The Complete Stories (forword by John Updike)

But why?

WARDEN: That I don't know.

PRINCE: Haven't you asked?

WARDEN: No.

PRINCE: Why not?

WARDEN: It would embarrass me. But if you wish, I'll ask them today.

PRINCE (shocked, loud): Today!

WARDEN (knowingly): Yes, today.

PRINCE: And you can't even guess what they want?

WARDEN (thoughtfully): No.

Pause.

WARDEN: Perhaps I ought to add that sometimes in the early mornings while I'm lying there trying to get my breath and even too weak to open my eyes, there comes a delicate, moist creature, rather hairy to the touch, a latecomer, the Countess Isabella. She runs her hand all over me, catches hold of my beard, her whole body glides along my neck, under my chin, and she's in the habit of saying: 'Not the others, but me — let me out.' I shake my head as much as I can. 'I want to go to Prince Leo, to offer him my hand.' I keep on shaking my head. 'But me, me!' I can still hear her crying, then she's gone. And my granddaughter appears with blankets, wraps me up in them, and waits with me till I can walk on my own. An exceptionally good girl.

PRINCE: Isabella? The name's unknown to me.

Pause.

PRINCE: To offer me her hand! (Goes to window, looks out.)

Enter servant through center door.

SERVANT: Her Highness, m'lady the Princess, awaits you.

PRINCE (looks absent-mindedly at servant. Turns to Warden): Wait till I come back. (Exit left.)

Chamberlain enters at once through center door, then the Lord High Steward (youngish man in officer's uniform) through door on right.

WARDEN (ducks behind divan and flourishes his hands as though seeing ghosts).

STEWARD: The Prince has gone?

CHAMBERLAIN: Following your advice, the Princess sent for him.

STEWARD: Good. (Turns suddenly, bends over behind divan.) And you, miserable ghost, you actually dare to appear here in the princely castle! Aren't you afraid of the great boot that'll kick you through the door?

WARDEN: I'm — I'm —

STEWARD: Quiet, first of all keep quiet, don't utter — and sit down here in this corner! (To Chamberlain) I thank you for informing me about the latest princely whim.

CHAMBERLAIN: You inquired about it.

STEWARD: Even so. And now a confidential word. Purposely in front of that creature there. You, Count, are flirting with the opposition.

CHAMBERLAIN: Is that an accusation?

STEWARD: An apprehension, so far.