and I am willing to do whatever is necessary to see that happen.'
She turned and stared out at the skyscrapers and megastructures. They reminded her of the guard towers and bunkers that ringed Yomi.
His words were tempting, freely offering what she had longed for in the long months of exile on Yomi. There was a hint of more than fellowship, a hint of something that had been torn from her life by the change. Did she dare believe that he was honest? Did she dare reach out for it? She had been spurned so often. What if she changed again? Would his concern change along with her body? The questions made her head spin.
He placed his hand on her arm. Her muscles locked for a moment, leaving her frozen like a small animal in a spotlight. He waited until she relaxed to make his tentative contact more firm. She felt the warmth of his palm and the prickly touch of his nails through her fur. When she didn't shrink away, he encircled her again in his broad, strong arms. She turned within that enclosure and stared into his face. She found only concern.
'Can I trust you?' she asked.
'As much as you can trust anyone.'
'That's not a comforting answer, Dan.'
'It is not a comfortable world, Janice. I am fallible like anyone else. Sometimes the best of intents yield terrible consequences and the finest of feelings sour. I will not start our relationship with lies and highsounding promises, but, by all the lights of heaven, I will vow to help you become all you were meant to be. If you let me, I will be your strength now. When you are strong, we can speak of the future.'
'You'll wait?'
'I am patient. I will wait for you at each door until you are ready to step through.'
'No pressure?'
'No more than the press of life demands.'
His eyes were sincere. She wanted to believe. Wanted desperately to believe. But she was afraid. 'Just hold me.'
And he did. His arms were strong, and she felt safe.
Harry Burke was a former member of the Special Air Services, an organization known for its efficient and multi-talented personnel. To Andrew Glover, he was an unparalleled asset.
Without orders, Burke moved quickly along the macadam and took up a position flanking the alley mouth. If he made any noise, it was lost in the jumble of sound from the busy street. It was barely after midnight, and the Hong Kong Free Enterprise Enclave was still very much awake. The dark alley held no interest for the throngs who surged along the carnivallit street. No simple passerby would notice the darkclad man crouched against the building. But ordinary pedestrians did not concern Glover.
Glover reached out and tapped the elf on his shoulder. 'Have you broken their codes yet?'
