He kissed me in the elevator when it reached his floor.
One smal, sweet kiss, lips closed. A hand on my waist. A
gentle squeeze. When the door started to close, he
laughed and hopped off through. He watched me as it
shut, until the last thing I saw was his smile through the
crack.
When I got home, my phone rang. It wasn't the expected
text from Eric relating the details of the date, though I had
left him a list of topics I wanted essays on. It was the other
man in my life, the one I couldn't throw away and didn't
want to keep.
'I'm downstairs. I just wanted to tel you, I'm coming up.'
'Oh, no, you're not.' I cradled the phone against my
shoulder and looked in the mirror. I'd been unbuttoning my
shirt but now I stopped. 'I'l meet you at the Mocha in
fifteen minutes.'
'No way!'
'Way,' I said firmly.
Silence as neither of us gave in. Wel, silence as I waited
Silence as neither of us gave in. Wel, silence as I waited
for him to refuse so I could hang up. Austin sighed, finaly.
'Fine. I'l meet you there.'
I didn't change my clothes. I wanted him to see me al
dressed up and wonder why. Yes, it was bitchy. Yes, it
was unnecessary. But I was hardly going to toss on a pair
of grungy sweatpants and a pair of sneakers to greet him.
It didn't matter that Austin had already seen me at my
worst.
You might imagine the audience for caffeine would
diminish after nine at night, but not in the Mocha. People
hunched over their refilable mugs, mainlining high-
powered flavored coffees and clutching at specialty drinks
as they chatted in smal groups and played board games.
Soft music, something indie and folksy that would make
my ears bleed if I paid too much attention to it, drifted out
of the speakers.
I spotted Austin right away. His faded denim stood out
from the rest of the skinny jeans and flat-ironed-hair boys,
and he didn't wear a speck of guyliner. His hair had grown
long enough now to pul back in a ponytail at the nape of
his neck. He was carrying two big cups.
his neck. He was carrying two big cups.
When he saw me, his face lit up, so much the way it used
to that my heart hurt. I swalowed hard against the rush of
memories threatening to topple me right then and there. He
handed me a mug and gestured toward a love seat set
toward the back of the shop.
'Sit?'
He asked, didn't tel, so I nodded. 'Sure.'
I had time to compare first-date awkwardnesses as he