COMMENTS
Hi, just wanted to say I read your blog regularly. I looked after my uncle for twelve years. He had macular degeneration and for the last five had Alzheimer’s. Sadly he died in May aged eighty-six. We always joked about him getting a telegram from the queen when he was a hundred years old, a custom we have in Britain when one reaches that age, but the uncle I knew had left years before. Your mum seems such a lovely person, and I wish things could have been different for her and for you. All I can say is treasure every day. I found with my uncle there was always something he did or said that made me smile. Anyway, take care.
—Angie
Thank you for sharing the motivation and showing how Alzheimer’s can be less painful
—Vanya, Beirut
I share your thoughts. I used to have dreams that my mom was suddenly back to her old self, too. It was a way of wishing that the dementia never happened, and unfortunately, one can’t wish the condition away. We have to walk through the journey, rocks, bumps, potholes, and all, and hope that at the end we reach a place of understanding and compassion for others who are, or will be, traveling the same road.
—Julianne
Hi Lisa,
When I read your story of how your heart was changed towards your mom, I thought, Oh, that’s me, too. When I was growing up, I didn’t treat my mom too well; mostly, I ignored her. Mom moved in with me and my family (husband and two teenage boys) eight years ago. She already had dementia, but it wasn’t too bad. She repeated herself and had some memory loss. Today, she has very advanced memory loss. She doesn’t remember what objects are or where she is. She doesn’t recognize most family members. She is still living with us. It is a challenge. I gave up my life for her along the way. I love her so much. I would do anything for her. I take it one day at a time. She is the sweetest person I know. She is happy and still signs old hymns daily. Funny how she remembers the words of old hymns like “Blessed Assurance.” I will continue this path until either the Lord calls her home or she is on hospice. Thanks for sharing.
—Patricia
Lisa’s blog illustrates an important concept when interacting with those with Alzheimer’s. As Lisa succinctly says, “My mom does not remember what is true, and to me that makes no difference. At this point it does not matter. I guess what I need, or so badly want, is to delight in these cute and humorous conversations whether they make sense or not.” So true, Lisa, as arguing about the accuracy of the memory of a past event only serves to upset both the person with Alzheimer’s and the person who is engaged in a conversation. It is about savoring the present, sharing the moment, and making it matter on a satisfying emotional level because after all, that is all we truly have.
—Long Island Alzheimer’s Foundation
Visit Lisa’s blog at
www.MommyHero.blogspot.com.
