Praise for My Mom My Hero
“Lisa Hirsch has the remarkable ability to help people touched by Alzheimer’s see that the disease opens as well as closes doors. With humor, compassion, and insight, her observations remind us to stay open to the unexpected gifts the experience brings. My Mom My Hero is filled with love and a deep appreciation for the human spirit. It’s a book to return to over and over.”
—Laura Stein, best-selling author
“People who are caring for a loved one with dementia or Alzheimer’s face not only the monumental day-to-day tasks of caregiving but also enormous emotional turmoil brought on by the unraveling of their relationship with a person so important to their life. With grace, humor, and empathy, Lisa Hirsch shows us how to live in the moment and savor the special, even sacred times we can still create with the people we care for, no matter how difficult the circumstances. This book is a rare gift for anyone who reads it.”
—Holly Robinson, author of Sleeping Tigers
and The Wishing Hill
“Ms. Hirsch transforms her relationship with her mother through a maze of memories and imaginings brought on by Alzheimer’s. We follow her story with personal hope—can we reconcile our own mother-daughter relationship with such grace and humor?”
—Darlene Markovich, founder,
The Missing Peace Project
“Lisa Hirsch takes us on this wonderful journey about how her distant relationship with her mother is set aside when her mom is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Lisa becomes energized by her mother’s courage and takes on the role of core caregiver. Clearly another lesson on how love conquers all. A must read for anyone dealing with elder care.”
—Pat Moffett, author of Ice Cream in the Cupboard
“With her cheery spirit and thoughtful reflection, Lisa Hirsch shows us how we can have meaningful relationships with loved ones suffering from Alzheimer’s. My Mom My Hero is a light of inspiration in a world that can be dark and frustrating. To me it’s a story with two heroes—mother and daughter.”
—Franz Wisner, New York Times best-selling author
of Honeymoon with My Brother and
How the World Makes Love
My Mom My Hero: Alzheimer’s—A Mother and Daughter’s Bittersweet Journey
Copyright © 2013 Lisa R. Hirsch
Published by Logan Shawn Press
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced (except for inclusion in reviews), disseminated or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or in any information storage and retrieval system, or the Internet/World Wide Web without written permission from the author or publisher.
DISCLAIMER
Actual people’s names have all been changed to protect their privacy.
Visit the blog at www.MommyHero.blogspot.com
Book design by:
Arbor Books, Inc.
www.arborbooks.com
My Mom My Hero: Alzheimer’s—A Mother and Daughter’s Bittersweet Journey
Lisa R. Hirsch
1. Title 2. Author 3. Memoir
Library of Congress Control Number: 2013903463
ISBN: 978-0-615-77398-8
I dedicate this book to my mother,
Ruth Elian, for always loving me and
being there for me whether I knew it or not.
As Mother Teresa said,
“Not all of us can do great things.
But we can do small things with great love.”
My mom has Alzheimer’s. Out of her suffering with this disease, she has inspired me to write a diary of our journey together. Our relationship has blossomed into a true love affair. As a teenager I had wished for someone else to be my mother, but today I would never trade her for any other mom in the world. Each and every day she touches my heart. I’d love to share our story with you and what living with Alzheimer’s is all about.
Ten percent of profits earned will be donated
to Us Against Alzheimer’s.
Table of Contents
Introduction
February 20, 2011
Girl With a Curl
Spring, 2011
Loving the Mom I Never Appreciated
June 22, 2011
Trading Places, or Is Alzheimer’s Catching?
July 11, 2011
Birthday Dedication to the One I Love
August 8, 2011
What’s My Daughter’s Name?
August 24, 2011
Happy Birthday, Mom
December 18, 2011
Feelings, Oh So Many Feelings
January 16, 2012
Is This a Dream?
January 22, 2012
Is My Cup Half Empty or Half Full?
February 5, 2012
A Day Filled With Sunshine
March 9, 2012
Little Things Can Mean a Lot
March 17, 2012
Is This a Dream or a Nightmare?
March 30, 2012
Feelings of My Mom
March 31, 2012
Those Special Moments
April 8, 2012
Like a Miracle
April 22, 2012
In Mom’s World, Do I Laugh or Cry?
May 4, 2012
Does My Mom With Alzheimer’s Know It’s Mother’s Day?
May 13, 2012
The Distance Between Us
May 28, 2012
So Sweet and Tender
June 29, 2012
She Really Makes Me Smile
July 7, 2012
My Man, I Loved Him So
August 10, 2012
I Feel Mom Drifting Away
August 18, 2012
Glimmers of a Rainbow
August 25, 2011
Life Is Short—Be Happy
August 31, 2012
Because I Love You
September 6, 2012
What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?
September 11, 2012
Interviewing My Mom With Alzheimer’s
September 14, 2012
Is My Name Lisa?
September 23, 2012
Could This Be Magic?
September 28, 2012
Savoring the Moment
October 12, 2012
I Wonder What Mom Is Thinking
October 15, 2012
Sounds of Joy
October 19, 2012
Mom Really Melts My Heart
Introduction
This is a story of love, dedication, discovery, and transformation. It is the story of my mother-in-law’s journey into Alzheimer’s and the newfound love from a daughter to her mother.
Lisa and I don’t really know when the disease first started. Its effects are at first subtle and hard to discern. Looking back we can identify the first signs, but when they first appeared we were more bothered and baffled than sympathetic and caring.
This is a strange disease; impossible to treat, the sufferer slips into a world with diminished awareness and capacity. The family and caregivers go through their own journey. Starting off in ignorance, one is forced to face the reality of the disease and has the choice of denial or acceptance. There is no correct response. Each family will find their own way of coping.
Ruthie was always a cute, spunky spirit who freely expressed her opinions and doted on our son Logan. Her annual trips up from Florida were nice times to spend together, with her and Logan sharing bowls of popcorn as they watched his favorite movies. Over time, though, these trips became more problematic. She seemed less attentive and more argumentative. What
