rat's nest of streets smelling of cat piss and tomato sauce. He hated being lost, and he was always lost. He hated being late, and he was late all the time. The first five minutes of every conversation was John apologizing for being late and his Roman acquaintances assuring him it was no problem.
He hated it all the same, so he walked faster and faster, trying to get to the Jesuit Residence on time for a change, and collected an escort of small children, noisy with derision and obnoxious with delight at this bony, big- nosed, half-bald man with his flapping soutane and pumping arms.
'I'm sorry to keep you waiting.' John Candotti had repeated the apology to each person along the way to Sandoz's room and finally to Sandoz himself as Brother Edward Behr ushered him in and left him alone with the man. 'The crowd outside is still huge. Do they ever go away? I'm John Candotti. The Father General asked me to help you at the hearings. Happy to meet you.' He held out his hand without thinking, withdrawing it awkwardly when he remembered.
Sandoz did not rise from his chair by the window and at first, he either wouldn't or couldn't look in Candotti's direction. John had seen archive images of him, naturally, but Sandoz was a lot smaller than he expected, much thinner; older but not as old as he should have been. What was the calculation? Seventeen years out, almost four years on Rakhat, seventeen years back, but then there were the relativity effects of traveling near light speed. Born a year before the Father General, who was in his late seventies, Sandoz was estimated by the physicists to be about forty-five, give or take a little. Hard years, by the look of him, but not very many of them.
The silence went on a long time. Trying not to stare at the man's hands, John debated whether he should just go. It's way too soon, he thought, Voelker must be crazy. Then, finally, he heard Sandoz ask, 'English?'
'American, Father. Brother Edward is English but I'm American.'
'No,' Sandoz said after a while.
Startled, John realized that he'd misunderstood. 'Yes. I speak a little Spanish, if you'd prefer that.'
'It was Italian,
'Sure. No problem. We'll stick to English,' John said, shaken. Nobody had told him Sandoz was this far gone. 'I'll make this a short visit, Father. I just wanted to introduce myself and see how you're doing. There's no rush about preparing for the hearings. I'm sure they can be postponed until you're well enough to…'
'To do what?' Sandoz asked, looking directly at Candotti for the first time. A deeply lined face, Indian ancestry plain in the high-bridged nose, the wide cheekbones, the stoicism. John Candotti could not imagine this man laughing.
To defend yourself, John was going to say, but it seemed mean. 'To explain what happened.'
The silence inside the Residence was noticeable, especially by the window, where the endless carnival noise of the city could be heard. A woman was scolding a child in Greek. Tourists and reporters milled around, shouting over the constant roar of the usual Vatican crowds and the taxi traffic. Repairs went on incessantly to keep the Eternal City from falling to pieces, the construction workers yelling, machinery grinding.
'I have nothing to say.' Sandoz turned away again. 'I shall withdraw from the Society.'
'Father Sandoz—Father, you can't expect the Society to let you walk away without understanding what happened out there. You may not want to face a hearing but whatever happens in here is nothing compared to what they'll put you through outside, the moment you walk out the door,' John told him. 'If we understood, we could help you. Make it easier for you, maybe?' There was no reply, only a slight hardening of the face profiled at the window. 'Okay, look. I'll come back in a few days. When you're feeling better, right? Is there anything I can bring you? Someone I could contact for you?'
'No.' There was no force behind the voice. 'Thank you.'
John suppressed a sigh and turned toward the door. His eyes swept past a sketch, lying on top of the small plain bureau. On something like paper, drawn in something like ink. A group of VaRakhati. Faces of great dignity and considerable charm. Extraordinary eyes, frilled with lashes to guard against the brilliant sunlight. Funny how you could tell that these were unusually handsome individuals, even when unfamiliar with their standards of beauty. John Candotti lifted the drawing to look at it more closely. Sandoz stood and took two swift steps toward him.
Sandoz was probably half his size and sicker than hell but John Candotti, veteran of Chicago streets, was startled into retreating. Feeling the wall against his back, he covered his embarrassment with a smile and put the drawing back on the bureau. 'They're a handsome race, aren't they,' he offered, trying to defuse whatever emotion was working on the man in front of him. 'The…folks in the picture—friends of yours, I guess?'
Sandoz backed away and looked at John for a few moments, as though calculating the other man's response. The daylight behind his hair lit it up, and the contrast hid his expression. If the room had been brighter or if John Candotti had known him better, he might have recognized a freakish solemnity that preceded any statement Sandoz expected to induce hilarity, or outrage. Sandoz hesitated and then found the precise word he wanted.
'Colleagues,' he said at last.
Johannes Voelker closed his notescreen at the end of his regular morning meeting with the Father General but did not rise to leave. Instead, he sat and watched Vincenzo Giuliani's face as the old man appeared to concentrate on the work at hand, logging his own notes about the day's events and the decisions they'd just discussed.
Thirty-fourth to hold the office of Father General, Giuliani was an impressive executive. A big man, attractively bald, straight and formidably strong in old age. Historian by profession, politician by nature, Vincenzo Giuliani had brought the Society of Jesus through difficult times, repairing some of the damage Sandoz had caused. Steering men into hydrology and Islamic studies—that had restored some goodwill. Without Jesuits in Iran and Egypt, there'd have been no warning at all before the last attack. Credit where credit is due, Voelker thought, waiting patiently for Giuliani to notice him.
The Father General sighed and looked up at his secretary, an unappealing man in his middle thirties, inclined to fatness, sandy hair lying flat against his skull. Voelker was a silent picture of unfinished business, sitting back in his chair, arms folded across his thickening waist. 'All right, out with it. Say what you have to say,' Giuliani ordered irritably.
'Sandoz.'
'What about him?'
'My point exactly.'
Giuliani went back to his notes.
'People were starting to forget,' Voelker said. 'It might have been better for everyone if Sandoz had been killed along with the rest of them.'
'Why, Father Voelker,' Giuliani said aridly. 'What an unworthy thought.'
Voelker made a mouth and looked away.
Giuliani stared out the windows of his office for a few moments, elbows resting on the polished wood of his desk. Voelker was right, of course. Undoubtedly, life would have been simpler had Emilio been safely martyred. Now, in the glare of publicity and hindsight, the Society had to inquire into the reasons for the failure of the mission…Giuliani scrubbed his face with his hands and stood. 'Emilio and I go back a long time together, Voelker. He's a good man.'
'He is a whore,' Voelker said with quiet precision. 'He killed a child. He should be in chains.' Voelker watched Giuliani circle the room, picking things up and putting them down without really looking at anything. 'At least he has the decency to want to leave. Let him go—before he does more harm to the Society.'
Giuliani stopped pacing and looked at Voelker. 'We aren't going to disavow him. Even if that's what he wants, it's wrong. More to the point, it won't work. He's one of Ours, in the eyes of the world if not in his own eyes.' He walked to the windows and stared out at the crowd of reporters and seekers and the merely curious. 'And if the media continue to indulge in idle speculation and baseless supposition, we'll simply call it what it is,' said the Father General in the light ironic voice that generations of graduate students had learned to dread. He turned to gaze with cool appraisal at his secretary, sitting sullenly all this time. Giuliani's voice didn't change but Voelker was stung by what came. 'I am not Emilio's judge, Father Voelker, and neither is the press.'
And neither was Johannes Voelker, S.J.
They concluded their meeting with one or two businesslike remarks, but the younger man left knowing he'd
