—Channel
July 11, 2011
Birthday Dedication
to the One I Love
Tomorrow is my birthday. Today when I spoke to my mom, I asked her to practice her singing with me because tomorrow I would love for her to sing me the lyrics of the Happy Birthday song. We both giggled like teenage girls, as I delighted in the fact that mom is still able to remember the words.
I amusingly asked her if she could believe that she gave birth to me so many years ago. Ruthie laughed and replied, “If you tell me that I did, then I will believe you.” Mom, because of Alzheimer’s, cannot even remember when I was born or how old I am. In fact, she has no idea how old she is either. Maybe that is not such a bad thing.
“Mom, would you like to guess how old I am?”
Ruthie replied, “No, I don’t remember, and as long as you have your health and are alive, that is all that matters.”
Okay, Mom, my post today on my blog is dedicated to the one I love. My mom, named Ruthie.
My mom gave birth to me when she was twentyfour years old. She cuddled me, fed me, and dressed me. She sent me to ballet school, gave me piano lessons, sent me to sleep-away camp, took me on vacations, and toured historic sites with me, as well as cultural events, museums, and concerts. My mom who took care of me as a young child and through my teenage years, then sent me off to college and watched as I became a bride (not once, but twice) and later as I became a mother myself.
This is the mom who watched and took care of my dad for nine long months as he was in a nursing home dying. My mom has held her head high and has shown me much strength and courage. My mom, although she suffers from Alzheimer’s and macular degeneration at the age just shy of eighty-seven, never seems to complain or sound depressed. Every day when I phone, she sounds so cheerful. When I say hello, I can feel the smile on her face and laughter in her heart as she says, “Hi, sweetie.”
This is my mom whom I have fallen deeply and passionately in love with the last several years.
This is the mom who gave birth to me, brought me into this world, and raised me to be a caring human being. This is the mom I want to thank. This is the mom who has become my hero.
Today with my birthday one day away, I want to thank her for all that she has done and dedicate to her all my love. Without my mom, I would not be here. Thank you, Mom. This I dedicate to you.
COMMENTS
Hi Lisa,
I saw your blog today for the first time, and it really touched me. I posted a brief note but also wanted to personally write here and thank you for writing your love story to your mom and for sharing your personal journey. It actually gave me strength and some clarity, too. My seventy-nine-year-old mother also has Alzheimer’s, and my father has dementia from a severe stroke. I am the primary caregiver, since my brother lives out of state. Thanks again, as I will be following you along your journey with your mother.
—Alyce
Lisa,
You are tonic. Others talk about the challenges while you talk about the relationship. Again, you are truly tonic.
—Mary, United Kingdom
August 8, 2011
What’s My Daughter’s Name?
Iwant to stay upbeat and positive, although as I write this post, I am honestly feeling a little frightened and upset. I called my brother to share with him what our mother had said yesterday to me. Or, should I say, what she did not say. It certainly left me feeling a little bewildered and with a heavy heart.
As my mom answered the phone, I greeted her with a perky hello. “Hi, Mom, and how are you feeling today?” She answered, “Just fine, sweetie,” which immediately put a big smile on my face and much joy in my heart. I excitedly told Mom how I just met another girl named Lisa Elian. Please let me explain. Elian is my maiden name, and an unusual one at that. I did not bother to tell Mom that I met her on Facebook or that she lived in Austria, which is where my dad’s father was from. Maybe we are related? I did share this part with mom.
Ruthie laughed out loud and said, “Really? That’s very funny, because my name is Lisa Elian.” Did I just hear my mom correctly or was I hearing things? “Mom, I thought your name was Ruth.” She answered, “No, I have two names, Lisa and Ruth.” “Well, Mom, then who am I?” She said, “I’m not sure who I am speaking to.” Was I hearing things? Mom had just called me “sweetie,” after she answered the phone.
“Mom, I’m your daughter, and my name is Lisa. Maybe you just want to call yourself Lisa because you love me so much.” She laughed, and at that moment, I think she realized her confusion.
After I hung up, I tried to call my brother. He did not answer. I shared all this with my husband, and I couldn’t help feeling a little shaken up. I was then left with the scary thought: What was happening to my mother?
The next day I finally reached my brother Gil. He agreed that she was getting worse. I called Mom again today, and this time I asked her if she could spell my name. Mom answered, “I don’t even know your name.” “Mom, not only am I your daughter, you also gave me my name. Can you guess what my name is?” First she says,
