Nightmare

Ben gave him a long look, uncertainty written all over his face. After a long moment, he nodded. 'All right. I’ll get the monitor.'

Kendi grabbed him in a rough hug. 'Thanks!'

'Okay, okay,' Ben said breathlessly. 'Not so rough!'

Kendi instantly let go and felt his face grow hot. It had felt so natural to embrace Ben that he hadn’t even thought. But Ben’s reaction hadn’t been positive. He hadn’t even hugged back.

I guess, Kendi thought, that answers my question about him. Well, we can still be friends.

Ben, meanwhile, left the room and came back with the wristband sensor and the readout monitor. Kendi slipped the band on and went back to the others in the living room, his enthusiasm a little dampened. Ben followed. The Silent trainees were already arranging themselves on chairs and couch. Jeren handed Kendi his red spear and red dermospray.

'Let’s do this bitch,' he said.

'We meet,' Kendi said firmly, 'on my turf,' and the others nodded.

Once Ben determined that the readout unit was working properly, Kendi positioned himself on his spear, injected himself, and shut his eyes.

If it be in my best interest and in the best interest of all life everywhere, he thought, let me enter the Dream.

A few moments later, the five students were once again standing beneath the golden sun and azure sky of Kendi’s Outback. Kendi dressed them in the usual khaki explorer outfits, though he himself was shirtless, with bare feet and white shorts. Going naked or wearing a loincloth in front of a Ched-Balaar was one thing. Doing either in front of his fellow human students was quite another.

'How it work?' Kite said. 'What did you do?'

'I’m not completely sure,' Kendi admitted. 'It happened when I was trying to find Dorna.' Something occurred to him, and he turned to face her. Her dark hair curled out from under her pith helmet. 'How did you do that?'

'Do what?' she asked.

'Make it seem like you’re in two places at once. Is it like the way you can interfere with people finding you?'

She shook her head. 'I don’t know what you mean.'

'Whenever I tried to find you in the hide and seek game,' Kendi said, 'it felt like you were in two or three different places. I meant to ask you about it, but then the falcon showed up and I forgot.'

'I don’t do any such thing,' Dorna said. 'Really. Maybe you’re just misreading, or you’re sensing people who have similar thoughts to mine. I mean, you’ve only been using the Dream for a week.'

Kendi’s first thought was that Dorna was lying. But here in the Dream, lies were impossible.

'Yeah, okay,' he said. 'Let me try it again.'

He closed his eyes and tried to recall the sensation of being pulled in two directions at once. It should have been hard-they weren’t playing the game anymore and Dorna was standing right beside him. But it turned out be easy. A few seconds later, a high scream shrilled on the wind, and the small falcon circled overhead. Kendi opened his eyes.

'Is that you?' Willa looked up, shading her eyes.

'Yeah. I know she’s there, but I can’t tell what she’s thinking. Not right now.'

'She?' Kite said.

Kendi nodded. 'The falcon’s a female. I don’t know why. She just is.'

An internal voice poked at him. Is it because you like men? But Kendi pushed the thought away. The falcon was who she was, and that was all. He pursed his lips and whistled. The falcon instantly dove for the ground. Kendi held up an arm and she landed, making a surprisingly light, feathery bundle. The moment she touched him, he felt himself both standing on the ground and perched on his own arm. Memories of rushing air and hot sun coursed through him and he staggered a little. The falcon flapped her wings to keep her balance until the vertigo passed. Her talons were long and sharp, but they didn’t do the least bit of injury to Kendi’s arm.

Why should she? he thought. She’s me.

The others moved closer to examine the falcon and made impressed-sounding noises.

'She’s you?' Willa said.

'That’s what it feels like,' Kendi said.

'You’re schizo,' Jeren put in. 'Shit, you’ve split your mind into pieces.'

'I’m not crazy,' Kendi said defensively. 'What the hell kind of remark is that?'

Jeren shrugged. 'I just call it like I see it.'

Ripples washed through the Outback and Kendi spun around. The falcon flapped again. Approaching them was a man. Kendi automatically drew back. It was the dark man, the one who had killed Vera Cheel. He was coming to get-

'Hi!' the man called. 'Can I approach? Is everything here okay?'

It wasn’t the dark man. This man was tall and blond and he wore blue overalls. A belt of tools hung around his waist and he had large, callused hands. Kendi remembered him. It was the man whose turf Kendi had stumbled onto during the game a while ago.

'We’re okay,' Kite said. 'Come over. Who’re you?'

'Name’s Buck,' he replied. 'My turf’s just over that way and I felt something weird, right? So I thought I’d come over and make sure everyone was okay.'

'We’re fine,' Jeren said. There was a strange note in his voice that Kendi couldn’t identify.

'Okay. Good.' Buck stuck his hands in his pockets. 'Nice bird.'

'Thanks.' Kendi stroked the falcon’s feathers and she cheeped once at him. 'I just got her.'

'She’s a part of you, hey?'

'I guess.' Kendi paused. 'How did you know that?'

Buck shrugged. 'I can feel it. How come she takes a falcon form?'

'I don’t know,' Kendi admitted. 'I’m new to this.'

'You aren’t a Child of Irfan, are you?' Jeren said evenly. It was more a statement than a question.

'Nope. I’m independent. Do some contract work when I can get it, right? Look, kid, you’ve got something new here, something I don’t think anyone’s seen in the Dream, and I’ll bet there’s a lot more you can do with this.'

'Like what?' Kendi asked.

'Well, this is a kind of shapeshifting, for one thing.' Buck scuffed at the ground with his work boot. 'A part of your mind’s taken another shape in the Dream, yeah? Unless you’re a falcon in the solid world and the human I’m talking to is the little splinter.'

Kite snorted.

'Right,' Kendi said with a smile. 'So?'

'So what if your animal friend-animal self-here can take on other shapes? Other animals.'

Kite whistled. Willa twisted a lock of hair and sat down on a rock. Kendi blinked at Buck, suddenly remembering the dream he had had when the camel changed into a crocodile. Mother Ara had said the realistic dreams were a partial entry into the Dream itself. Had he already been doing this?

'I wouldn’t even know how to start,' Kendi said at last. 'I mean, I just today got-'

'It’d be easy, yeah?' Buck interrupted. 'You want something else-a grizzly or a tiger.'

'Or a drop bear,' Dorna put in.

'Uh, how about something smaller?' Willa said nervously. 'Maybe a kangaroo. I saw a picture of one once. They come from Australia, don’t they?'

'So you imagine it happening,' Buck continued. 'Just like you imagine people wearing the clothes you want or your turf being whatever shape it takes. Which reminds me, kid-why don’t you turn the sun down a little? I’m sweating my ass off, yeah?'

'That’s the Outback,' Kendi said. 'Love it or leave it. How do you know so much about shapeshifting?'

'I have friends who do it,' Buck replied. 'You gonna try it or what?'

'What’s your interest in this?' Jeren demanded.

Buck shrugged. 'Just helping out. You don’t want me around, I’ll leave, right?'