“What’s the step, Max?”

“About face! Run for it!”

Max, 99 and Fang took off across the dance floor.

“Halt! Stop!”

“Back in the old rut again,” Max complained.

They dashed from the ballroom, emerged on deck, and raced away. A few seconds later, they made a left turn, entered a stairway, and plunged downward.

“Where to, Max?”

“Down. It’s easier than up.”

Down, down, down, they fled. Past B Deck and all its sub-decks. Past C Deck and all its sub-decks. And still, down, down, down.

“Max-I hear a ringing!”

“My shoe!” Max replied. “It’s the Chief calling!”

“Hadn’t you better answer it, Max?”

“Yes-it might be important.”

Hopping down the steps on one foot, Max removed his shoe.

Max: Agent 86, here. Could you make it short, Chief?

Chief: Max? Is that you, Max? We must have a bad connection. You sound very strange-and far away.

Max: Strange how, Chief?

Chief: As if you were hopping down a flight of stairs.

Max: Actually, Chief, that isn’t so strange. I am hopping.

Chief: Shopping for what, Max? And why are you shopping? You’re supposed to be on a case.

Max: Not shopping, hopping, Chief. You see, a bunch of bad guys are chasing us. Well not bad guys, really. Actually, they’re just a little confused. You see, they think we’re the bad guys. Anyway, they’re chasing us down a flight of stairs. And, in the meantime, we got a call from you.

Chief: Max, this connection is terrible. What did you say? You took a fall on who?

Max: No, Chief-call from you. My shoe rang.

Chief: What orangutang? Stop monkeying around, Max.

Max: No, no, Chief. Shoe. Shoe. Shoe.

Chief: Max, what are you doing on a train? You’re supposed to be on a ship.

Max: Chief, I believe there’s a simple explanation for this. What I feared would happen, has happened. The further out in the ocean we get, the weaker my signal becomes. Do you understand?

Chief: That part is clear, Max. What puzzles me is how you got to Hindustan in the first place. And, now that you’re there, why you’re wasting your time buying lotion.

Max: I don’t think it came in quite as clear as it could have, Chief. Let me try again, (he shouts) We’re too far away!

Chief: Fire away at who, Max? Are you in trouble?

Max: Yes! We’re being chased! And I’m hopping down the steps on one shoe!

Chief: A pair of whose?

Max: Shoe! Shoe, shoe, shoe, shoe, shoe!

Chief: Is that the same train, Max?

Max: Chief, this is getting us nowhere. I’ll call you back later.

Chief: Max, this is getting us nowhere. Why don’t you call me back later?

Max: I will, Chief.

Chief: It’s been a thrill for me, too, Max. So long.

“Max! They’re gaining!” 99 cried, looking back and seeing the posse closing in.

“Just let me… get my shoe… back on,” Max said. “Ah… there now! All right-full speed ahead!”

Max, 99 and Fang plunged on at full speed for another three steps-then came to a dead end at the bottom of the stairs.

“What now, Max?”

“That way!” Max said, pointing down a short corridor. “Through that door!”

“Max, that says ‘Engine Room.’ ”

“99, this is no time to be squeamish. If it’s good enough for the Injuns, it’s good enough for us. Come on!”

They raced down the corridor, then into the Engine Room. Max closed the door behind them.

“Look, Max-engines!” 99 exclaimed.

“I’m not greatly surprised,” Max replied, surveying the huge machines. “Somehow, more or less, a fella sort of expects to find engines in an engine room.”

“Max-that man!”

“Oh, yes-the fellow at that control panel. That must be the Chief Engineer.”

“All is lost, Max!”

“No, he looks like a friendly Injun to me. Let’s find out.”

They approached the man at the control panel. “How!” Max said, raising a hand.

The man glanced back over his shoulder. “Very simple,” he said. “You just punch a button and it operates itself.”

“You Chief?” Max asked.

“Ugh.”

“Me friendly paleface,” Max said. “Gotum heap big trouble. Being chased by bad guy palefaces. Chased for many moons. Upstairs, downstairs, all around the reservation. You hide-um. Me be heap grateful.”

“Paleface brother soundum like some kindum nut,” the man replied.

“Be thatum as it may, Chief,” Max said, “the problemum still remains. Needum place to hide.”

“Costum plenty wampum,” the man said.

“How muchum?”

The man eyed the ballpoint pen in Max’s breast pocket. “Me hide-um paleface brother-including paleface sister and paleface pooch-and paleface brother slip me magic stick that write-um under Father of Waters.”

“It’s a deal-um,” Max said, handing over the ballpoint pen. “Just one thing-I wouldn’t write any big checks with that pen. It has a tendency to heat up.”

“Are you kidding? You think me ignorant savage? Chief know acetylene torch when he see-um one.”

“Where do we hide?” Max asked.

“Getum behind big machine,” the man said. “When bad guy palefaces come in, me say, ‘No spikka da Angleesh.’ ”

Max, 99 and Fang darted behind the largest of the big machines. A moment later, they heard the posse shouting ‘Halt! Stop!’ as the officers entered the engine room.

“Hey, you seen two culprits and a dog?” they heard a voice ask.

“No spikka da Angleesh,” the Chief replied.

“There is no truer friend-um than the noble savage,” Max whispered to 99.

“They must be in here,” the leader of the posse said. “This is the only place they could have gone.”

“No spikka da you-know-what,” the Chief insisted.

“True to the very end,” Max whispered.

“If you’re hiding them, you can kiss your job goodbye,” the leader of the posse said.

“Me? Hide-um? Me be crazy to hide-um one paleface brother, one paleface sister and one paleface pooch over there behind big machine.”

“I think that was the very end,” Max said.

“What now, Max?” 99 whispered.

“Rorff!”

“Right! About face! Run for it!”

Max, 99 and Fang leaped up from behind the machine, plunged through the surprised posse, and charged out the door. They raced down the short corridor, then headed pell-mell up the stairs.

Behind them, they heard, “Halt! Stop!”

Вы читаете Sorry, Chief…
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