terrified cur within. Many lost this secret battle, but the majority were victorious and from that time were masters of themselves.
With young Pagel the result was at first in doubt. One could have spoken to him, shouted at him, and he would have heard nothing. His ears perceived only the wailing overhead; he looked hither, thither, like someone in a nightmare; in the midst of the advance he hesitated. Now he looked back.
“Yes, Pagel, that’s right, the damned Reds are getting the range. They’re landing them nearer. Yes, we’re in for it now, Second Lieutenant!”
And then the first shell was already in their lines—automatically Studmann and Prackwitz flung themselves down. But what was the matter with Pagel? Young Pagel stood looking at the shell hole, his lips moving as if he were mumbling some incantation.
“Lie down, get down, Pagel!” screamed von Prackwitz.
Up went the earth in a welter of dust, fire and smoke—the explosion rent the air.
Fool! thought von Prackwitz.
A pity! thought von Studmann.
But—and one could hardly believe one’s eyes—a shadow, a motionless figure was standing in the fog and smoke. It became clearer, leaped forward, picked something off the ground, shouted furiously “Blast it,” let it drop, took his cap to hold it by, rushed up to Prackwitz, clicked his heels and said: “Beg to report, Herr Rittmeister, a shell splinter!” And in very unmilitary language: “Damned hot!”
He had—forever—vanquished the cur in himself.
Forever?
This scene, this rather ridiculous yet heroic deed of a very young man, was clearly recollected by the two as they saw Pagel sitting, apparently rather the worse for drink, at a corner table in Lutter and Wegner’s. “There’s Bombshell Pagel!” they called out.
Bombshell Pagel looked up. With the hesitating movements of the drunken, he pushed back his glass and bottle before rising to his feet and said without surprise: “The officers!”
“Stand at ease, Pagel,” said the Rittmeister smiling. “We’re no longer officers. And you’re the only one of us who still wears his uniform.”
“Certainly, Herr Rittmeister,” said Pagel stubbornly. “But I’m no longer on duty.”
The two friends exchanged an understanding glance.
“May we sit at your table, Pagel?” asked von Studmann. “It’s rather crowded down here, and we want something to eat.”
“Please do,” said Pagel and sat down quickly as if standing had become very difficult for him. The other two, sitting down, spent some time choosing their food and wine.
Then the Rittmeister raised his glass. “Your health, Pagel! To old times!”
“My respectful thanks, Herr Rittmeister, Herr Oberleutnant. Yes, to old times!”
“And what are you doing now?”
“Now?” Pagel looked slowly from one to the other as if he had to think very carefully about his answer. “I’m not sure.… Something or other.” He made a vague gesture.
“But you must have been doing something during these four years,” said von Studmann. “Perhaps you’ve started something, been employed, achieved something, eh?”
“Certainly, certainly,” assented Pagel politely. And with the malicious insight of drunkenness, he added: “May I be permitted to ask, Herr Oberleutnant, what you have achieved during these four years?”
Von Studmann started, was about to be angry, then laughed. “You’re right, Pagel. I haven’t achieved anything. As you see me here, I have only six hours ago suffered complete shipwreck again. I really shouldn’t know what to do if the Rittmeister wasn’t taking me back to his manor—as a kind of apprentice. Prackwitz has a big estate in Neumark, you know.”
“Shipwrecked six hours ago,” repeated Pagel, not noticing what was said about the estate. “That’s strange.”
“What’s strange, Pagel?”
“I don’t know.… Perhaps because you’re eating duck and barberries, therefore it seems strange.”
“With regard to that,” said von Studmann, in his turn malicious, “you’re sitting here and drinking Steinwein which, by the way, taken in such quantities is far too heavy. Duck would be much better for you.”
“Of course,” Pagel readily agreed. “I did think about it. But eating’s so terribly boring, drinking’s much easier. Besides, I’ve something on hand.”
“Whatever you may have on hand, Pagel,” remarked Studmann casually, “food will serve your purpose better than drink.”
“Hardly, hardly,” replied Pagel. And, as if to prove his point, he emptied his glass. But since this demonstration made no impression on the others, their faces being still skeptical, he added by way of explanation: “I have to spend a lot of money.”
“By drinking you’ll certainly not be able to spend much more, Pagel,” interposed von Prackwitz, more and more annoyed by the casual attitude of Studmann, who was rather encouraging this young puppy. “Don’t you see, man, that you’re full to the brim already?”
Von Studmann winked at his friend as a hint to desist, but Pagel remained surprisingly calm. “Possibly,” he said. “But that doesn’t matter. I’ll get through my money all the easier.”
“So it’s something to do with women,” von Prackwitz cried angrily. “I’m no moralist, Pagel, but to be in such a drunken condition—that’s not good.”
Pagel made no reply except to fill his glass again, empty it and refill it deliberately. Prackwitz made a furious gesture, but von Studmann was not in agreement. His friend was an excellent fellow, but certainly no psychologist; he was not observant, and he always thought that everybody must feel as he did. And when things were not just as he wished them he would flare up at once.
Seeing Pagel refill his glass, Studmann was very painfully, and therefore very vividly, reminded of a certain room—No. 37. There, too, glasses had been filled and emptied in a similar manner, and he also clearly remembered a look of fear and insolence which he had observed then. He was not at all sure that Pagel, in spite of his heavy drinking, was actually drunk. Certainly, however, he didn’t like being questioned and would probably much prefer to be alone. But Studmann had no intention of allowing himself to be influenced by Pagel’s indifferent or even hostile mood. He sensed they had met the former second lieutenant in a critical situation; now, as before, they had to keep an eye on him. And von Studmann, who that afternoon had suffered a defeat, swore to himself not to fall for any tricks that night, but to throw the champagne bottle hand grenade in good time—there were many kinds of precedents for such actions.
Pagel was smoking, apparently lost in thought and not altogether conscious of the others’ presence. In an undertone Studmann informed Prackwitz of his scheme and was answered by an impatient gesture of refusal, but in the end Prackwitz agreed.
Pagel tilted the bottle over his glass, but no wine flowed forth. Avoiding their eyes, he attracted the waiter’s attention and ordered another bottle of Steinwein and a double cherry brandy.
The impatient Prackwitz started to speak, but Studmann placed an imploring hand on his knee, and the other maintained an unwilling silence.
When the waiter brought the wine Pagel asked for the bill. The charge, either because of the guest’s condition or because he had been drinking there for some hours, was heavy, indeed extortionate. Pagel pulled a wad of bank notes out, selected a few, gave them to the waiter and refused the change. The man’s unusually servile thanks gave a hint as to the size of the tip.
Again the two gentlemen exchanged glances, the one angry and the other pleading for patience. They still said nothing, however, but continued to observe Pagel, who now drew from every pocket large and small bundles of notes, piling them on top of each other. Then he took his paper serviette, wrapped it round them, searched his pockets again for a length of string, and tied the parcel up. Pushing it aside, he leaned back as after a task finished, lit a cigarette, swallowed the cherry brandy and poured out a glass of wine.
Then he looked up. His expression was remarkably gloomy and uncompromising, and his glance rested mockingly on the two friends. At once Studmann was aware that Pagel was only showing off. His drinking, his apparent indifference to them, the provocative display and wrapping up of his money—all was histrionics, performed for their benefit.
