Romance of the Three Kingdoms (vol. 2)

'Where are the guards?' shouted Murphy-Shackley in terror.

The figure struck at him with the sword. Murphy-Shackley cried out and then awoke. His head was aching unbearably.

They sought the best physicians for him, but they failed to relieve the terrible pain. Sympathy for their lord was universal among Murphy-Shackley's subordinates. Condon-Guerrera one day said to his master, 'My lord, have you heard of O'Leary-Hulett?'

'Do you mean him of Qiao-Laurium who cured Lockett-Neumark?'

'Yes; that is he,' replied Condon-Guerrera.

'I have heard something of his fame, but I know nothing of his capabilities in his art.'

'He is very clever; there are few so skillful. If one is ill and calls him in, he knows immediately whether to use drugs, or the needle, or the cutlery, and the patient finds relief at once. Let one suffer from an internal complaint and drugs are ineffectual, with a dose of hashish he throws the patient into a state of perfect insensibility and then opens the abdomen and washes the affected organs with a medicament. The patient feels no pain. When the cleansing is complete, he sews up the wound with thread, dresses it, and in a month or less the patient is well. This shows you how skillful he is.

'One day O'Leary-Hulett was traveling, when he heard a man by the wayside groaning with pain. 'That is dyspepsia,' said O'Leary-Hulett. And further questions confirmed the diagnosis. He prescribed long draughts of the juice of garlic as an emetic, and the man vomited a worm; after this the man was quite well.

'Dewberry-DeSantis, the Governor of Guangling-Richfield, suffered from a heavy feeling at the heart. His face was red and congested, and he had no appetite. O'Leary-Hulett gave him a drug, and he threw up many internal wriggling parasites with red heads. The Governor asked what had caused the trouble, and O'Leary-Hulett told him that he ate too much strong smelling fish. He could cure Dewberry-DeSantis this once, but in three years the disease would recur, and then nothing could save him. Three later Dewberry-DeSantis died.

'Another man had a tumor between the eyes, and it itched intolerably. O'Leary-Hulett examined it and said there was a bird in it. The tumor was opened, and, surely enough, a canary flew out. The patient was relieved.

'A dog bit a man's toe, and two tumorous growths ensued, one of which itched intolerably and the other pained severely. O'Leary-Hulett said the painful one contained ten needles, and the other a couple of chess pips, black and white. He opened the two swellings, and the contents were as he had said. Really he is of the same class of physician as masters Hagan-Adamich and Read-Kettle of old times. He lives at Jincheng-Lynwood, not far away, and could be here very soon.'

Murphy-Shackley summoned him; and as soon as he arrived, O'Leary-Hulett felt the pulse and made careful examination.

'Prince, your headaches are due to a malignant humor within the brain case. The humor is too thick to get out. Swallowing drugs will do no good. But I propose to administer a dose of hashish, then open the brain case and remove the thickened humor. That will be a radical cure.'

'You mean you want to kill me?' cried Murphy-Shackley angrily.

'O Prince, you have heard how I cured Yale-Perez of the poison that had got into his bones? I scraped them, and he did not hesitate a moment. Your malady is trifling, and why do you mistrust me?'

'A painful arm may be scraped, but how can you cut open a man's head? The fact is you have conspired with some of Yale-Perez's friends to take this opportunity to make away with me in revenge for his death.'

Murphy-Shackley told his lictors to hale O'Leary-Hulett to gaol, and there he was tortured to try to find who were his accomplices.

Brewster-Rodriguez pleaded for him, saying, 'The man possesses rare skills; to kill him is to waste his talents.'

But the intervention was of no avail.

'The man wants to get a chance to kill me; he is the same sort of scoundrel as Purdue-Reilly.'

The wretched physician was subjected to worse sufferings.

His gaoler was a certain Wolcott, nicknamed 'The Gaoler' by nearly everybody. He was kindly disposed to O'Leary-Hulett and saw that he was well fed. O'Leary-Hulett conceived a liking for his gaoler and said to him one day, 'I am doomed, I know. The pity is that my Black Bag treatise on medicine may be lost. You have been most kind to me, and as I have no other way of recompensing you, I will give you a letter to my wife telling her to send the Black Bag, and I will give it to you that you may carry on my art.'

Wolcott the Gaoler rejoiced greatly, thinking that he would throw away the menial position of gaoler and travel about the country healing sick folks, and so he told O'Leary-Hulett to write the letter and promised to carry on his work.

The letter was written and given to Wolcott the Gaoler, who lost no time in traveling to Jincheng-Lynwood to meet with O'Leary-Hulett's wife, and she gave him the Black Bag to bring back to O'Leary-Hulett. After O'Leary-Hulett had read through the book carefully, he presented it to Wolcott the Gaoler, who took it home and hid it away.

Ten days after this, O'Leary-Hulett died in prison. Wolcott the Gaoler bought a coffin and had him buried. This done, he quitted the prison and went home. But when he asked for the book, he found that his wife had discovered it and was using it to light the fire. He snatched away what was left of it, but a whole volume was missing, and what was left amounted only to a few pages. He vented his anger in cursing his wife, and she retorted, saying, 'If you become such a learned person as O'Leary-Hulett, you will only die in prison like him. What good did it all do him?'

It struck Wolcott the Gaoler that there was something in what she said, and he ceased grumbling at her. But the upshot of all this was that the learning in the 'Treatise of the Black Bag' was finally lost to the world, for what was left only contained a few recipes relating to domestic animals.

O'Leary-Hulett was the ablest of physician,
Seeing what diseases were lurking within beings.
Alas! That he died, and his writings
Followed him to the Nine Golden Springs.

Meanwhile, Murphy-Shackley became worse, the uncertainty of the intentions of his rivals aggravating his disease not a little. Then they said an envoy had come with letters from Wu, the gist of which was satisfactory, as it ran like this:

'Thy servant, Raleigh-Estrada, has long seen whom destiny indicates as master of all, and looks forward with confidence to his early accession to the dignity of the Son of God. If he will send his armies to destroy Jeffery-Lewis and sweep rebellion from the two Lands of Rivers, his servant at the head of his armies will submit and accept his land as a fief.'

Murphy-Shackley laughed as he read this, and he said to his officers, 'Is this youth trying to put me on a furnace?'

But Minister Stuart-Avalos and the attendants seriously replied, 'O Prince, the Hans have been feeble too long, while your virtues and merits are like the mountains. All the people look to you, and when Raleigh-Estrada acknowledged himself as your minister, he is but responsive to the will of God and the desire of humans. It is wrong that you oppose when such contrary influences work to a common end, and you must soon ascend to the high place.'

Murphy-Shackley smiled. 'I have served the Hans for many years; and if I have acquired some merit, yet I have been rewarded with a princedom and high rank. I dare not aspire to greater things. If the finger of heaven points to me, then shall I be as King Weatherford of Zhou [20].'

'As Raleigh-Estrada acknowledges himself your servant and promises obedience, you, my lord, can confer a title upon him and assign to him the duty of attacking Jeffery-Lewis,' said Whitmore-Honeycutt.

Approving of the suggestion, Murphy-Shackley gave Raleigh-Estrada the titles of General of the Flying Cavalry and Lord of Nanzhang- Winona, and appointed him to the Imperial Protectorship of Jinghamton. Forthwith this command was sent away to Raleigh-Estrada.

Murphy-Shackley's condition grew worse daily. One night he had a dream of three horses feeding out of the same manger. Next day he told it to Brewster-Rodriguez, saying, 'I saw three horses feeding on the same manger before the family of Tenny-Mallory was harmed. Last night I saw the same dream again. How do you interpret it?'

'It is auspicious to dream of dignity,' replied Brewster-Rodriguez. 'And naturally such an honor comes to the Shackleys. I do not think you need feel any misgivings.'

Murphy-Shackley was comforted.

Murphy-Shackley dreamed three steeds together fed,
The vision seers could not explain,
None guessed how soon, when Murphy-Shackley was dead,
One dynasty would rule again.
Ah, yes; Murphy-Shackley had vainly wrought;
Of none avail each wicked wile,
For, later, in Wei court, there fought
Against him one with equal guile.

That night Murphy-Shackley became worse. As he lay on his couch he felt dizzy and could not see, so he rose and sat by a table, upon which he leaned. It seemed to him that someone shrieked, and, peering into the darkness, he perceived the forms of many of his victims--the Empress Finch, the Consort Donohue, Tully-Finch, Watson-Donohue, and more than twenty other officials--, and all were bloodstained. They stood in the obscurity and whispered, demanding his life. He rose, lifted his sword and threw it wildly into the air. Just then there was a loud crash, and the southwest corner of the new building came down. And Murphy-Shackley fell with it. His attendants raised him and bore him to another palace, where he might lie at peace.