Tickle His Pickle: Your Hands-On Guide to Penis Pleasing

him. “I’m going to take you in my mouth,” If you feel like you’re doing all the talking, ask him a non-yes-or-no question about what he wants you to do, like, “Where do you want me to lick you now?”

Honesty is your best aphrodisiac. Say you’re hot when you’re hot; wet when you’re wet; coming when you’re coming. Score extra erotic points by breathlessly saying his name. “Do you want to watch me touch myself, Richard?” You can even pour out one of your sexual fantasies. Remember, he wants to know.

Look Delicious

Guys are visual creatures.They love to watch action sports, action movies, action television and you—in action.

Your guy is already looking lustily at you during sex. But are you self-consciously covering up, or giving him an erotic eyeful. The less shy you are, the more turned on he’ll be.

You can hold him spellbound simply by putting yourself in his visual crosshairs.Try any of these suggestions and enjoy your own visual feast watching how turned-on he’ll be:

Dress seductively. Whether his fantasy is slinky lingerie, leather Biker Chick or Ze French Maid, wear your costumes proudly. Even better, buy them too tight so your breasts appear like they’re about to fall out! Now do a strip tease for him.

Touch yourself. Pinch your nipples, squeeze your breasts, suck your finger, run your hands through your hair. It’ll feel good to you-and look great to him.

Strike a pose. You know your greatest assets. Position yourself to show them off! Let him see you’re playful and confident—and that you know what he likes.

Live in the moment. Let your body language speak for you-your glistening skin, erotic expressions, luscious lips, arched back, thrusting hips.When he sees you’re turned on, he’ll be even more turned on.

Pleasure yourself. There are few sights sexier to a guy than to watch his woman masturbate for him.The sight of you touching your beautiful vagina will send your guy out of his mind.

Eyes Wide Open

Would you like to knock your guy’s socks off so far, they’ll wash, dry and fold themselves, too? Then take a deep breath, open up your mind, and consider this:

Adult videos.

Gulp! If you’re like many women, you instantly flashed back to cheesy porn scenes from the ’70’s, featuring gross guys with caveman body hair doing sexual acrobatics to the world’s funkiest soundtrack.

Before you say, “two thumbs down,” hear me out.

Times have changed. Some of today’s productions, while certainly not Hollywood blockbusters, have now become higher quality entertainment, featuring sexier, more appealing actors who may easily arouse your interest, too.

But why should you watch adult videos? It’s what your guy wants.

Most every guy I’ve ever met will jump at the chance to watch an adult video with his lover. Even if he’s never said it out loud, your guy is no exception (and if he is, he’ll tell you).

Want proof? Next time you’re lying in bed, say in a soft, innocent tone, “I’m a little curious to watch an adult video with you.” If he doesn’t immediately kiss you on the lips—or on the feet—it’s because he’s too busy thanking his lucky stars to be with such a giving and generous lover.

Getting Past “Gross!”

Has your guy ever skipped hanging out with his buddies or missed a big football game just to go with you to an unmanly event? Could it be your turn to try something he really wants—especially if it ultimately brings you pleasure? Here’s how to ease any anxiety.

Start with an open mind. There’s nothing to be intimidated by, not a thing to be jealous about, no one you’re being compared to. This is just for your own private viewing pleasure on a two-dimensional TV screen that can be switched off at the touch of a button.

Sadie Sez:

Setting video boundaries. Adult videos should be used to lift up your love life, not create a crutch. You should both agree on what types of adult entertainment you’ll watch, and how often they should be watched. Remember: there’s no obligation to watch any of them, and either of you should have the power to pull the plug.

It’s no big deal, really. It’s just another couple having sex. If you don’t like the particular couple you’re watching, fast forward to the next couple. If the words or sounds bother you, click ‘mute’ and play your favorite music and simply let the video run as background visuals.

They’re better then ever. Did you know that many adult videos now come with no talky backstories—just erotic scenes? Just find the genres that turn you on, and give the fast forward button a rest.

You might actually like it. Whoa! Could you actually find yourself getting wet watching a real hunk working some extraordinary magic with his tongue? What if…while you’re watching… your own guy starts working the same magic on you? Have you ever had an explosive orgasm like THAT?

You could learn something. If the action doesn’t move you, try watching it strictly as an educational video you can secretly title, Moves to Mimic.

You can satisfy his fantasies. Is he into anything you’re not particularly fond of? Foot love? Light bondage? Anal sex? Then select a video that plays to his fetishes, and bypass the part about your own participation. He’s happy—and you’re off the hook. And don’t neglect watching movies featuring fetishes of your own!

Sadie Sez:

Mute your cynical soundtrack. There’s no bigger turn-off for a guy than to hear his woman picking apart the adult video he’s enjoying. Sure they’re acting. Sure those are fake breasts. Sure that was a “real” orgasm. Surely you can find something better to do with your mouth!

5. HAIR TODAY—GONE TOMORROW