in with input at all the correct times.
I was happily surprised when we pulled into the parking lot of Charlie’s.
When we walked into Charlie’s, I could see that on the backs of our regular bar stools there was paper taped on, saying they were reserved. I smiled and squeezed Walker’s hand/“This is perfect,” I cooed kissing his soft lips. He grinned and led me over to the bar, pulling out my seat while I waved at a familiar, flamboyant smile at the other end of the bar.
Todd greeted us with our usual beers and didn’t even have to ask what we wanted to eat, making sure to shoot me a knowing glance and a quick wink right when we sat down. We sat, talking and laughing with Todd, who after all of these years, was more of a friend than a bartender. He kept the beer flowing and after about twenty minutes of chatting, our burgers came out just the way we liked them. Mine was smothered with extra sharp cheddar melted over crispy bacon, covered with jalapenos, lettuce, tomato, and red onion. Walker’s was dripping with barbecue sauce, sauteed onions, lettuce, tomato, raw onions, and pickle chips. My mouth watered through every delectable bite. I giggled as barbecue sauce slid down Walker’s chin and I wiped it away for him.
He grinned at my gesture and leaned into me, pecking my cheek quickly; “Thank you, beautiful.” My cheek was warm where his lips had landed, sending the warmth all the way down to my toes.
Once our meals were done, we set off again. I sat up a little straighter in my seat of his black Ford when I noticed that Walker was pulling his truck onto our college campus. It had been a long time since I’d been in this section of the school, and I had no idea why he would want to take me there so late at night. I was a little numb from all of the beer sloshing in my stomach, so I went with the flow and did not ask the questions that were buzzing around my head. Walker pulled into a guest spot next to the Communications Building.
As the truck pulling into its parking spot, he turned to me. “This is where some of my favorite memories from college were made.” He paused to make sure we had eye contact before finishing, “and it’s thanks to you. So, you remember this place?”
I giggled a little at how strange of a question that was. “Of course, I went to school here too, silly.”
He smiled and lightly laughed at me. “No, my dear, I meant this specific spot; it’s the first tree you ever climbed.” Walker pointed and then grabbed my hand as I smiled, remembering how, at first, Walker didn’t believe I had never climbed a tree before in my life, insisting on teaching me. While I was stumbling through my memories, Walker got out of the truck and started to head for the tree with a cooler and blanket in hand. I climbed out of the truck and went to meet Walker where he was sitting on the blanket, pulling out two pilsner beers, then opening them for us.
We toasted to our evening together, and to friends, both of us taking long draws from the bottles. I leaned into him as he pulled me close. Sitting in that spot brought back so many wonderful memories of happy times for the both of us. Reminiscing on some of them brought the memory of Randy and, to my surprise, I smiled when I realized that since I had read Walker’s text, I hadn’t thought about missing him or the terror of the bloody scene. The notion was a little freeing and we continued to laugh, carrying on about how just a few short years ago we were carefree. It was nice to feel that way again.
For hours, we sat in the cool night air reveling in this moment. I kissed Walker’s warm lips, igniting a spark of passion. Deeply kissing, Walker laid me down on my back, lightly brushing his tongue against mine. The passion started to grow between us, when Walker pulled away from me. His deep green eyes smoldered with longing. “Let’s go home. It’s getting a little late.” Walker opened the truck door for me and helped me inside.
Before closing my door, Walker leaned in and kissed the nape of my neck and then breathed, “Don’t ever forget, you’re my true north, Mags.”
I smiled and leaned into a wonderfully passionate kiss that sent chills all over my body. “Don’t worry; I don’t think I’ll even be able to with that tattoo on your leg.”
I winked at his cocky smile and he closed the door on my side. Once he was in the driver’s seat, I leaned my head against the window, happily staring out into the night’s sky.
I smiled as I looked over at Walker’s face as the street lights danced across it. The night had been perfect. Walker was perfect. I smiled to myself realizing, for the first time in so long, I was finally content and happy. I slid over into the middle of the bench seat, cuddled down into Walker’s shoulder and sighed with satisfaction. In that moment I knew all I wanted was to be in his arms. Right or wrong, that was all that mattered. Walker’s hand grabbed for mine and we headed home to ride out our passions in the privacy of my bed.
23
The next few days rolled by effortlessly. The pain and longing for Randy had started to transform into different duller pains. It started to get less often that the stabbing of longing hit my heart. The shame was still assaulting my thoughts but I needed to learn to live with “survivor’s guilt” as my doctor had titled it, and being reminded that she was no longer there to confide in was getting easier, but not by much. Cuddling up into Walker every night was helping more and more as our trust and relationship blossomed. His strong body held me until I fell asleep all through the night.
The sunlight streaming through my window felt warm on my face as I started to slowly come out of a dreamless sleep. I rolled over, snuggling up into the warm muscles to my left. His scent was intoxicating as I was lulled back into a peaceful shallow slumber. A few minutes later, I could feel rustling from under me. Groggily I attempted to move away to give a little bit more space to my bed mate. Before I could realize what words were forming on my lips, they had already escaped. “Randy, I’m sorry.” I was shocked awake, clasping both of my hands around my mouth, looking into Walker’s pained eyes. He bolted up out of my bed, still naked from our passionate night together.
His fist crashed into the headboard as a deep growl emanated from his throat. “Am I just a freaking replacement for him?”
All I could do is shake my head, too scared that my words might betray me again. Forcefully he grabbed my shoulders and shook me vigorously, his eyes almost black with his rage. “Then what the fuck, Mags? What the hell am I to you?”
Tears started to sting at my eyes. I tried unsuccessfully to bat them away; they started to surge down my cheeks and I could see the wrath boiling throughout Walker’s body. He was standing next to my bed, fists clenched to the point of his knuckles becoming white, just glaring at me. I swallowed the lump of guilt for my words down slowly as I said the only thing I could. “You’re my best friend, Walker.” I broke my eye contact with him; the pain in his eyes was too much for me to bear. “I was half asleep. Please, I didn’t know what I was saying.”
Walker grabbed his boxers from where I had thrown them the night before, hurriedly put them on and started pacing angrily next to my bed. His fists still clenched and every inch of his skin that tattoos did not cover was beet red.
The only times I had ever witnessed Walker this angry was when he was about to get in a fight, and there was no way I was going to win that battle. His pacing started to slow and he muttered to himself to calm down and remember it was an accident. Finally, he calmed down enough to unclench his fists, stop mid-step and look at me, tears running down his face.
Still shaking and crying softly, I tried to sit up a little straighter. Walker slowly took a seat close to me and wrapped his hands around mine. His voice was low and stern, not matching his words. “Mags, I’m sorry. That was an overreaction. I know you care about me.”
I wiped his tears away, smiling as much as I could force my lips to. “Walker, you mean so much to me. I don’t know what I would do without you. You’re right. That was a mistake and I will try to never let something like that happen again.”
His back stiffened and he nodded quickly, choking back some tears. “I’m gonna hop in the shower real quick
