breathless one about how maybe we could be civilized for the children and maybe he could pop round for supper sometime. And then right at the end –’ she gulped and her eyes filled – ‘I – said I missed him.’
I reached out. Covered her hand with mine and squeezed it. ‘That’s not so terrible, Angie.’
She glanced down and a tear escaped. Fled down her face and dropped on her lap. She wiped it away savagely. ‘Except that that was two days ago and I haven’t heard a dicky bird since. And no, he’s not away. Clarissa said she spoke to him at the cottage yesterday. You see, I just thought – if he came for supper, in the lovely home we’d created together over the years, he wouldn’t be able to resist it – me. And of course the girls go and meet him so I don’t have that. If they were younger he’d have to pick them up from home. Realize what he’d given up. I could be on the doorstep looking radiant, dressed up, a spot of scent. Roses on the hall table.’
‘Yes, yes, I see,’ I said gently.
She swallowed. Attempted a brave smile but it wobbled. ‘You know, it’s insulting enough to be left for another woman, Poppy, but to be left for no one, for a vacuum to be preferable …’ She fell silent. Ran a fingertip around the rim of her wine glass. Round and round it went.
‘I can’t stop making a fool of myself,’ she whispered.
‘That’s not true.’
‘It is. It is true. Pete. Tom.’ She paused. ‘I made a fool of myself with Sam Hetherington too,’ she said quietly. ‘After the hunt. Not that I care now.’
‘Did you?’ I felt all my sinews stiffen.
‘We all went back to his place for tea. It’s a bit of a tradition at the end of a day’s hunting, for anyone left in the saddle to wind up where you started, where the meet was, except it’s hardly tea. Bottles of whisky come out and everyone drinks jolly hard, I can tell you. Well, as you know, I’d already had a few pre-match tinctures at the meet, so by about five o’clock I was flying. Particularly since I had to wait until everyone had gone before I could – you know.’ She fell silent.
‘Proposition him?’ I prompted breathlessly, unable to resist.
‘Oh, I didn’t jump him or anything,’ she said hastily. ‘Just asked if he was taking anyone to the hunt ball on Saturday, and if not, since we both seemed to be on our tod, whether we shouldn’t team up together. In the nicest possible way, of course.’
‘Of course.’ I was rapt. ‘And?’
‘He sort of laughed and said he wasn’t sure what his plans were. So I persisted. Will I ever learn? I said, “Come on, Prince Charming, how about taking Cinders to the ball?” Even plucked a rose from a vase and put it between my teeth, perched coquettishly on his kitchen table in my jodhpurs. I was well and truly smashed, obviously.’
‘Obviously.’ I was trying hard to hide my agogness.
‘And he was terribly charming. Removed the rose and escorted me to my horse box where Libby, my groom, was waiting to drive me home. Said he was really sorry, but since he was hosting the thing, he thought he’d be pretty busy. It was only when I threw my arms round his neck – all in front of Libby, incidentally, who didn’t know where to look – that he disentangled me and told me there was someone he couldn’t get over. That he wasn’t quite ready for “teaming up” with anyone. His ex, I suppose.’
‘Yes. I suppose.’ Suddenly I felt the need to hide my face. I got to my feet and went to the sink, busying myself on a spurious errand of hanging out a dishcloth, hoping she’d go. I wanted my heart to sink alone, not in company. Angie didn’t seem inclined to move, though.
She sighed. ‘So there we have it.’ She gave an ironic little laugh. ‘Two unattached men, one of whom I have children by, both of whom would rather be alone than with me. Marvellous, isn’t it? And d’you know, Poppy, at my age, and at my stage in life, I really didn’t think I’d be worrying about this sort of thing. Thought I’d be planning little dinner parties, titivating the garden. Didn’t think I’d be working the singles market. There’s Clarissa at school with boyfriend trouble, crying down the phone about some boy she likes who’s gone off with a friend of hers, and I’m too busy with my own disastrous love life to even sympathize. Too busy being rebuffed myself. Pitiful, isn’t it?’
This didn’t seem to demand an answer. But it occurred to me that I too had been rebuffed by Sam, when I’d asked him if he read, mentioned the book club. Charmingly brushed aside. So charmingly I might even have been in danger of not noticing: of repeating the error, going back for more, if the hunt had gone otherwise. If, say, Thumper had behaved perfectly, might I not have found myself back at Sam’s place with Angie for tea, outstaying all the other riders, elbowing her out of the way over the whisky bottle, nicking the rose from her teeth, asking him to accompany
