Nightmare

'No, stay.' Kendi leveled Jeren a withering glare. 'He’s just-just overprotective. Let me try this.'

Before anyone could say another word, Kendi closed his eyes. The falcon on his arm shifted a bit and he could feel the talons gripping his arm. A tiger? No, he decided. Better something that won’t attack. Koala bear? Cute, but more likely to bite than any tiger. Kangaroo then. Kendi imagined the animal-long legs, long tail, pouch. The falcon would become a kangaroo and it would become a kangaroo now.

A sudden heavy weight dragged his arm down and there was heavy thud on the ground beside him. Kendi’s eyes popped open. He found himself looking at a kangaroo sprawled on the sandy soil. She quickly scrambled to her feet and looked at him with reproachful brown eyes.

'I did it,' Kendi whispered. 'All life, I did it!'

A great splash ripped through the Dream. The Outback wavered, distorted like a bad hologram. Kendi staggered, almost knocked flat. The kangaroo made an angry whuffing noise.

'What the fuck?' Jeren yelped. Standing next to him was an old woman. With a flash of recognition, Kendi remembered her. He had stumbled into her flower garden by accident and she had animated the plants to drive him out.

'What are you little shits up to?' she demanded. Her iron-gray hair stood out like an angry dandelion. 'You’re sending ripples through the entire Dream. My gladiolas will never be the same.'

Kendi recovered himself enough to be angry. This was his turf, and Ara had made it very clear to him that a Silent’s turf was inviolate. Appearing in the middle of Kendi’s turf uninvited and unannounced was the height of rudeness. 'Who the hell do you think you are?' he snarled.

'The woman’s whose garden you’re fucking up, that’s who,' the woman grumbled. 'And my name’s Zelda. Jesus, boy-you’ve got to learn some control.'

'And you’ve got to learn some manners.'

'Look, boy, do you want all your neighbors mad at you or not?' Zelda said.

'I don’t give a shit what you-'

'You better give a shit,' Zelda snapped. 'Otherwise you’re going to have a hundred Silent in all directions pretty pissed at you. That what you want?'

'No,' Kendi said, then hated himself for agreeing with her. 'Look, what do you-'

'Just learn to change that …that thing-' she gestured sharply at the kangaroo '- more quietly. Jesus.'

'It’s not a thing,' Kite said. 'It’s part of Kendi.'

'Don’t tell her that,' Kendi said sharply.

'You just have to make the change a little smoother,' Zelda said in a quieter voice. 'Here, let me show you.' She picked up a stone. Kendi felt her hands touching it as if she were touching him instead. Before he could protest, she closed her hand around it. When she opened it, she was holding a bright yellow marigold. Kendi stared. He hadn’t felt the change, even though she had effectively made it in his own mind.

'Wow,' Dorna whistled.

'She’s good,' Buck said.

'How did you do that?' Kendi asked, interested despite his earlier anger.

'Practice,' she said. 'And a few lessons. Here, let me show you. I’ll even do it for free so you’ll quit rippling my garden. Close your eyes, boy, and listen to what I say.'

Ben sat on the living room floor. Four bodies lay on chairs and sofa, and a fifth stood propped on a spear in the corner. All of them were still as breathing statutes. Red dermosprays lay scattered across the floor. Ben hated this. The quiet bodies in the room underscored the fact that Ben himself would never enter the Dream.

He sighed and checked Kendi’s readout. It was singularly unhelpful. Sure, it said that everything was fine with Kendi, but it didn’t tell him what Kendi was doing. The familiar desire-need-to enter the Dream swept over Ben. Not for the first time he wondered what it was that prevented him. Every test showed he had the genes for Silence, but for some reason he had never expressed the ability. He had never heard strange whispers or voices. He had never woken up from a dream so vivid that he would have sworn it was real. He had never felt a jolt when touching a Silent. Not once. He knew it disappointed his mother, though she had never said so, or even hinted it. He knew his aunt, uncle, and cousins thought he was sub-human, because they had said so.

Since he couldn’t do anything his Silent family did, Ben was therefore careful to do those activities none of them could do. So far, he was the family expert in computers and he was the only one who lifted weights. Indeed, he had never known his family to engage in any kind of exercise whatsoever. That was fine with Ben. If he couldn’t take pride in his mind, then he would damn well take pride in his body. And the results of a year’s worth of labor showed. Mom now had to buy him shirts with broader shoulders and looser sleeves. Firm muscle rippled across his abdomen, and his legs were thick and powerful.

He wondered if Kendi had noticed.

Ben got up and walked over to Kendi. The young man was several centimeters taller than Ben, and thinner. His build was more whipcord, and he was damned handsome.

Ben stared at Kendi, uncertain. Why did he feel this way? When Kendi had hugged him, it had felt good. Hell, it had felt great. Better than a simple, friendly hug should have made him feel. It was confusing. Did he like Kendi as more than a friend? Ben shook his head. There were lots of guys who liked-loved- other men. No big deal there. It was just that Ben had never considered himself one of them.

'God, I’ve had girlfriends,' he said aloud.

But, he thought, none for more than a few weeks. Some of the other guys at school talked about nothing but girls, talked as if they thought about girls constantly, or at least daily. Ben never had. This had never worried him. He hadn’t even really thought about it. Not until he had met Kendi.

Kendi remained still as a statue, hands cupped over his groin, one leg propped up on the red spear. The end was sharp and Ben knew Kendi had to replace the rubber tip every so often. Ben had once asked Kendi why he didn’t simply blunt the end, and Kendi had given him a blank look.

'The Real People don’t do it that way,' he said.

Ben put a hand in front of Kendi’s face and felt Kendi’s breath warm and regular on his palm. A shiver went through him. He touched Kendi’s shoulder with a hesitant hand and swallowed. He wanted to grab Kendi up in a hard, crushing embrace, hold onto him for hours, or days. After a moment, Ben put both arms around him and leaned his head against Kendi’s chest.

Just to see, he thought, what it feels like.

It felt empty. Kendi wasn’t hugging him back. Feeling foolish, Ben released him, careful not to knock him over, though he doubted even that would wake him. The more experienced Silent could be jerked out of the Dream through physical stimuli such as a pain or a sudden jolt, but novices usually had to concentrate so hard just to attain the necessary trance that they completely ignored outside stimuli.

A flicker of movement caught the corner of Ben’s eye and he spun around. Dorna was sitting up in her chair. She cracked her knuckles. Ben’s stomach twisted sickeningly. Had he seen her hugging Kendi?

'Hey, Dorna,' Ben said, keeping his voice steady. 'What’s-'

'I have control,' she said in a strangely deep voice. 'Well fuck me with a banana.'

Ben blinked. 'What?'

'About goddam time, too.' Dorna got up and looked around the room. 'Well, lover-boy, you can just tell your goody-good friends that I’m keeping control. They want to do something, they’re gonna have to go through me.'

'You?' Ben echoed, still confused. 'I don’t understand.'

Dorna laughed, a harsh, male sound. 'That’s because you’re stupid. Now this dude-' she crossed the room to where Kendi stood '-this dude’s noticed some stuff. Fucking prick.' And she backhanded him hard across the face.

'Hey!' Ben grabbed her wrist. 'What the hell are you doing?'

The stomach punch landed before Ben could react. Air rushed out of his lungs and he doubled over. Not for nothing had he been strengthening his abdominal muscles, however, and he recovered quickly. Without thinking he launched himself forward and rammed a shoulder into Dorna. She staggered back. Ben grabbed her arm and tried to spin her around so he could shove her against the wall, but she twisted away from him. Another punch came at his