—Adriane
September 28, 2012
Savoring the Moment
For almost a week, each day I have found my mom to be what one might say is “connected.” It is true that she has absolutely no memory anymore, of the past nor the present, yet she has been sounding so refreshed and so alive.
This last week there have been no dark clouds in her life, only beautiful colors of a rainbow. Mom has been extremely happy, and her world seems to be filled with clarity. I hear the sounds of birds chirping when she answers the phone with, “Hi, sweetie.” She sounds so carefree as sounds of laughter accompany her world.
We have been able to have some conversations without her rushing me off the phone. We have sung some songs and spelled some words, and she has been able to follow along with each breath that she takes. It seems to be like a miracle, as if she has escaped from Alzheimer’s. We have been able to be in the moment.
Of course she is not the same mom I had before, yet this lovely lady is still my mother—a mother who can still tell me how much she loves and misses me, a mother who still gets excited every time she hears the sound of my voice, a mother who still can tell me to have a wonderful day, and a mother who still shares with me how lucky we are to have our health.
The other day after I spoke to her, I thought of my childhood and teenage years, and I thought how my mother always believed in me. I thought how supportive she was to me and how she encouraged me when I needed to hear those words from her. For some crazy reason, I took most of this for granted.
I realized today how my world has changed so drastically with our relationship. Now with every breath she takes and with the simplest of things that she may say, I hold on to each syllable that resonates from her sweet lips.
The words “I miss you and I love you” have such a deeper meaning to me. These are words that she still can speak. I realize that as time goes by, because of Alzheimer’s, she may not always be able to say them. I hold on tightly and I cling to all these loving words, as if I never heard them before.
Today, until no longer, I savor all the love that I receive from her. I cherish even more, all the love that I can also give back to her. I think of this as savoring the moment, for I know all too well what probably lies ahead.
On October 21, I will be on the Walk to End Alzheimer’s as a tribute to my mom, her younger brother who has passed away, and all the others who have suffered from this disease. We are all in this together and we must share in spreading awareness. We must find a cure.
COMMENTS
Once again, your words have touched my heart. I know what you mean about taking things for granted in the past and how absolutely magical the words “I love you” can feel these days. My mom’s speech was one of the first things to go, but every now and then, even in her worst moments, she will pop out a clear sentence. During those moments, when she says, “I love you,” it’s the best gift in the world. As far gone as she is, I have to believe that in those moments she knows what she’s saying.
—Anabelle
I want to wish you best of luck with your mom. Cherish, as you know from your friends, all the time you still have together. It is precious.
—Anonymous
Lisa,
It is true, our mother’s teach us to value friendship. They really were our first true friends. My closest friend Debbie had a mom who suffered with Alzheimer’s for years. Through her, I learned to treasure my mom even more, since you never know when this dreaded aliment takes the minds of those we love. My mom now is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s. It so sad that their golden years get somewhat tarnished by this aliment. I wish for everyone a cure once and for all.
—Anonymous
Way to go, Lisa, for your fantastic efforts in the fight against Alzheimer’s disease. I’m sure it will be a great experience, and we wish you all the best in your NYC Walk to End Alzheimer’s. Good for you, and hats off to your enthusiastic efforts—we’re lucky to work with people like you.
—Amelia White, events coordinator,
Alzheimer Society of Newfoundland and Labrador, Inc.
October 12, 2012
I Wonder What Mom
Is Thinking
Mom recently had two wonderful weeks that seemed to abruptly come to an end. This week started off with her sounding like she had just swallowed speed. She was on an adrenaline rush. Mom was saying some things that made sense and other things that I found quite difficult to understand. I wondered what was going on.
Did Mom have another urinary tract infection that was causing her to be in what seemed like a semi-delirious state? Probably not, since she had started an antibiotic the week before. My brother suspected that she might have had an infection. I questioned what would happen if she really needed an antibiotic. My brother Gil, being a physician, reassured me that this would not be a problem.
I found her one day speaking about my father, who passed away seventeen years ago, saying that she was waiting for him to come home from work. The next day she kept rambling on about some lady and how she remembered what had happened with her. She was making absolutely no sense at all. The next moment she was telling me that I was the best daughter in the world. Of course, I loved hearing those words.
I decided to ask her some questions
