Mr. Monk Goes to the Firehouse

Acclaim for Lee Goldberg’s previous mysteries

“A nifty creative take on the tradition of great amateur sleuths with a cast of quirky characters.”

—Stuart M. Kaminsky

“A whodunit thrill ride . . . charm, mystery, and fun.”—Janet Evanovich

“A clever, twisting tale.”—Lisa Gardner

“Sly humor, endearing characters, tricky plots.”

—Jerrilyn Farmer, bestselling author of the Madeline Bean mysteries

“Elegant writing, wry humor, a suspenseful premise, [and] a fast-paced plot.”

—Aimee and David Thurlo, authors of the Ella Clah, Sister Agatha, and Lee Nez mystery series

“A riveting mystery . . . wonderful stuff!”

—Paul Bishop, two-time LAPD Detective of the Year and head of the West Los Angeles Sex Crimes and Major Assault Crimes Units, and author of Twice Dead, Chalk, and Whispers

“A swift saga with colorful homicides, glamorous locales, and clever puzzles.”

—Walter Wager, author of Telefon, Twilight’s Last Gleaming, and 58 Minutes

“Intricate plots and engaging characters . . . page-turning entertainment.”—Barbara Seranella

“Well-plotted and beautifully rendered.”

—Margaret Maron, Edgar®, Agatha, and Macavity Award-winning author of the Deborah Knott mysteries

“A devilish plot sense, sophisticated humor, and a smooth writing style . . . he’s as good as anyone writing in the genre today.”

—Donald Bain, coauthor of the Murder, She Wrote series

“Just what the doctor ordered, a sure cure after a rash of blah mysteries . . . more plot twists than a strand of DNA.”

—Elaine Viets, author of the Dead-End Job and Josie Marcus, Mystery Shopper, series

“Fast-paced, tightly constructed mysteries. . . . You’ll read them in great big gulps!”—Gregg Hurwitz

To Tony Shalhoub, the one and only Monk.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

First and foremost, I want to thank Andy Breckman for creating in Adrian Monk one of the funniest and most original detectives in television history, and for letting me tell some stories about the character, first on the TV series and now in print. It has been great fun and a real pleasure for me.

I’d also like to thank William Rabkin and the writing staff of Monk—Tom Scharpling, David Breckman, Daniel Dratch, Hy Conrad, and Joe Toplyn—for all the inspiration and laughter.

I am indebted to Richard Yokley, Kelsey Lancaster, and Dr. D. P. Lyle for their technical advice; to Gina Maccoby for her wheeling and dealing; to Martha Bushko and Kerry Donovan for their enthusiasm and editorial support; to Tod Goldberg for reading all the drafts, and, finally, to my wife, Valerie, and daughter, Madison, for putting up with me while I compulsively obsessed over this book.

I was born and raised in the Bay Area, but the native San Franciscans among you might notice I’ve taken a few geographical liberties with my depiction of the city. I hope I’ll still be welcome next time I visit.

1

Mr. Monk and the Termites

My name is Natalie Teeger. You’ve never heard of me, and that’s okay, because the fact is I’m nobody special. By that I mean I’m not famous. I haven’t done anything or accomplished something that you’d recognize me for. I’m just another anonymous shopper pushing her cart down the aisle at Wal-Mart.

Of course, I had bigger things planned for myself. When I was nine I dreamed of being one of Charlie’s Angels. It wasn’t because I wanted to fight crime or run around braless—I was looking forward to the day I’d fill out enough to wear one. Sadly, I’m still waiting. I admired the Angels because they were strong, independent, and had a sassy attitude. Most of all, I liked how those women took care of themselves.

In that way, I guess my dream came true, though not quite the way I expected. I’ve made a profession out of taking care of myself, my twelve-year-old daughter, Julie, and one other person: Adrian Monk.