really, it's not the way men work. His eye will be on the prize, and that prize may not necessarily be you if he isn't up where he wants to be in life. It's impossible for us to focus on the two we're just not that gifted, sorry.
Mind you, a man doesn't have to make a lot of money right now; as long as he sees his dreams being realized the title is clear to him, his position is leading him in the direction of the place where he wants to be, and he knows the money will come then he can rest a little easier, recognizing that he's on the verge of becoming the man he wants to be. The way you can help him get there is to help him focus on his dream, see the vision, and implement his plan. If you can see yourself in that plan (you can get a clearer sense of this in my chapter The Five Questions Every Woman Should Ask Before She Gets in Too Deep), then latch on to it. Because when he reaches the level of success he's hoping to reach, he'll be a better, happier man for it and you will be happy, too.
2
Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman's love it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you've acted out, no matter what crazy thing you've done, no matter the time or demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just aren't any more words left to say, encourage you when you're at rock bottom and think there just isn't any way out, hold you in her arms when you're sick, and laugh with you when you're up. And if you're her man and that woman loves you I mean really loves you? she will shine you up when you're dusty, encourage you when you're down, defend you even when she's not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even when you're not saying anything worth listening to. And no matter what you do, no matter how many times her friends say you're no good, no matter how many times you slam the door on the relationship, she will give you her very best and then some, and keep right on trying to win over your heart, even when you act like everything she's done to convince you she's The One just isn't good enough.
That's a woman's love it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance.
And this is exactly how you all expect us men to love you in return. Ask any woman what kind of love she wants from a man, and it will sound something like this: I want him to be humble and smart, fun and romantic, sensitive and gentle, and, above all, supportive. I want him to look in my eyes and tell me I'm beautiful and that I complete him. I want a man who is vulnerable enough to cry when he's hurting, who will introduce me to his mother with a smile on his face, who loves children and animals, and who is willing to change diapers and wash dishes and do it all without me having to ask. And if he has a nice body and a lot of money and expensive shoes without scuffs, that would be great, too. Amen.
Well, I'm here to tell you that expecting that kind of love that perfection from a man is unrealistic. That's right, I said it it's not gonna happen, no way, no how. Because a man's love isn't like a woman's love.
Don't get it confused, now I'm not saying that we're not capable of loving. I'm just saying that a man's love is different much more simple, direct, and probably a little harder to come by. I'll tell you this much: a man who is in love with you is probably not going to call you every half hour and give you an update on how much more he loves you at 5:30 P. M. than he did at 5:00 P. M.; he's not going to sit around stroking your hair and wiping your brow with cold compresses while you sip hot tea and nurse yourself back to health.
His love is still love, though.
It's just different from the love that women give and, in a lot of cases, want.
I argue that if you simply recognize how, exactly, a man loves, you might.nd that the man standing in front of you is, indeed, giving you his all and then some. How do you know when a man loves you? Simple: he will do each of the following three things.
If your man loves you, he's willing to tell anybody and everybody, Look, man, this is my woman or this is my girl, my baby's mama, or my lady. In other words, you will have a title an of.cial one that far extends beyond this is my friend, or this is____________________ (insert your name here). That's because a man who has placed you in the most special part of his heart the man who truly has feelings for you will give you a title. That title is his way of letting everyone within the sound of his voice know that he's proud of being with you, and that he has plans for you. He sees himself in a long-term, committed relationship with you, and he's professing it for all to hear because he's serious about this thing it may be the beginning of something special.
A man who professes you as his own is also saying in not so many words that he's claiming you that you are his. Now he's put everyone on notice. Any man who hears another man say, this is my lady, knows that whatever games/tricks/plans/ schemes he may have had in mind for the pretty, sexy lady standing in front of him need to be shelved until the next single woman comes in the room, because another man has professed out loud that this one is mine and she's not available for anything you were plotting and planning. It's a special signal we men all recognize and respect as the universal code for offlimits.
If he introduces you as his friend, or by your name, have no doubt that's all you are. He doesn't think any more of you than that. In your heart of hearts, ladies, you all know this. Indeed, when I explained this to a friend of mine, she just laughed and laughed because she could identify with it saw it up close at an annual Christmas dinner she's been attending with her family and some close friends for going on twelve years. One guy, she said, would show up every year with a new chick each one prettier than the last and a new story about his job or his vacation or his new business venture or whatever. While the stories and the women kept changing, the one thing that remained constant was this: none of those women ever got introduced as his girlfriend or lady. They were always, without hesitation, presented by their name. Period. And then he would spend the rest of the night cuddling a hard drink and catching up with old friends and colleagues, leaving her to sit at the table by herself, looking out of place and ridiculous in her fancy dress, trying her best to.t in. Everyone at the table pretty much knew that the moment the couple hit the door and went on their way, none of the regular party attendees would ever see her with him again.
Then one recent Christmas party, he showed up with a new woman his.ngers all intertwined with hers, both of them smiling like Cheshire cats. He introduced her as his lady, and instantly, everyone knew what was up. But it wasn't just because of the title he'd assigned; it was because of the actions behind it. He was holding her hand, looking directly at her when he talked to her, introducing her around to everyone from the business folks to his really good friends running to the bar to get drinks for her, and dancing with her like he didn't want the night to end. And when everyone left that evening, they all knew they'd be seeing that woman again,.ngers intertwined with the hitherto eternal playboy bachelor, one who changed women as often as Diana Ross changes costumes at a concert.
And wouldn't you know it? When they came back to that same function the next year, she had a new title:.ancTe. For sure, she was in this man's plans.
So, if you've been dating a guy for at least ninety days and you've never met his mother, you don't go to church together, you haven't been around his family or his friends, and he took you to a networking/job/social function and introduced you by your name, then you're not in his plans he doesn't see you in his future. But the minute he assigns a title the moment he lays claim to you in front of people who mean something to him in his life, whether it's his boy, his sister, or his boss that's the minute you know your man is making a statement. He is professing his intentions for you and professing them to the people who need to know that information. A profession is key you will know if a man is serious about you once he claims you.
Once we've claimed you, and you've returned the honor, we're going to start bringing home the bacon. Simply put, a man who loves you will bring that money home to make sure that you and the kids have what you all need. That is our role our purpose. Society has told us men for millennium that our primary function is to make sure our families are set whether we're alive or dead, the people we love need want for nothing. This is the very core of manhood to be the provider. That's what it's all about. (Okay, there are a few other things; for example, how well you're endowed and I'm not talking.nancially and how well can you provide now, I am talking.nancially.) If a man is in a position of being questioned about whether he's able to provide,.nancially and otherwise, for the ones he loves, you might as well drop-kick his ego into an early grave. The more he can provide for his woman and his kids, the
