glaring at you with an unblinking eye? Most likely not. At least not if you are smart. Does the scenario change if he is a short guy with a pocket protector and thick glasses held together with athletic tape? It probably will but it shouldn’t.
In 1984, four young men accosted Bernard Getz on a New York subway. A self-employed electrical repairman running a small business out of his city apartment, Getz could be described as a classic nerd. Whatever version of the story you may have heard, despite guilt or innocence of all involved, four people wound up being shot in about one and a half seconds during the encounter.
If your girlfriend (or boyfriend for that matter) thinks that violence in defense of the woman’s honor is cool, you are playing with fire. She will not just get you into one fight, but many. Sooner or later, she will get you seriously hurt, maimed, or killed… or sued or thrown in jail. Dump her (or him) now!
Getz, who carried a concealed weapon, had practiced speed shooting and was very good with the gun. Because of all his practice, his gun was more than an equalizer; it gave him the advantage. How many other nerds might you run across who carry a weapon? Knife, gun, pool cue, baseball bat, or beer bottle, it makes no difference—dead is dead, maimed is maimed—whatever the cause.
If you are thinking “fight” and the other guy is thinking “combat,” you are in for a world of hurt. A fight implies a rules-based event, something like a boxing match or mixed martial arts competition. In a fight, you might punch, kick, and/or throw each other down, but you are not likely to kick the other guy’s head in or stomp on his throat once he is down. Combat, on the other hand, is a no-holds-barred struggle for survival. That’s where weapons come into play, eyes are gouged out, ears are bitten off, testicles are torn loose, and serious repercussions can be expected.
If your girlfriend thinks that violence in defense of her honor is cool, you are playing with fire. She will not just get you into one fight, but many.
So, the bottom line is that if your girlfriend wants you to fight for her honor, if she just thinks it is cool for you to fight, don’t. Get another girlfriend. For women who are reading this book, our recommendation for you is the same as when the genders are reversed. This guy is trouble; you need to look real hard at what is happening to you. Dump him now and find someone else to hang out with.
Live to Fight Another Day
If the enemy has occupied them before you, do not follow him, but retreat and try to entice him away.
In single combat, you can win by relaxing your body and spirit and then, catching on to the moment the enemy relaxes attack strongly and quickly, forestalling him.
“That’s f%&king b%$#sh*t,” growled the tattooed, goateed guy at the bar, berating the waitress with a string of invectives that could make a drunken sailor blush. The waitress walked away, but Wilder, who overheard the argument, could not. From his table across the room he felt compelled to say, “You’re a tough guy.”
The tattooed guy leaned back in his chair, turned his head toward Wilder, and snarled, “You wanna see how tough?” He crossed his muscular arms across his broad chest and glared dead-eyed across the room, waiting for a response.
Okaaaay, now Wilder had a decision to make. Would he escalate the issue to a fight? He suddenly realized that he had fallen into an interview. He had foolishly thought he was going to point out the other guy’s rudeness and get an apology while the other guy was ready to fight and looking for an excuse to do it.
Realizing instantly that he needed to send a different message, Wilder looked into the other guy’s eyes, gave a nod toward the football game playing on the bar’s TV, and asked, “Who do you like, Vikings or Lions?” The tattooed guy smirked and shifted his gaze back up at the television without a saying another word. Wilder had answered his question… His query about the football game stated, in essence, “No. I really don’t want to find out how tough you are.”
Does such a response make Wilder a wimp? Was he a loser for not wanting to fight for the waitress’ honor? After all, he’s a black belt in three different martial arts. Shouldn’t he have taught this rude guy a lesson in manners? Of course not. He understood the consequences of such actions and chose the better part of valor. Win or lose, if it came to physical blows Wilder would have been in serious trouble.
If he beat the other guy down, the fact that Wilder was a black belt would undoubtedly have come out in court, dramatically increasing the odds that he would lose a criminal and/ or civil trial. Not only does he have a
Know what is worth fighting for and what is not. That’s the purpose of the questionnaire in Appendix A. It will help you dispassionately identify what is worth the risks of a physical confrontation before you need to make such choices under fire. Unless your life or the life of another is on the line, it’s almost always best to swallow your pride and walk away. Live to fight another day.
From his table across the room he felt compelled to say, “You’re a tough guy.” The tattooed guy leaned back in his chair and snarled, “You wanna see how tough?”
When You Think You Are a Good Fighter, You’re Not
There are five dangerous faults which may affect a general: (1) recklessness, which leads to destruction…
If you study a Way daily, and your spirit diverges, you may think you are obeying a good way, but objectively it is not the true Way. If you are following the true Way and diverge a little, this will later become a large divergence.
Self-assurance is not demonstrated with slumped shoulders, hanging head, a shuffling walk, or weak voice. Quite the opposite, these clues tell predators, bullies, and thugs that you are an easy mark. Being the doormat or the mouse in the corner often makes you a target for the bully. Holding your head high, walking deliberately, and making eye contact, on the other hand, are good signs of confidence.
Puffing your chest out and sneering is no way to make friends though. Being overconfident can also make you a mark, somebody who has something to prove. That means that you are easy to provoke. Arrogance is not a
