Walsh looked at Steve. Then at Tracy. Then back at Steve. With a snort, he flopped himself down in the clients’ chair. “All right. She stays.”
“Fine,” Steve said. He shot Tracy a look, then settled himself behind his desk. “Go ahead, Mr. Walsh. What is it you want?”
“I want to see you about a will.”
Despite himself, Steve couldn’t keep the surprise off his face. He’d expected a personal injury, a grievance against the city, harassment by some police officer or other.
But not this.
“A will?” Steve said.
“Yes, a will,” Walsh said irritably. “What’s the matter? You’re a lawyer, you never heard of a will before?”
“I’ve heard of wills, Mr. Walsh. But I’ve never actually drawn one.”
“Who asked you?”
“No one asked me, but if that’s what you’re after, perhaps you’re in the wrong law office.”
“No, I’m in the right law office, all right.”
“How is that?”
“Because I’m talking to the lawyer. The other office I went, I didn’t get past the damn receptionist.”
“Is that so?” Steve said. “Tell me, how did you find me?”
“Saw your picture in the paper once. Looked like someone might be willing to talk to me.”
“Oh, really? And what paper was that?”
Walsh frowned. “What the hell difference does that make?”
“It doesn’t,” Steve said. “Just making conversation. All right. You want to see me about a will. Whose will?”
“Mine.”
“You want me to draw you a will?”
“I already told you I didn’t.”
“What
“Information. Legal advice.”
“About a will?”
“Yes.”
Steve frowned. “That’s not my field of expertise. I do mostly criminal work.”
“You passed the bar, didn’t you? You went to law school?”
“Yes.”
“Then you know enough to answer my questions. At least you should. If you can’t, just say so.”
“All right, Mr. Walsh, why don’t you tell me what this is about?”
“Fine. Here’s the thing. A while back, I made a will. Quite a while back, actually.”
“Leaving what to whom?”
Walsh shook his head. “That’s not important.”
“You may think it’s not,” Steve said. “But I’m a lawyer. If you want advice on a certain document-”
Walsh waved his hands. “No, no, no. You’re getting way ahead of yourself. Just listen. I’ll tell you what the problem is. Then you’ll know if these things are important or not.”
“Fine,” Steve said. “Tell it your way.”
“I will, if you’ll stop interrupting.”
Steve shot Tracy an amused look. “Sorry. Go ahead.”
“All right. I made this will. Drawn up by lawyers. Signed in their presence. Signed by witnesses. All nice and fancy and legal.”
“So?”
“Suppose I were to make a new will?”
“What about it?”
“Suppose I change my will, but I don’t want anyone to know it? Can I do that?”
Steve frowned. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”
“Exactly what I said. Suppose I change my will and no one knows it-is it legal?”
“When you say no one, you mean the heirs?”
“I mean no one. When I say no one, I mean no one. No lawyers. No witnesses. No one. Suppose I change my will myself, and nobody knows I’ve done it. Is it legal?”
Steve smiled. “That’s kind of like the tree falling in the forest and there’s no one there to hear it.”
“No, it isn’t,” Walsh said, impatiently. “I don’t mean like I dig a hole and bury it and no one ever finds it. Suppose I change my will and no one knows I’ve done it, but I make arrangements that after my death the new will would be discovered. My question is, would it invalidate the prior will and stand in its place?”
“If it was legally binding, it would. That’s what the phrase, ‘Last Will and Testament,’” means. The last will drawn by the decedent is the one that takes precedence.”
“I know that. I know that. It’s the first thing you said. If it’s legally binding. That’s the whole point. How can I make sure it’s legally binding?”
“The safest way is to have it drawn by an attorney.”
“I know that. But if I don’t. If I draw the will myself. Can the will I draw myself take precedence over the will prepared by lawyers and signed in the presence of witnesses?”
“Yes, provided it’s legally binding.”
Walsh threw up his hands. “We’re talking in circles here. If I draw the will myself, how can I make it legally binding?”
Steve sighed. “All right. First of all, you don’t type it. You make it entirely in your own handwriting. And when I say entirely, I mean entirely. That is to say, you can’t use letterhead. You start with an entirely blank sheet of paper.”
“Fine. What else?”
“You use a pen, of course, for the entire document. You date it. You state your full name. You state that you are of sound mind and body. You state specifically that you revoke all prior wills. You state that this is your last will and testament. Then you state specifically how you wish to dispose of your property. This is where it gets tricky, and this is where you need a lawyer.”
“Why?”
“Because in most wills there are specific bequests and a residuary clause. Do you know what that means?”
“Of course I do. Why is that tricky?”
“Because the value of a person’s property may fluctuate. Which puts the beneficiary of the residuary clause at risk.”
“How is that?”
“Because the specific bequests are fixed, whereas the residuary clause isn’t. For example, suppose you had a hundred thousand dollars to leave. You make five bequests of ten thousand dollars each. Those people are going to get ten thousand dollars no matter what. Your beneficiary is going to get fifty thousand dollars by the residuary clause. Say before you die you suffer business losses and your property sinks to fifty thousand. Since the ten thousand dollars bequests are fixed, those five people get ten grand each, and your principal beneficiary gets nothing.”
Walsh shook his head. “No, no. That’s not a problem. I understand all that, anyway. I don’t need a lawyer to help me with it. I make all my specific bequests, and then I say, all the rest, remainder and residue of my property I leave to blah, blah, blah. Right?”
“That’s essentially right.”
“Fine. What else do I have to do?”
“If there’s anyone you wish to disinherit, don’t just omit them. Mention them by name and state that you are disinheriting them. ‘To Cousin Fred I leave nothing because he’s a schmuck,’ or words to that effect.”
Walsh never cracked a smile. “What else?”
“When you’ve finished all that, you sign your will. That’s the last thing you do. And sign it at the very
