and then I have to run to the store with the guys to get the last of the bait and tackle for the weekend. Do you need anything while I’m out?”
For a few seconds I stared at him. I would never be able to understand how he just snapped from one emotion to the next like that. One minute his world could be ending and the next it was all sunshine and unicorns.
“No.” I shook my head, wiping my face clean of the damp, saltiness with my sheet. “I’m good.”
I stood and kissed Walker, letting the passion flow between us. With the kiss still tingling on my lips, Walker whispered, “You mean so much to me too, Mags. Don’t ever forget that.” The warmth and sincerity of his words flowed deep down into my stomach, filling me with love and gratitude for this amazing man who put up with my loony-toon self day in and day out.
Walker left me to do my makeup, throw my messy bed hair into a bun, and slip on my heels. I still had a little bit of time to kill before I had to rush off to work, so I decided to head down to make some coffee instead of torturing myself with the awful brew that was left for hours, burning in the employee break room at the hospital.
When I passed by the hall bathroom next to Walker’s room, I was surprised to not hear the water running in the shower. I didn’t think too much of it until I heard Walker muttering quite loudly to himself, huffing in his room. The door was cracked just enough that I could see him rocking on his bed, hands clenched over his eyes while he muttered, “What the fuck man! Keep it together!” He paused, let a low growl radiate from deep in his throat and then continued. “Why the fuck did
With that, his hands were removed from his blood-shot eyes and I froze as they locked on mine. I was a deer caught in the headlights and there was a car barreling right at me. Before I could take in a breath, Walker’s body slammed into mine, his hands on my shoulders, gripping tightly as we crashed into the wall behind me.
I let out a loud, painful shriek as terror consumed me. All of the rage I had seen just moments before in my room and just now in Walker’s eyes was fixated on me. I stuttered, begging for words to come out, anything to try to soothe the anger away. He was a switched that I never wanted to set off again.
Through clenched teeth, his raspy voice crackled, “What the fuck are ya doin’? Spyin’ on me?” His eyes searched mine for answers when my throat refused to let out even a peep. I just stood pressed against the wall, feeling bruises forming from under his fingers.
Finally, my voice broke out. “Walker, you’re hurting me.”
With that, instantly the kind and caring face I had grown so accustomed to recently came flooding back. His grasp turned into a loving, soothing embrace in a blink of an eye and he was apologizing. “Oh my God, I don’t know what just got into me.” He started to tremble and he rocked our bodies slowly together. “I get really angry sometimes from the war, and Randy, and wishing I could take your pain away. I guess it all just came bubbling up this morning.”
Tears started to run down my face again, messing up all my makeup. I could feel the black smearing under my eyes as Walker’s thumbs battled the droplets. His shoulders hunched as he crouched to get a better look at my eyes. “Mags, I will never let that happen again. I never want to hurt or scare you.”
I nodded and hugged him, breathing in his wonderful scent and gripping his soft shirt as tightly as I could. “We both made mistakes today, Walker, let’s just chalk it up to getting used to living together.” I looked up into his loving eyes and hoped that I would never have to see the Mr. Hyde side of him ever again. “Okay?” The words shook out of the back of my throat as a single tear rolled down Walker’s cheek.
He smiled, clinging onto me tightly and whispered, “I promise. Now get your cute little butt to work, you’re going to be late again.”
In a panic, I remembered it was Friday and that I had to make it into the office. My day was jam-packed with meetings and paperwork, and I had already been late enough. Even though my boss was tolerant and I always made sure to get my work done, I never wanted to take advantage.
I jumped into the driver’s seat of the old truck and let her engine hum as I sped out of the driveway. The morning’s events played in my mind the entire way to work. Even though I was about thirty minutes late, no one seemed to notice. I slid into my office and started to gather the paperwork and notes for my first disciplinary meeting with one of the nurses when my phone buzzed loudly on my desk. A text message from Cali shined brightly on the screen:
I smiled, thankful I was going to have a weekend alone with Cali for a change. She had been so busy with work ever since her last business trip that we barely had spoken. She, of course, checked in on me all the time to make sure I hadn’t gone completely bat-shit crazy after the incident in my doctor’s office, but that was pretty much it. We were used to having tons of girls' outings full of shopping, primping, tanning, that I’d really started to miss my best friend.
I typed a quick message back:
All I got back was a smiley face and I figured she and I would hammer out some solid plans after the boys packed up for their fishing adventure. With the morning that Walker and I had, this trip was coming at a perfect time. Until then, I hadn’t realized how much pressure Walker was under, and how much guilt he, too, had buried deep down in the darkest parts of his soul.
I was thankful for my meetings and heavy workload throughout the day. It helped me stay focused on other things rather than my problems at home and made the day zoom by. Right before I left the office I sent Walker a message, letting him know I was on my way home. This was not my common practice, but the last thing I wanted to do was startle him again. He let me know that he was packing up for the trip and by the time I got home all the guys would be at my house loading up the truck.
On the drive home I called Cali to see what her evening plans were. “Hey, Cal. How was work?”
She sighed into the phone. “It was slow and hot! Can you freaking believe that the A/C went out this morning and it took all day for the stupid tech to even show up. So fucking ridiculous!”
I chuckled a little at her discomfort. “At least you’re in the comfort of your car’s air now.”
“Oh you have no idea!” I could hear the relief in her voice as she continued, “So, as for this weekend, Kyle is leaving tomorrow morning. We’re having dinner tonight at his folks’ house. Let’s shoot for hanging out tomorrow starting early! So be ready.”
I was thrilled to be able to spend the whole day with Cali, but I was a little sad that she was unavailable for the evening. The thought of being alone terrified me. But I swallowed my pity party before Cali could hear it in my voice. “Perfect. Call me in the morning.”
“Alright sounds great, gotta run and get ready for this boring ass dinner! Love you!”
“Love you, too!”
Walker was right; when I pulled into the driveway, I was greeted by huge, excited grins and elated faces. Jim picked me up in one of his awesome bear hugs and spun me around. I laughed until he finally set me back down on the ground. “Well, you all look excited!”
Buck wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “This is going to be a much-needed great time. Some male bonding with friends and family is definitely what the doctor ordered.”
Mitch kissed me on the cheek and whispered in my ear to behave this weekend without them. I playfully shoved him away, smiling widely as Walker came over with a playful look on his face.
Taking me into his arms, he looked over my head at Mitch. In the sternest voice he could muster while laughing, he accused, “Are you hittin’ on my woman, man? Not fucking cool.”
Mitch jokingly pointed his finger at himself and shook his head. “Hell no,” He then threw his hands in the air innocently. “It was all her, man.” He walked away laughing, grabbing the tackle boxes and loading them in the bed of Walker’s truck.
Walker spun me around so I was facing him, looking down at me with a soft apologetic look on his face. His kissed my forehead gently. “I missed you today and I’m so sorry.” He breathed in deeply as he tightened his grasp
