While the marshmallows are baking, start your frosting. Your pan will come out of the oven before you’re through making the frosting, but that’s okay.
Melt the butter in a two-quart saucepan over medium-low heat.
Break
Stir in the softened cream cheese and the milk.
Heat the mixture until it can be stirred smooth.
Remove the saucepan from the heat
Beat in approximately a cup of the powdered sugar. When that’s incorporated, beat in another cup. When that’s incorporated, beat in the rest of the box.
When the frosting is smooth, spread it over the hot Chocolate Marshmallow Cookie Bars, swirling it into the marshmallows. It’ll be soft, but don’t worry. It’ll firm up as the bars cool.
Set the pan on a cold burner or a wire rack to cool. When you can handle it without using potholders, slip the pan into the refrigerator and let it chill for at least an hour.
To serve, cut the bars into 32 pieces.
Hannah’s Note: Chocolate Marshmallow Bars are very rich. (Mike’s the only person I’ve ever known to eat four in one sitting.) Make sure you have a full carafe of strong coffee right next to the plate with the bars. You should also have another pot all ready to go in the kitchen.
Yield: One recipe makes 32 incredibly chocolaty marsh-mallowy bars.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F., rack in the middle position.
3 cups flour
1 Tablespoon baking soda
3 cups brown sugar
4 eggs, beaten
3 cups salted butter, softened
6 cups oatmeal
? cup white
sugar for dipping the dough balls
Put the flour in a medium-sized bowl. Stir in the baking soda and mix until it’s well combined. Wash your spoon and put it away. You won’t be using it again today.
Go to your cupboard and find a large bowl, preferably one that’s unbreakable. Dump the flour and baking soda mixture in the bottom.
Measure the brown sugar and dump that in on top of the flour mixture. Do not stir.
Whip up 4 eggs in a glass with a fork until they’re frothy. Add them to your bowl.
Add all that softened butter. Just dump it in. Don’t stir.
Dump in the oatmeal, too. Don’t stir.
Think about something that really makes you mad. Now mash, knead, squeeze, pound, and pulverize all those ingredients in the bowl. Drum up every bit of aggression you can and take it out on your cookie dough. Don’t stop until everything is mashed, and squeezed, and rounded up into a big ball.
Hannah’s 1stNote: Karen says to use ungreased cookie sheets. I forgot and sprayed mine with Pam. Lisa says she used parchment paper. I think these cookies will turn out fine no matter what you do.
Put the ? cup of white sugar in a small bowl.
Form the cookie dough into small balls about an inch in diameter. Roll the balls in the white sugar and place them on the cookie sheet, 12 to a standard-size sheet. They’ll flatten out as they bake.
Bake your cookies at 350 F. for 10 to 12 minutes or until they’re golden brown on top. Cool on the cookie sheets for 2 minutes and then remove them to a wire rack to cool completely.
Hannah’s 2ndNote: Michelle and I added golden raisins to half of this batch, and chocolate chips to the other half. We thought the cookies were sweet enough without the added sugar on top, so we left that out. The dough balls flattened out by themselves as they baked. If you want to make several different types of oatmeal cookies, you can divide the dough into several parts and knead something different into each part.
Michelle’s Note: Mixing up these cookies is bound to relax you. I copied the recipe to use at Macalester for the times I study all night for a midterm and then find out that not one single thing I studied was on the test.
Yield: 12 dozen tasty cookies, depending on cookie size.
Hannah’s 3rdNote: You can cut this recipe in half, if you wish. You can also make it in an electric mixer if you’re not particularly mad at anyone.
Chapter Thirteen
The Chocolate Marshmallow Cookie Bars were cooling in the refrigerator and Hannah was just removing the last pan of Aggression Cookies from the oven when the doorbell rang. As Michelle went to answer the door, Hannah glanced at the clock on her kitchen wall. Only two hours had passed since they’d walked in the door. Mike was a lot earlier than she’d expected.
But it wasn’t Mike. Hannah was in a position to see both cats sit up and stare at the doorway. Then Moishe’s hair began to bristle, and he arched his back like the illustration of a Halloween cat. He gave a low growl, deep in his throat, and then there was a thump as Moishe, closely followed by Cuddles, jumped to the floor and made a beeline for her bedroom.
“Hello, Mother!” Hannah called out before Delores even stepped inside the door.
“Hello, dear.” Delores followed Michelle to the kitchen. “How did you know it was me?”
“Just a lucky guess,” Hannah answered, avoiding the cruel truth. It wouldn’t be good for her mother’s ego to know that Moishe disliked her so much, he’d taken his best kitty friend with him and they’d gone to hide under her bed.
“I came to see how you were,” Delores explained, glancing pointedly at the coffee pot. “What smells so divine? Don’t tell me that despite everything you’ve gone through tonight, you girls have been baking!”
“We’ve been baking,” Hannah said.
“That’s right.” Michelle went straight to the coffee pot to pour her mother a cup. “It’s like this, Mother. Some people cry when they’re upset, and some people yell and throw things. Hannah and I bake.”
“Well, that’s certainly a lot more constructive.” Delores sat down at the kitchen table and waited for Michelle to deliver her coffee. “But you still haven’t answered my first question. What smells so divine?”
