And Loving It!

They heard a scream outside the room.

“What now?” Max called, amused.

“I just chopped through the wall,” Lucky Bucky replied. “I didn’t know the Squash Room would do that to you. I’m sorry!”

“Do what to us?” Max asked, puzzled.

“Didn’t you notice? It turned you to peanut brittle!”

“That’s not us,” Max replied. “Keep chopping.”

The chopping sounds resumed.

“Max, he’s going to save us,” 99 said.

“If it makes you happier, 99, of course he is.”

A hole appeared in the peanut brittle. Then they saw Lucky Bucky Buckley peering in at them.

“Talk about your life-like hallucinations,” Max said. “I would swear that if I reached out and tweaked its nose it would cry ouch.” He smiled slyly. “In fact, I’ll prove it.”

Max tweaked Lucky Bucky’s nose.

“Oooooooo!”

“I was wrong,” Max shrugged. “But it certainly looked life-like.”

“Max, it is!”

“Ooooooo is not ouch, 99.”

“You promised me my electricity back!” Lucky Bucky said.

Max squinted at him. “Are you really for real?”

“Tweak me again.”

Max tweaked.

“Ouch!”

“99! It’s him!”

“Now, how about my electricity?” Lucky Bucky said wearily.

“Back up and let us out of here and electricity you shall have,” Max replied. “In fact, if I had my way, you’d get a whole chair full of it.”

Lucky Bucky backed out, and Max and 99 followed him through the hole he had chopped in the peanut brittle. When they got out, Max took off his shoe.

“You can’t get ready for bed until you get me my electricity!” Lucky Bucky shouted angrily. “What are you, one of those guys that promises a fellow anything, then doesn’t give him his electricity?”

“Easy,” Max said. “This is my telephone. This is what I used to shut off your electricity.”

Lucky Bucky was impressed. “Pretty good,” he said. “I never heard of that before. I heard of using a phone to kill snakes with, but never to turn off the electricity with.”

“Observe,” Max said, “and you’ll see how it works.”

He dialed.

Operator: Is that you, flat Max?

Max: I escaped from the Squash Room, Operator. Connect me with the Chief, please.

Operator: What’s that yummy odor I smell?

Max: Peanut brittle. Now, will you connect me with the Chief?

Operator: Is that anything like arachis hypogaea brittle?

Max: Please, just get me the Chief.

(click)

Chief: Control. . Chief here. .

Max: It’s me, Chief. Will you call the Electric Company again, please, and have them restore the power to the island?

(Silence)

Max: Chief, I’m sure they’ve forgotten about those other calls by now.

(Silence)

Max: Couldn’t you disguise your voice, Chief?

Chief: Max, I won’t even discuss the subject.

Max: It’s a matter of life and death again. If I don’t get him his electricity back, Lucky Bucky, who is standing right here beside me, is going to do something very drastic. He hasn’t had his morning coffee yet.

Chief: Why didn’t you say so, Max! I’ll make the call right away.

Max (to 99 and Lucky Bucky): The life or death bit sold him.

Chief: It wasn’t that. I know how tough it is to go without that morning cup of coffee.

(Sound of dialing, then muffled conversation)

Chief: The electricity will be on in a second, Max.

(From the Squash Room, a grinding sound as the ceiling and floor meet)

Max: The power is on, Chief. Thank you. Incidentally, how are you fixed for peanut brittle crunch? I have a seven-year supply that I’d be glad to share with you.

Chief: That’s very-

Lucky Bucky had snatched the shoe from Max’s hand.

“That doesn’t happen to be a party line,” Max snapped at him. “Get your own phone!”

Lucky Bucky pulled a gun and pointed it at Max and 99. “The game is over, Maxie Baby,” he snarled. “I don’t need you any more.”

Max raised his foot. “Will you at least hang up my phone?” he said.

Lucky Bucky tossed the shoe out the window. “Now, try to contact your Chief!”

Max started toward the window and fell flat on his face.

“You forgot to lower your foot, Max,” 99 said.

“Usually, the shoe holds it down,” Max explained, rising. He continued to the window and looked out and down. “It looks like this is your lucky day, Lucky Bucky,” he reported. “You got two agents with one shoe. It hit Brattleboro.”

“What was he doing down there, I wonder,” 99 said.

“Out of gas, I think.”

“Oh, yes, I forgot-he’s a motorcycle cop.”

“To the dungeon!” Lucky Bucky commanded, brandishing the gun.

Max groaned. “Not that again!”

“Don’t blame me,” Lucky Bucky said. “It’s the rule. After an enemy is squashed in the Squash Room, the body is taken to the dungeon and dropped into the bottomless pit. It’s traditional. That’s the way the guy that built the castle always did it.”

“Oh, well, if that’s the system, that’s the system,” Max said. “I don’t suppose there’s anything you can do about it. I’m sorry I showed my pique. I didn’t understand.”

“Do it again,” Lucky Bucky said. “I missed it.”

“Do what again?”

“Show me your peak.”

“Well. . just a peek.”

“Forget it. All or nothing at all.” He waved the gun again. “March!”

Lucky Bucky directed them along the corridor, then down the stairs. When they reached the dungeon, he stopped them at a wooden lid that appeared to be sitting on the floor.

“That’s the top to the bottomless pit,” he said. “Lift it.”

Max picked up the lid and set it aside. A dark hole opened up before them.

Max peered into it. “So that’s the bottomless pit. How deep is it?”