The Sight

“I don’t think I can help the Clan at all as a medicine cat,”

Hollypaw mewed quietly. “I can’t remember the names of the herbs. I feel more excited about fighting ShadowClan than fighting sickness. And I’d rather hunt for mice than borage or tansy.” Frustration welled inside her. “It’s all gone wrong! No cat will ever respect me now.”

Brook ran her the tip of her tail down Hollypaw’s back.

“Cats win respect from their Clanmates by being loyal and brave, not holding important positions,” she meowed. “Did you think Graystripe less important than Brambleclaw when you fought beside him yesterday? Or Lionpaw less important than Leafpool when he helped you drive off that ShadowClan tom?”

Hollypaw shook her head.

“It is hard for someone so young to make such big choices,” the mountain cat went on. “When I was with the Tribe of Rushing Water, there were no such choices. All duties were divided into hunting or guarding. Prey-hunters like me were thin and lithe; guards were stocky and strong.

The decision was made from birth which duty a cat would perform best.”

Hollypaw was shocked. “You couldn’t choose at all?”

“It wasn’t impossible for a cave-guard to be a prey-hunter or a prey-hunter to be a cave-guard, but generally it was a good way to make sure each cat made the best use of the strengths they were born with.”

“I wasn’t born with a head for herbs.” Hollypaw sighed.

“Think of your strengths, not your weaknesses,” Brook urged her. “As a Clan cat, you have the freedom to shape your own destiny, which Tribe cats never have. Use that freedom wisely.”

Hollypaw remembered her battle training with Cinderpaw. Every move had come so naturally. Even Cloudtail had been impressed. And in the battle she had known instinctively what she was doing when she had knocked that ShadowClan warrior’s paws from under him. “I can fight,”

she mewed, flexing her claws.

“You have warrior strengths,” Brook agreed. “What better way to serve your Clan than by being the best warrior you can?”

Hollypaw’s heart felt lighter than it had for days.

“Don’t forget, though, you will have to tell Leafpool.”

Hollypaw sagged a little. “Of course.” She looked down at her paws. “She’ll think I’m letting her down.”

“Leafpool is wise enough to see where your gifts lie,”

Brook meowed. “She will only think you courageous for speaking up now, rather than struggling on out of pride or stubbornness.”

“Do you think so?”

“You will be doing what is best for your Clan. Leafpool will know that.”

The sound of pawsteps inside the thorn barrier warned that the dawn patrol was preparing to leave. Hollypaw blinked gratefully at Brook. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Brook dipped her head and turned back to watch the forest. Hollypaw ducked through the thorn barrier just in time to avoid being swept aside by Graystripe, Sandstorm, and Honeypaw as they raced out. She knew what she had to do.

She would become a regular apprentice like Lionpaw and Jaypaw, and work hard to serve her Clan as a warrior.

But first she had to tell Leafpool.

Stiffening her shoulders, Hollypaw nosed her way into the medicine den.

Leafpool was smearing honey onto a leaf. “Let’s hope this freezing weather breaks soon,” she muttered. “Longtail and Icekit both have sore throats.”

Hollypaw suddenly felt as if there were a thorn stuck in her chest. She was turning away from something she had set her heart on because she was not good enough. Sadness welled inside her. Should she be giving up so easily?

“What’s wrong, Hollypaw?” Leafpool looked up. “You look as though you’ve just lost our entire supply of poppy seeds!”

Then her face grew serious. “You haven’t, have you?”

Hollypaw shook her head. “No. But I have something very important to tell you.” She forced herself to look her mentor in the eyes. “I can’t be a medicine cat apprentice anymore,”

she mewed.

Leafpool blinked. “Why not?”

“I have to choose my destiny based on my strengths,”

Hollypaw meowed. “I’m just no good at being a medicine cat.

You must know that.”

“You are clever and hardworking. You can learn.”

“But it doesn’t feel right,” Hollypaw tried to explain. She tipped her head to one side. “Can you understand?”

“You feel like a fish swimming upstream?” Leafpool suggested.

“Exactly.” Hollypaw nodded, her heart aching. “If I change direction and swim with the current, I will swim so much faster.”

“So you want to train as a warrior instead.”

“I think it will be better for the Clan if I do.”

Leafpool’s eyes clouded with sorrow. “I feel as though I’ve let you down.”

“No!” Hollypaw felt a stab of guilt. “You’ve been patient and kind. It’s just not right for me.”

“You would have been a good medicine cat.” Leafpool flicked her tail. “But I see that you want to be the best at whatever you do.”

“I have to be, for the sake of my Clan.”

Leafpool stepped forward and brushed Hollypaw’s cheek with her muzzle. “You will make a wonderful warrior, Hollypaw,” she purred. “You have a warrior’s spirit—I have seen you being noble and loyal and brave, and now I see you sacrificing your ambition for the good of the Clan.” Her eyes shone. “I couldn’t be more proud of you.”

Leafpool’s words soothed the grief that pricked like a hedgehog at Hollypaw’s heart. “I must go and tell Firestar so he can find me a new mentor.”

“There’s no rush,” Leafpool cautioned. “You might want to think about it some more.”

“I’ve thought about it lots,” Hollypaw insisted. “I want to sort it out as soon as I can.”

“I’ll come with you,” Leafpool offered.

“Thank you.” The thought of facing Firestar made her paws itch. What if he thought she was being fickle?

Together they padded across the frosty clearing. Leafpool let Hollypaw climb the rockfall first and followed her up.

Hollypaw announced her arrival at the den entrance with a nervous mew.

“Come in.”

Hollypaw stepped into the cave. The dawn light seeped in behind her, lighting the gloom. Sandstorm was grooming Firestar’s ears. She looked up as Hollypaw and Leafpool entered.

Firestar drew himself into a sitting position. “How is Longtail’s throat?” he asked.

“It’s not whitecough,” Leafpool reported. “Mousefur insists it’s just sore from his snoring.”

Firestar turned to Hollypaw. “What is it?” His green eyes were round with concern. “You look worried.”

Hollypaw shifted her weight from paw to paw. What if she was breaking the warrior code in some way? Surely Leafpool would have said something? She took a short, sharp breath.

She had to follow her instinct. The Clan needed a medicine cat they could rely on, and she knew that wasn’t her.

“I want to become a warrior apprentice,” she blurted. “I don’t think I’m cut out to be a medicine cat.”

“And you think you’d make a better warrior,” Firestar guessed, narrowing his eyes.

“I know I would!”

Firestar looked at Leafpool. “Do you think she’s right?”

“I believe that this is what she really wants.” Leafpool stroked Hollypaw’s flank with her tail. “She’s worked