worried about me,” he snapped. “They think I’m destined to be a warrior!”
“Do you trust them?”
Jaypaw remembered the impenetrable mist that had hidden the true feelings of the two warriors. “I guess not,” he mewed hesitantly.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” he murmured. He could sense something else inside her, affection tinged with sorrow. Concentrating hard, he tracked the feeling, following it like a shimmering stream: a flame-colored cat, green eyes clouded with grief . . . it was Firestar! This StarClan cat was in love with the ThunderClan leader! But how could that be? Spottedleaf had left the forest long ago, and Firestar had another mate. Jaypaw searched further. There was more, he knew, some knowledge obscured by shadows, something he could not name. . . .
“You have a remarkable gift,” she mewed. Her eyes were wary, as though she’d felt him probing her mind. “You can see
what no other cat sees. You can go where even StarClan cannot. You must use this power for the good of your Clan.”
“But how?” Jaypaw asked.
“You must become a medicine cat,” Spottedleaf meowed.
He didn’t want to hear that. He wanted to believe Tigerstar and Hawkfrost.
“I want to be a warrior!”
“But you have a gift!”
“Seeing in dreams? That’s not a gift. The rest of the Clan see all the time!”
“But they don’t see what you do. They can’t go where you go.”
“So I can visit StarClan! Big deal!”
“It
“But where does it get me?” Jaypaw argued. “The rest of my Clan think I’m useless.”
“They don’t know the power that you have.”
“Power?” Jaypaw echoed.
Spottedleaf was trembling now. “Jaypaw, you have power enough to shape the destiny of your entire Clan.”
Jaypaw stared at her. “But I want to be a warrior!”
“Accept your destiny!”
“It’s not fair!”
“I know.” The medicine cat’s voice suddenly grew soft. She brushed his muzzle with her tail, silencing him. Jaypaw felt weariness spread through his limbs, dragging him toward sleep. “Your gift is not a burden,” she whispered. “But you
must be brave, because it has more power than the sharpest claw. . . .”
Jaypaw tried to fight the sleepiness. There were still questions he wanted answered. “No,” he complained weakly as his legs buckled beneath him.
Jaypaw opened his eyes. The world was black once more, and his body ached with cold. He was lying beside the Moonpool. Slowly he got to his paws and stretched. The image of StarClan’s hunting grounds was still fresh in his mind as he followed the path out of the hollow.
When he reached the top, Jaypaw glanced over his shoulder.
The hollow was filled with starlight—he knew it as surely as if he could see it. The Moonpool was radiant beneath the brilliant light, and every rock and stone shone like crystal.
The whispering that had followed him down to the Moonpool rose again until the voices swirled around him like a relentless wind.
And in that instant, he realized that however many moons he searched, and however far he ran, he would never escape what he had known all along.
Chapter 17
She stretched and crept out of her nest. Her body ached, but the bruises and scratches had been worth it to see the ShadowClan warriors fleeing across the border like terrified rats. She glanced at Leafpool, who was still asleep. The medicine cat’s breath billowed in the freezing air. Careful not to disturb her, Hollypaw slipped out of the den. The brambles at the entrance were stiff with ice, and crackled as she nosed her way out.
The clearing was empty. Even the forest was silent, as though the cold had frozen every leaf, and the dawn sky glowed pink behind the frost-whitened branches at the top of the hollow. She looked hopefully toward the fresh-kill pile.
It was empty. The sudden cold had already driven most of the prey deep into their burrows, and the cats would have to wait until hunger drew them out into the open once more.
Perhaps she could find something outside the camp.
Ferncloud and her kits would need food once the sun rose.
She padded across the clearing and out through the thorn barrier.
Brook paced outside the entrance, her thick fur sparkling with frost. She jerked her head around when she heard Hollypaw’s pawsteps.
“You’re awake early.”
“I couldn’t sleep.” Hollypaw yawned. “Has the dawn patrol left yet?”
“Not yet.”
“I thought I could find some prey for Ferncloud,” Hollypaw explained.
Brook gazed at her curiously. “That’s kind, but won’t Leafpool need you this morning?”
Hollypaw sighed.
“Such a troubled sigh for one so young,” Brook meowed, her gray eyes softening with concern.
“Leafpool would probably get on better without me,”
Hollypaw muttered.
“Surely not,” Brook meowed. “She couldn’t have managed to treat everyone without your help yesterday.”
“She almost had to,” Hollypaw confessed. “I was so excited after the battle, I completely forgot that I was a medicine cat apprentice. And then when I tried to help, it was awful. I had
to make my Clanmates swallow foul-tasting leaves. And the balms seemed only to make the wounds sting more. It didn’t feel like I was helping at all.” She sat down miserably. “I thought that I could serve my Clanmates best as a medicine cat. That’s why I asked to be Leafpool’s apprentice. She’s so important to the Clan.”
“You want to be important?” Brook queried.
Hollypaw thought for a moment. It was more complicated than that. “Everyone respects Leafpool and listens to what she says.”
“But is being listened to and respected the same as serving your Clan?”
Hollypaw glanced up at the mountain cat. Brook’s eyes were round with sympathy. “I guess not,” she mewed. “I just thought it would be the best way to help the Clan.”
“And now you think differently?”
