“Why not?” Irna’s voice was quiet, sympathetic.
“He works for the very people who want to kill me. Not to mention, Xander isn’t very good at sharing.”
“It must be hard.”
“You know better than most how hard it is. I mean, sure I have Xan and he’s amazing. I could never imagine my life without him. But then there’s this….”
“Hole. There’s a hole that will never be filled, no matter what you try to fill it with.”
I nodded. She explained it exactly because she’s lived it too.
I cleared my throat and shifted in my seat. “So, my other mate found me. He actually led the Council to me, unknowingly. They tried to capture me, but Dev and his boyfriend distracted them while Xan got me out of there. I watched Ainsley fall, but I still don’t know what happened to them.”
“Ainsley was Devlin’s boyfriend?”
I nodded my head. “Dev put a note in my backpack leading me to Di, which brings us here.”
I turned back around to face her with a tight smile. I couldn’t believe I told her my entire story, but there was no taking it back at that point. I just felt like she’d understand, so ultimately, that was why I poured my heart out. I hoped she would sympathize with me on other ideas too.
“I’m hoping you can see why I don’t want to be studied. What I am, I think I should be the only one, if I truly am alone in this, ya know? Having two mates is beyond hard and it wouldn’t be accepted if others were in my position. Children of mixed races would, could be like me. I understand committed couples want to share their love, but I just don’t feel like this would be the best. It would cause more heartache than joy.”
“Huh?” Irna was lost in thought again and when she realized I was talking, she gave me an almost too large smile. “Oh. Yeah. I understand. No problem. It was just an idea and probably wouldn’t have worked anyway,” she blurted out. Jumping up out of her chair, she called over her shoulder, “I’ll see you later, Emelia.” She was in the house and slamming the door before I had a chance to get myself out of my chair.
How odd.
Irna’s hasty exit made me worry. But then again, she was a bit strange the two other times I had talked with her. Devlin thought she was a good person and his opinion meant everything to me, so I trusted I did the right thing by talking to her.
The fact of the matter was, I needed to talk to someone and she just happened to be my best choice at the time. Sure, Camille was becoming a great friend, but she didn’t have my uncle’s endorsement, and no matter how much I wanted to talk to Xander, I felt like it would only cause friction between us if I told him what I was thinking about Ronan.
I looked back at the house and sighed. I hoped I didn’t make a mistake talking with Irna. Man, I really hoped so.
* * *
The field of wildflowers looked like it always did whenever my father visited my dreams. I stepped through the tall grass and turned around to try and find my dad, but he was nowhere to be seen. I sat down and decided to just enjoy the solace when I heard his voice off near the trees.
“Hey there, sweetheart.”
His voice was rich and strong, and just hearing it made me feel like a little girl again. My memories of him had returned not long after Xan and I went on the run from the Council, and I was beyond grateful they did.
He was always there when I was a kid. He seemed as if he were a close family friend, but I always felt the love he had for my mom and me. I remembered it in his hugs and the way he was always just there. I really wished things could have been different for us, but I was thankful I could remember the time I spent with him.
As I stood up, I could see him coming out of the treeline. He wasn’t smiling for a change and that immediately made me pause. He didn’t look angry, but the seriousness of the situation couldn’t be denied.
“Dad, what’s wrong?” I asked when he was within a few feet of me.
“Sweetheart, I am so proud of you.” He gulped and pulled me into a tight hug. “You’re so strong, but I need to you to be even stronger. Can you do that?”
I nodded against his massive chest my reply, but didn’t trust myself to answer out loud. Something was happening. Whatever it was, it would be huge. I could see it in his eyes and feel it in the way he held me.
“You need to know you are on the right path, but just like all journeys, there are going to be some major bumps in the road. You are going to hit those bumps very soon. Stay strong, trust in your instincts and those who have proved trustworthy, and don’t ever, ever give up. I promise, there is peace at the end, you just have to be able to reach it.”
I pulled away and
