you and your grandfather before him were double-dealing dirty rats too. How’s that?”
“Fine-if you’re sincere,” V. T. Brattleboro replied. “I can’t stand a guy who calls me a rat to my face and then, the minute my back’s turned, tells everybody I’m a nice chap.”
“You won’t have that trouble with me,” Max assured him.
“Gentlemen, may I continue the briefing now?” the Chief said.
“There’s more?” Max said. “Aren’t you the one who’s wasting time now, Chief? Why don’t you turn us loose and let us track that nefarious Guru Optimo and his unscrupulous master Lucky Bucky Buckley, to their lair?”
“Do you have any idea where their lair is, Max?”
“No.”
“Well, I was about to tell you where it is. Do you still think that would be a waste of time?”
“I’m not sure, Chief. What’s a lair?”
“In this case, a hiding place. Lucky Bucky Buckley has taken Guru Optimo to an island that is located a few miles off the coast of lower California. The island is approximately ninety-nine per cent jungle and one per cent medieval castle.”
“A castle, Chief?” 99 said, surprised.
“Yes. It was built by a Spanish nobleman several centuries ago. The island and the castle are still owned by the nobleman’s family. They-”
“Chief,” Max said, “did you say several centuries ago? Isn’t his family a little old by now?”
“Max, these are his descendants. As I was saying, they still own the castle and the island. It’s sort of a white elephant-they can’t find anyone to take it off their hands. So they rent it out to anyone who wants to get away from it all for awhile.”
“Well, renting a white elephant is certainly a novel way of getting away from it all,” Max said. “Frankly, if I wanted to get away from it all, I’d rent the castle instead.”
The Chief sighed. “99, will you explain it to him,” he said.
“Max, the castle and the white elephant are one and the same,” 99 said. “The castle is called a white elephant because-” She interrupted herself, looking suddenly puzzled. “Why
“I think I can answer that,” V. T. Brattleboro offered. “It’s called a white elephant because one day when it was very hot it was looking for a bucket of cold water, intending to cool itself off with it, and, inadvertently, it stuck its trunk into a bucket of white paint instead.”
“Oh. . well, that makes sense,” Max said.
“But that isn’t right,” the Chief said to Brattleboro.
“Of course not. But it sounded like something he would believe,” Brattleboro replied, indicating Max.
The Chief put a hand to his head, groaning. “Does anybody remember what I was saying before we got sidetracked by that white elephant?”
“You were telling us that Lucky Bucky Buckley has taken Guru Optimo to the castle on the island,” 99 replied.
“Oh. . yes. Now, we have a special plane standing by at the airport, waiting to take you to the West Coast. And we have a special helicopter standing by on the West Coast, waiting to take you to the island.” He looked at his watch. “You better get going. Are there any questions?”
Silence.
“Max, you
Max shook his head. “No questions, Chief.”
“Don’t you want to ask why the owners of the castle don’t try paint remover if they’re having trouble getting it off their hands?”
Max’s eyes opened wide. “Did they get the paint on their hands, too? I didn’t know that, Chief. Brattleboro didn’t mention it in his story.”
“Goodbye and good luck,” the Chief said.
“So long, Chief,” Max replied. “Don’t stick your trunk in any paint buckets.”
Max, 99 and Brattleboro headed for the door. But as they reached it, the Chief called, “Max. . just a minute. I’d like to go over the details of the case with you once more, just to be sure that it’s completely clear in your mind.”
“That won’t be necessary, Chief.”
“Nevertheless, Max, I insist,” the Chief said. “99, you and Brattleboro can wait for Max outside.”
“But, Chief, that’s a waste of precious time,” Max objected. “I understood everything you said- perfectly.”
“Max!”
“Chief, have a little faith, will you?”
“Max, for-!”
“We’ll go out and hail a cab to take us to the airport, Max,” 99 said. “We’ll be waiting for you.”
99 and Brattleboro departed, closing the door after them.
“Chief, that was embarrassing,” Max said. “Do you want that KAOS agent to think that you don’t trust me?”
“Max, I wanted you to stay because I have something to say to you that I didn’t want Brattleboro to hear.”
“Oh. Well, why didn’t you say so, Chief?”
“I couldn’t. Brattleboro was- Oh, nevermind. Max, this is what I wanted to tell you. I suspect that Brattleboro has been ordered by his superiors at KAOS to double-cross you and recapture Guru Optimo for them.”
“But, Chief, we’re working together.”
“Max, do you really think we can trust those double-dealing dirty rats? They’re dedicated to evil! So, I’m giving you the same order that Brattleboro’s superiors gave him. Do you understand what you’re supposed to do?”
“The same as Brattleboro.”
“Right.”
“You want me to double-cross me and recapture Guru Optimo for KAOS.”
“No, Max.”
“Say, Chief, I have an idea. Why don’t I double-cross Brattleboro and recapture Guru Optimo for Control? After all, we had him first.”
“Great, Max. That’s even better than my idea.”
“I think so too, Chief. Frankly, turning Guru Optimo over to KAOS didn’t make a lot of sense-at least, from our point of view.”
“You’ve opened my eyes, Max.”
“As a matter of fact, I’ve opened my own eyes too, Chief. I always had great respect for you and your ideas. But that suggestion you made to turn Guru Optimo over to KAOS was a real clunker. Maybe you need a rest.”
“I think I do, Max,” the Chief agreed. “That’s why I’m sending you to an island.”
“Oh. All right, Chief. Try to enjoy yourself while I’m out there on that island, not knowing from one minute to the next whether I’m going to live or die.”
“Max, there’s a lot of truth to that,” the Chief said, suddenly grim. “Not only will you have to contend with Guru Optimo and Lucky Bucky Buckley, but you’ll also have to be on guard constantly against V. T. Brattleboro. You’ll be facing a danger more threatening than you’ve ever faced before.”
Max’s eyes narrowed. “And. .”
“Yes, Max-and what?”
“. . and loving it!” he replied.
2
