Angel Fever

fingers under Seb’s jaw. “His pulse is weak. I hope this looks worse than it is.”

We loaded Seb gently into the back of my truck, trying to keep him as steady as possible. Alex took the keys from me without asking, and I crawled in beside Seb. Nina got into the front, asking, “Do you know how to get to Schenectady?”

Alex’s gaze met mine in the rear-view mirror; he had a scratch over one eye. “Yeah, I’ve been there,” he said. “You’ll have to give me directions to the hospital, though.”

As we headed out of Pawntucket and onto I-90, Seb’s hazel eyes flickered open. “Meggie?” he whispered.

My heart broke for him. I rubbed his hand between both of mine. “No, it’s Willow,” I said softly. “But you’re going to be with Meggie, Seb. I promise.”

He gave a groan as the truck lurched around a curve, and seemed to pass out again. My throat clutched as I held his hand tightly. The two of us had taken so many wrong turns together these past two years. But he was the brother I’d never had – and I hadn’t had him in my life for nearly long enough.

Nina twisted around in her seat, her eyes wide. “Willow, what happened up there, anyway?”

I swallowed hard and stroked back Seb’s curls. And, still staring down at him, I explained.

I’d used the energy field to alter everyone on the planet. It was now impossible for angels to feed from humanity. And though I couldn’t change it if someone had been physically hurt by the angels…I’d taken away people’s delusions about them. I’d tried to do it as gently as possible, but the whole world knew the truth now, and that the invaders were gone for ever. I’d managed to heal the ether in the angels’ world a little; it might last long enough now for them to figure out a different way to save themselves.

But they couldn’t get back here again – ever. I’d sealed off our dimension for good.

As I finished talking, Alex was staring at me in the rear-view mirror. When he faced forward again, his expression was dazed.

“So it’s really over,” he murmured finally.

Silence fell; I could see him and Nina trying to come to grips with all this. It still felt dreamlike to me: nowhere near as real as Seb’s hand, cold in mine.

Or Alex’s dark, tousled hair as he sat in the driver’s seat. I swallowed. “What happened with you?” I asked. “Jonah said he saw you up on a roof holding off hundreds.”

Alex shrugged, still looking stunned. “Yeah, trying to. When they finally got past, I thought I was dead, but they couldn’t get hold of my aura.” His eyes met mine again. “Was that you?”

I nodded. I was so overwhelmed by what he’d done that my voice came out too formally: “Thank you. If you hadn’t held them back, I never could have done it.”

I saw his flash of hurt. “Christ, Willow, you don’t have to thank me.”

None of us spoke again. When we got to Schenectady Eden, the main gates were open – there was already a flow of traffic heading out. Crowds of people stood just outside in small clusters, talking intently; some were crying. No one paid any attention as we drove through.

When Schenectady Hospital came into view, we pulled up to the ER and a pair of attendants came racing out with a clattering gurney. “Here,” I cried, sliding open the door to the back.

A few minutes later, we were all sitting in a crowded waiting room. Seb had been taken away down a long corridor. A nurse came over and held out a clipboard. “I know everything’s kind of upside down at the minute, but could you fill this out for us?”

I stared blankly at the form, not even able to take it in just then. Alex was sitting across from me; he leaned over and took it. “He’s not an Eden resident,” he said, scanning the sheet.

The nurse tried to smile; underneath it she looked as flattened with shock as everyone else. “That’s all right…I guess none of us are any more, are we? Just do the best you can.”

39

WE SAT IN SILENCE. I kept glancing down the hallway, worried about Seb – wishing I was able to send my angel to see what was going on.

The room was full of dazed, weary-looking people. I saw a woman in the corner clutching a Church of Angels pendant and crying silently, tears streaming down her face. Pressing my fingers against my head, I hoped I’d done the right thing – that humanity would find its way forward.

Nina was flicking through a magazine called Eden Now. Alex frowned up at the TV that hung from the wall. Bizarrely, an old episode of Cheers was playing.

“Nothing on the news yet,” he said finally, almost to himself.

I shook my head. “No. I guess it’ll take time for people to organize themselves.”

Our gaze met; my cheeks heated and I glanced away. Alex had been keeping his distance from me for hours now. I knew he thought this was what I wanted…only I wasn’t sure if it was any more.

Mom, I’m so confused, I thought miserably.

Even without looking at Alex, I was so aware of him: the curve of his dark eyebrows, the sense of easy strength as he leaned back in his chair. All I wanted was to sit beside him and feel him put his arm around me. But it didn’t make any sense. How could my anger have just evaporated?

But you know why, piped up a tiny voice inside me.

I went very still as those minutes at the willow tree rushed back in vivid detail…and now I was able to take it all in. When I’d clung tight to Alex’s grounding energy, I’d seen him with so much clarity, right down to his soul. Leaving me when he’d thought he was going to die had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. His decision hadn’t been perfect, not by a long shot. But he’d done the best he could.

I sat frozen in my seat, recalling how I’d touched every person on the planet: explored the rich tapestry of all their frailties, hopes, strengths…their humanity.

Oh, god, of course I could forgive Alex – I already had. After seeing all that, how could I not forgive someone who’d struggled with such a terrible choice, and would now give anything – anything – if he could somehow change the outcome?

Especially when I loved him so much it hurt?

Suddenly my eyes were full of tears. Alex wasn’t looking at me; he was staring at the TV with the thoughtful frown I knew so well. Why was there a coffee table between us? Why were we in a waiting room full of people?

I cleared my throat. “Alex, um—”

Before I could ask if he’d step outside with me for a second, a doctor came into the room. “Are you with Sebastian Carrera?” she asked, crouching in front of us.

She’d pronounced his name wrong; I hardly noticed. Nodding, I sat up straight and gripped Nina’s hand.

“He’s okay,” she said.

I let out a shivering breath. Across from me, Alex had closed his eyes in relief, shoulders slumping.

The doctor’s expression held a deep sadness of her own, but her tone was compassionate. “He’s got a bad concussion and a few broken ribs. We’ll need to keep him overnight for observation. But his X-rays are clear, no internal cranial pressure. He’s going to be fine.”

Remembering how Seb had asked for Meghan, I had a sudden feeling that fine was relative. My half-angel awareness of him had lessened, but I could still sense his despair, and my chest tightened.

“Can I see him?” I asked.

The doctor looked at her watch.

“Please? I’m his sister.”

It didn’t even feel like a lie. The doctor nodded. “Just you, then, and only for a few minutes – he needs to rest.”

As I got up, my eyes met Alex’s. “Tell him I said hi,” he said quietly. “And that I’m glad he’s okay.”