“I think we’d better go see the Captain, sir,” the steward said.
“I hardly think that will be necessary,” Max said. “We’ve seen the Captain. And, when you’ve seen one Captain, you’ve seen them all.”
“I’ll have to insist,” the steward said.
“In that case…”
The steward led the way, and Max, 99 and Fang followed.
“Vot you doink in mine staderoom?” Dr. Halmar Halmar called after them.
Max stopped. “Incidentally,” he said, “how is it that your first name and your last name are the same?”
“Mine parents studdered,” Dr. Halmar Halmar replied. “But is even worse. Full name is Halmar J. Halmar.”
“Oh? Really? What does the ‘J.’ stand for?”
“Halmar.”
“I find that difficult to believe,” Max said.
Dr. Halmar Halmar nodded sadly. “Is true. Middle name is spelled J-h-a-l-m-a-r. The ‘J’ is silent.”
“That is believable,” Max said, moving on.
When Max caught up with the others, 99 said, “Max, I’m worried. What do you think the Captain will do? He warned us not to get caught again.”
“He may not recognize us,” Max said. “We’re wearing these white coats this time.”
“I don’t think we can depend on that, Max. Maybe we better tell him who we really are.”
“99-we can’t do that! Rule 301 says that a secret agent must never reveal his identity.”
“Rorff!”
“It does so include dogs,” Max snapped. “Remember, Fang, that you’re a secret agent first and a dog second.”
“But, Max,” 99 said, “we could tell the Captain, couldn’t we? He wouldn’t tell.”
“99, are you one-hundred per cent sure that the Captain is really the Captain? For all we know, he may be the diabolical Dr. X.”
“Oh, Max! The Captain?”
“Remember, 99-he didn’t know port from starboard. Does that sound like a ship’s captain to you?”
“Well…”
“Of course, it isn’t absolute proof that he isn’t a captain,” Max admitted. “Maybe he just wasn’t listening when they took port and starboard in captain school. But… we can’t take any chances. We have to continue to let him think that we’re a trio of plain ordinary looters.”
“All right, Max.”
They reached the Captain’s door. The steward knocked.
“Yes, yes, come in,” a voice answered.
The steward opened the door and ushered Max, 99 and Fang inside, “Looters again, sir,” he said.
The Captain, who was seated at his desk, glared at them. “Another bunch, eh?” he said.
“This is the same three, Captain,” the steward said.
“Oh. I didn’t recognize them in those white coats.” He got to his feet. “Steward, you may go.”
“Yes, sir.”
The steward departed.
The Captain smiled. “Hi, again,” he said “How’s business?”
“Captain, we can explain this,” Max said, “You see-”
“Just a minute,” the Captain broke in. I’m listening for the bells. My watch stopped.”
“The bells?” Max said.
“Yes. The ship’s bells. They ring the time.”
Max looked at his watch. “The time is exactly-”
“Don’t tell me! Don’t tell me!” the Captain said sharply. “I’m trying to learn how to tell time by bells!”
“Oh… sorry.”
A moment later, the bells rang. The Captain cocked his head, listening. When the bells stopped, he smiled again, pleased. “Exactly midnight,” he announced, setting his watch.
“Uh… Captain… it’s ten in the morning,” Max said.
“Oh, darn!”
“Well, you were close-only ten hours off,” Max said.
“Yes, I’m improving,” the Captain said drearily, sitting down again. “Yesterday, I was thirty-four hours off.”
“I don’t think that’s possible, Captain. There are only twenty-four hours in a day.”
“It wasn’t my fault,” the Captain explained. “They rang an extra bell.”
“Oh.”
The Captain scowled at them “So, you let that nosy steward catch you again, eh?”
“We’re sorry,” Max said. “We didn’t plan it that way.”
“That’s no excuse.”
“Well then, let’s say that we did plan it that way, and it worked out perfectly,” Max said.
“That’s better,” the Captain smiled. But then the frown reappeared. “It doesn’t solve my problem, though,” he said. “I’m supposed to do something when looters are caught. And, for the life of me, I can’t remember what it is. Frankly, I wasn’t listening when we took what-to-do-with-looters in captain school.”
“I have a suggestion,” Max said. “Why don’t you put us on probation?”
“All three of you?” the Captain said. “Would all three of you fit on a mushroom?”
“No, no, Captain. Putting us on probation means releasing us and giving us a warning that if we ever get caught again you’ll send a wire to the captain school and ask them what it was you missed in the what-to-do-with- looters class.”
“I’ll do that,” the Captain decided. “Consider yourselves released.”
Max, 99 and Fang turned to go.
The Captain stared at the backs of their white coats. “My regards to the folks at Acme Air-Conditioning Repair,” he said.
When they reached the corridor again, 99 said, “Max, that was too close for comfort. We don’t dare get caught again. We’ll have to give up searching staterooms.”
“Nonsense,” Max said “Third time is a charm. And the next time will be the third time. It’s so safe, we could bungle it and still not get caught.’
“I hope you’re right, Max. I shudder to think what the Captain will do the next time we troop in there behind that steward.”
“That couldn’t possibly happen, 99. This time, we’re going to make sure that that steward is busy somewhere else. I made a note of his number-he’s Steward 76. I’m going to call the Chief Steward and have Steward 76 paged, and have him sent somewhere to stand by.”
“Max, that’s brilliant! And while he’s standing by, we can search staterooms. Where are you going to send him, Max?”
Well, let’s see? How about the indoor swimming pool? If we’re lucky, while he’s standing by, somebody will push him in.”
“That’s a great idea, Max.”
They went to the nearest lounge and Max picked up a phone and called the Chief Steward. A moment later, he hung up, then he and 99 and Fang listened expectantly. Not long after that a call came over the public address system: “Paging Steward 76-report to the indoor swimming pool and stand by.”
“That does it,” Max smiled. “Now, on with the search! What’s the next stateroom, 99?”
“It’s here on A Deck, Max. Room 14.”
It was a short walk to Stateroom 14. When they reached it, Max rapped on the door.
There was no response.
“Dr. X, apparently, is out,” Max said. “Fine. That makes it clear sailing. Now, if the door will just-”
The knob turned and Max pushed the door gently open.
“Max, I guess third time is a charm,” 99 said. “It’s going so easily.”
