Angel Fever

I nodded, feeling choked by everything I wanted to say to Alex, but this wasn’t the time. I hurried after the doctor. “I won’t be long,” I said over my shoulder.

The doctor led me down a maze of corridors, then stopped in front of a door. “He’s in here – I’ll be back in five minutes.” Her gaze widened as she studied me. “Wait. Aren’t you—?”

I shook my head. “No,” I said softly. “I just look like her.”

When I pushed open the door, I found Seb lying in a bed with crisp sheets, his bruises worse than before; harsh black stitches slashed diagonally through his left eyebrow.

I sat on the bed beside him and reached for his hand. “Hi,” I whispered.

Wincing, Seb turned his head on the pillow to look at me. He tried to smile, but the look in his hazel eyes was breaking my heart.

“You were right,” he said.

I didn’t have to ask. I squeezed his hand tightly between both of mine. “I know.”

Neither of us spoke for a long moment, and then Seb let out a breath. “We defeated the angels, yes? I can feel it.”

“Yes, we did it. They’re really gone now – for ever.”

He sagged against the bedclothes and closed his eyes. “That’s good,” he whispered. “Oh, that’s so good.”

I stroked his curls from his forehead. “Alex says hi,” I added.

Seb smiled faintly, but I could feel his mind wasn’t on it. “Willow, what am I going to do?”

“You mean about Meghan?”

His fingers gripped mine restlessly. “How is it possible for a man to be this stupid, querida – how?”

“Shh, you need to rest. Seb, it’ll be okay.”

He gave a shattered laugh. “Really? When we broke up, do you know what she said? That she’d wanted to tell me she loved me for so long…but never had, because she knew I wouldn’t say it too.”

Holding onto Seb’s hand, I got a faint flash of Meghan sitting on Seb’s bed, her blue eyes anguished. I’m sorry, Seb. I just can’t do it any more.

“And I just sat there. I told her that, yes, I understood, I didn’t want her to be unhappy – and all I could think was, Meggie, please don’t do this…” Seb’s voice faltered.

“But you know how you feel about her now! She’ll see that; she’ll realize.”

He shook his head, closing his eyes again. “No,” he said dully. “I don’t think so.”

Time for a change of subject. I cleared my throat, looking down at our hands. “Seb, listen. When I was manipulating the energy, it was like I had this incredible rush of knowledge, about every living thing. And…I found out more about half-angels.”

His eyes flew open. “Really?” he said after a pause.

I nodded – and told him what I’d seen. Altogether, there’d been maybe a dozen half-angels throughout time; I’d sensed it in people’s genes. But Seb and I had been the only ones for centuries. And I had a feeling we were the only ones ever who’d been aware of our angels.

As I spoke, I tried not to think about that other part of myself, broken inside of me. Especially as I told Seb the rest: angels weren’t supposed to be able to breed with humans at all, but in a few cases of extreme angel burn, the human’s system had morphed slightly, becoming receptive.

Seb and I existed solely because our mothers had been so severely damaged by our fathers.

Now it seemed like Seb’s hand was comforting me, instead of the other way around. “This doesn’t change anything, not really,” he said after a pause. “Neither of us thought we were here because of some great love affair.”

I nodded, throat tight.

Then Seb’s forehead creased. “You feel different,” he said suddenly.

Before I could answer, I sensed his angel reaching out for mine, and I winced and ducked my head. I hadn’t wanted Seb to know yet, but of course I couldn’t hide it from him.

I sat very still. As his angel touched my own, I felt him realize. He didn’t speak. When I lifted my head, his eyes were bright with tears. Softly, his angel slipped inside of me, finding and cradling that wounded part of me.

Oh god, the look on his face… “I’m all right,” I whispered hoarsely. “Seb, I promise you, I’m all right. Don’t you see? I still have my angel, inside me. And I’m alive. And so are you and Alex – I have everything that matters.”

I clutched his hand. “Please listen to me: you have got to tell Meghan how you feel. You love her – and you tried your best the whole time, and she knows that. She’ll forgive you.” I managed a lopsided smile. “Trust me, okay? I kind of know what I’m talking about on this one.”

I saw hope battle disbelief in Seb’s eyes. “Maybe you’re right,” he said finally.

“I am.”

He smiled slightly then. “You often are,” he said. “It’s very irritating.”

The doctor eased open the door. “Time’s up,” she said.

I bent and kissed his stubbled cheek. “I’ll be back tomorrow when they discharge you, okay?” I lowered my voice. “And by the way, I told her I’m your sister.”

He was already half asleep, his stitches stark against his eyebrow. “Then you were right again,” he murmured. “Because that’s what you are.”

40

AS I WALKED BACK TO the waiting room, my stomach tightened with anticipation. Alex, can I talk to you? Nina could wait a few minutes. All I wanted was to get Alex someplace private and feel his arms around me again – press my face against his warm neck and never let him go.

When I entered the waiting room, my brow creased: his blue plastic chair was empty. Nina sat looking through a different magazine. I perched beside her and then twisted around in my seat, glancing at the restroom.

“Where’s Alex?” I said.

Nina had tossed the magazine aside and was reaching for her coat. “He left.”

My heart stopped. “What?” I said blankly.

She nodded at a pair of empty seats nearby. “He got a ride with those guys; they said they’d drop him off in Pawntucket so he could get his truck. He said to tell you goodbye.”

She saw my expression then and stared at me, flustered. “Willow, the way he said it, I thought you knew. He made it sound like something you’d agreed on.”

Once I know you’re all right, I’ll leave. Suddenly the world was crashing in on me. “How long ago?” I gasped.

“I don’t know, maybe five minutes?”

I’d grabbed up my parka and was running before she finished talking. I darted around a crowd of people as they came in the entrance, heard someone give a startled cry. Nina was shouting behind me. “Willow! Wait!”

The cold air hit me as I shot through the doors. I pounded down the sidewalk, not stopping until I reached the parking lot. I craned up on my tiptoes, longing for my angel. I couldn’t see him. I couldn’t see him anywhere.

“Alex!” I shouted. My voice echoed over the half-empty lot. “Alex!”

Nina caught up with me, panting. “Willow, what—”

Where was the truck? I spotted it and started running again; as I reached it, I whirled towards Nina. “The keys, did he give you the keys?”

She handed them over, and I lunged into the driver’s seat. “Get in!” I cried. A second later we were