A Beautiful Mess

Chapter 1

Jason

God, I need this vacation. Christy had been blowing up my phone all of the time which is funny because she rarely ever blew me. Fuck, she wasn’t even that good in bed. I hate it when I have to do all of the work and the girl just lays there like a fucking blow up doll.

Sometimes I wondered if a blow up doll would be better. That way I don’t have to hear all of the fake ass whining and horrible moaning when it’s not even needed. I’ve often wondered about just using my hand but when I can get my cock in some girl’s wet pussy then I’d much rather do that.

Hey, I’m a guy so don’t judge me.

Maddox had organized this entire thing because he wanted to surprise Iz for her birthday. Plus we could do a huge party for Sarah and Gabe’s upcoming nuptials. Since Maddox and Iz were already in Las Vegas for the tattoo convention it was Sarah, Gabe, Patrick, Jade, Ash, myself, and for some reason Ash’s douche bag ex, Derrick, tagging along for the party.

It’s not that I didn’t like Derrick, he seemed like a pretty cool dude, but since he and Ash broke up it just wasn’t sitting right with me. Ash is like a sister to me and I’ll protect her like I’d protect Jade. They’re my top girls and I’d do anything for them.

When planning this trip I knew Sarah and Gabe were going to room together. I knew Jade would need her own room … for obvious reasons. I sure as fuck didn’t want to room with Derrick because I would have probably beat the living shit out of him for breaking up with Ash and I knew Ash would have probably been uncomfortable rooming with Derrick so I decided Ash and I should room together.

I gave her the lamest excuse ever saying, “It would just be cheaper for us to room together. You know what I mean?” I felt like a total fuck-up but she just shrugged her shoulders like it didn’t matter to her. It kind of hurt. No scratch that; it hurt like a motherfucker. It felt like I was getting stabbed in the heart and the person was twisting the knife inside me. But this is the way it should be because Ash doesn’t need a mess like me in her life.

We have known each other since our freshman year of school but nothing would ever happen between us.

Ash is fucking gorgeous but I’m a mess. Mess is kind of an understatement but it’s the closest thing I can think of. Anyway, Ash doesn’t need that in her life. She deserves someone who is … well, not me. I couldn’t bear to see Ash hurt because of me because I know with so much certainty that I would fuck it up. Besides, Ash is way out of my league.

The girl is fucking incredible. She has these nice perky tits that are just begging to be sucked on. She has these plump, fuck-me lips and I want a taste. But I don’t think a taste would do it for me because once I got a taste of just how sweet she was I would probably never be the same.

Not only does she have an incredibly amazing body but she’s fucking hilarious. She always has a witty comment and she’s always laughing about something. I swear, her laugh does me in. Every single time I hear it I feel alive. Her laugh is amazing but I especially love it when I can get her to laugh. She holds her stomach and she laughs so hard that her tits bounce up and down.

Every single time she laughs like that I picture her riding my cock. I get hard just thinking about being in her tight, wet pussy, legs on either end of me and her hair falling over her shoulders but cold water instantly douses my hard on because while Ash has a fuck-me body I know she’s sweet and safe.

Throughout the years I often wondered why she never dated anyone but then all of a sudden this year she met Derrick and BAM, they were in a relationship. I figured since she was in one I might as well start dating Christy.

Christy and I had fucked every once in a while. I had met her at a party and she was all over me. Of course I was drunk and taking her home that night I attempted to fuck Ash out of my system. After that I guess you could say we were fuck buddies. Whenever I needed a release she was there; lying on her back, wet and ready. I didn’t care about getting her off. I just needed to fuck Ashlynn out of my head. But every time I looked at Christy my dick would start to get soft. Any girl for that matter really. So I would close my eyes and when I closed my eyes every single time I saw Ash. Before I knew it I would be pumping into Christy and coming. I always had to bite my lip because there were a few times when I almost roared Ashlynn’s name.

I may be an asshole but I know calling another girl’s name out in bed is, well, you just don’t do it. I mean unless your cock and balls aren’t important to you. So I just picture the girl in my head while slamming into another girl and trying to block out the fake moans and whimpers because the only whimpers and moans I want to hear … are Ash’s.

The second I found out Ash broke up with Derrick I quit seeing Christy. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I thought maybe since Ashlynn was happy I would be happy but her happiness was not because of me. It was with a guy she barely knew and I hated every second of it. They were always so touchy feely around me and every single time I wanted to beat the fuck out of him. It was bad enough I had to see him hold her hand or kiss her on the lips but I became enraged thinking about what they were doing behind closed doors, or when I wasn’t there.

I also hated the little prick because when nobody else was looking he would give me these little winks or smiles. Almost as if he was baiting me and telling me that he was with Ashlynn and I wasn’t and probably never would be.

I still held out a small amount of hope that maybe Ash could fix the huge ass problems in my life, but I knew it wouldn’t be easy. And plain and simple I honestly didn’t think I’m worth saving so I let her live her life.

I sounded like a fucking stalker but she meant everything to me. I held out for the moments where I could make her laugh from a comment. I held out for the moments that I could hold her in my arms while she cried. I held out for the moments where I got to see her beautiful face and that smile she gave me. Sometimes I’d watch her when she smiled at other people and I swear to Christ the way she looked at me was different compared to everyone else. But I thought that just my mind was playing crazy tricks on me because Ash would never look in my direction. To her I was just her best friend’s annoying twin brother and nothing else.

There have been numerous times where I had wanted to tell Ash how I felt about her or show her. I’d wanted to throw her up against the wall and just devour her mouth. Say, “fuck the world,” and go for it, but she didn’t need someone flipping it upside down, sideways, front to back, and every which way in between.

Although now that I mention that it would be nice if we were naked up against the wall or in the backseat of a car fucking each other’s brains out. But this is Ash and I wouldn’t want to fuck her. I would want to take my time with her and have her moan and writhe in enjoyment and come undone beneath me. Over and over again.

I don’t know what it was but ever since we got on the plane to come and surprise Iz for her birthday something was just sticking out about Ashlynn and I couldn’t take it much longer. The second I put my bag in the overhead compartment she made little grunting noises of distaste and disgust. She didn’t talk to me the entire flight to Vegas because she just put her head phones in her ears and listened to music while reading a book. Since I had no form of entertainment I just slept and dreamt about Ash.

Once we all checked into our rooms and dropped off our bags we went to go surprise Iz for her birthday. She was so excited when she opened the door and after the initial shock she let us all in. We hung out for a little bit and then Maddox sent Isabelle, Sarah, Jade, Patrick, and Ash to the spa for the day to get facials and a bunch of girly shit done to them.

Not one of them needed it, especially Ash. She was a lot like Iz in that she rarely wore make-up and when she did it was mascara. Ash is a beautiful girl but I always wondered what it would be like seeing her waking up in the morning in my arms.

After the girls left Maddox, Gabe, Derrick, and I went down to the casinos to do some gambling. None of us were really that good but we had fun drinking a few beers and bullshitting about nothing important. Maddox wouldn’t shut up about how happy he was with Iz. Gabe couldn’t shut up about how he couldn’t wait to marry Sarah. Meanwhile I wanted to punch both of them in their fucking faces because they just kept rambling.