of thinking. He put love above fortune, and though he was manly and protective, he also encouraged me to read books and newspapers so that we might discuss literature, which I have always enjoyed, and also current events, which I must admit that between him and Kate, I had begun to find more interesting.
Today, he entered that same parlor, removing his hat with what I can only describe as flourish. He kissed me on the lips, an intimacy we had allowed since our engagement. “You will not regret the day you agreed to marry me, Miss Murray.”
“I never believed I would, Mr. Harker,” I replied, remaining on my tiptoes, hoping that he would kiss me again. I let my arm linger around his neck, enjoying the broadness of his shoulders.
“Truly, Mina, something extraordinary has happened. A count, a member of the Austrian nobility, has retained the firm to conduct a substantial real estate transaction in London. My uncle is consumed with settling two entailed country estates and has turned this affair entirely over to me.”
Jonathan’s eyes, today honey-brown, had a new sparkle. His skin was flushed with the early summer warmth and with his own enthusiasm. “After a lengthy correspondence, the Count was very specific that my uncle send me as his personal emissary. I leave in a few days for the duchy of Styria.”
I wanted to share Jonathan’s enthusiasm, but all I comprehended was that this business would take him out of the country and away from me.
“Don’t you see, Mina? A substantial bonus will be coming to me. We will have a very tidy sum of money to begin our married life, enough to lease one of those little town houses you have set your heart on in Pimlico.”
I slapped my hand to my mouth in surprise, a most unladylike gesture, but I could not help myself. “Do you mean it, Jonathan?” I asked. “You would not toy with me about so important a subject?” I had spent hours imagining Mr. and Mrs. Harker living in one of those brand-new houses with a cozy parlor, two bedrooms, a dining room, a kitchen, and a water closet.
Jonathan saw my happiness. He picked me up by the waist and twirled me around. “Mr. Harker! You forget yourself!” I teased.
“Oh, no, Mina, when I
I poured our tea and sat down, and Jonathan sat in the chair next to me, pulling it close. “Of course I would not tease you, Mina. Seeing you happy makes me happy. I have sent for a brochure on the property. After my business with this count is concluded, I shall be more than ready to negotiate the lease. Our first home will have two bedrooms. Do you think that Quentin will mind sharing a room with little Maggie for the first few years of their lives?”
Jonathan and I had spent endless hours picturing the children we would have together, their names and characteristics, and the details of their early years.
“But little Maggie may arrive first. We will have to ask her if she would mind a baby brother invading her nursery.”
“Maggie is a very generous child,” Jonathan said, breaking into a broad smile at the thought of his future daughter. “She will be delighted to share her quarters with her brother, provided he respects the dollies that Father has given her. Do you know, Mina, that I have already bought her one.”
“You bought Maggie a doll?” I asked.
Jonathan was blushing. “I went to the shops yesterday and found an entire department devoted to children’s toys! Imagine! I bought a dolly for Maggie and a little wooden train for Quentin.”
I squealed, wrapping my arms around myself at the thought of Jonathan’s love for our future children. “I hope you don’t think me foolish,” he said.
“I think you are the most wonderful man I have ever met!” I said, and I leaned forward and kissed him delicately on his lips. He reached into his pocket and brought out a small jewelry box, handing it to me. I had been given so few gifts in my life that I was not sure how long I should wait to open it. “Well, go on,” he said, smiling. “The box is not the gift, Mina.”
I opened it slowly. Inside, resting on alpine green velvet, sat a gold filigree heart on a chain, with a small gold key attached as an amulet. Both the heart and the key were dotted with little amethysts. I took it out of the box and let it hang in the air. To me, the little stones were as dazzling as diamonds.
“It’s the key to my heart, Mina, which you already possess.” He took the necklace from me and fastened it around my neck.
“It is beautiful, Jonathan. I shall treasure it,” I said. I pressed the necklace into my breastbone.
“I have wanted to give you something for a long time, but I did not know if it would be appropriate. Today, I could not help myself. I was carried away with buying gifts for my family.” Jonathan reached into another pocket and retrieved a small leather-bound notebook. “I also purchased one of these for you and one for myself. I leave tomorrow on my journey, but let us record our every thought and experience so that when I return, reading the diaries will compensate for the time we spent apart.”
“What a lovely idea,” I said, running my hand over the smooth brown leather.
“There must be no secrets between a man and his wife. We must share our innermost thoughts. That is the way to keep a marriage vital and fresh.” Jonathan had been reading marriage manuals since we announced our engagement.
Every woman intuitively knows to censor her thoughts when expressing them to a man, husband or otherwise. Undoubtedly men go through a similar process when speaking to women. But the sincerity of Jonathan’s words touched me, so I thought I would try to confide at least a small part of my recent experience.
“Does sharing innermost thoughts also apply to one’s dreams?” I asked.
He blushed. “Dreams are out of our control, Mina.”
“I have had disturbing dreams of late,” I said. “Frightening dreams, in which people are doing bad things to me, hurting me.”
Again, he took my hand. “Dear Mina, who could possibly want to harm you, even in a dream?”
“I dreamt that I was being attacked by a man.”
He waited, and then he dropped my hand. He took a sip of his tea. “I was afraid of this very sort of thing. Did you not tell me that Kate Reed took you into those terrible tenement houses in the worst part of the city, and then dragged you to the offices of the very men who built them, where she confronted them?”
“Yes, but-”
“Do you not think it dangerous for a woman to be running around the filthiest part of London, and then confronting the men who developed it?”
“Yes, of course I do, but it is Kate who confronts. I am as quiet as a mouse.”
“But that neighborhood is rife with criminals. You might have been hurt. Don’t you see, Mina? Venturing into these seedy worlds with Kate is giving you nightmares. The mind doctors now say that dreams are reflections of one’s own fears. If you are exposed to frightening places and frightening men, then it follows logically that you will dream of being attacked.” Jonathan considered himself a thoroughly modern man, following all the new trends in science, medicine, and industry and especially the explanations of Mr. Darwin about human evolution.
“But the dreams are upsetting,” I said. “The actual experiences were not.”
“Your unconscious mind gave you the dream to warn you against doing these things again.” He took both my hands and kissed them. “When we are married, all bad dreams will disappear. I shall banish them from our kingdom, my princess!”
Jonathan’s concern for my well-being always had the effect of salve on the wounds of my childhood. Had anyone ever cared for me so? Yet I did not want my activities with Kate prematurely curtailed.
“Let us strike a bargain,” I said. “If I promise not to venture into dangerous situations, will you allow me to assist Kate until we are married? After that, I will be too busy making our home. Besides, I only learned stenography and typing to help you, and that is what I shall do, at least until our first child is born.”
The tension melted from his jaw and relaxed into a big, boyish grin. “That sounds like my girl,” he said.
“I love your smile, Mr. Harker, and I will do anything to keep it on your face,” I said, touching his cheek.
“But no secrets between us, Mina? No matter what misadventures you are led into at the hands of Miss Kate Reed?”
“No, my darling, I promise,” I said, wondering how I would keep my side of the bargain if I had another strange episode. “No secrets.”
