Jail Bird

than she did. ‘I’m sorry if I scared you,’ said Lily.

‘Scared me?’ Oli let out an ironic laugh. ‘You didn’t just scare me, you freaked me out! I thought you were lying there dead or something, I was…’ Her voice caught, there were tears in her navy blue eyes. She blinked hard…‘Swear to me you’ll never, ever frighten me like that again.’

Lily had to fight the urge again to reach out, touch Oli’s hand, embrace her. She just nodded, feeling choked up herself as she looked at her daughter’s face and saw the impact Leo’s death must have had on her. It was very clear that although Oli might hate her, be suspicious of her, she was still Oli’s mother and Oli feared the death of another parent. No matter that the parent was no good, a murderess, a lifer out on licence, the worst scum that ever crawled the earth; deep down Oli was terrified of Lily dying, as Leo had died. The early years had scarred her badly, left a deep mark.

‘I’m sorry,’ said Lily helplessly, hating Oli’s pain.

‘Well, what on earth were you doing?’ demanded Oli. She cupped shaking hands around her mug of coffee.

‘I just…wanted to see the place again,’ said Lily. It was the truth, after all. Or part of it, at least. This was her home.

‘What, lying on the ground?’

And what was she supposed to say now? That Oli’s Uncle Freddy had been there, threatening to crush the life out of her? That she had collapsed with fear? She looked at Oli’s sheet-white face. No, she didn’t want more shit going Oli’s way. She knew she was going to have to make some waves but, for as far as possible, she was going to shield Oli – and Saz – all she could.

‘I got upset,’ she said. ‘Seeing the place again…I didn’t realize how much it would throw me.’

Oli nodded and sipped her coffee. Then the intercom buzzed on the wall beside the marble-topped island and Oli dropped her mug. Hot coffee spilled out, splashing over her white top, running onto the floor. The mug handle snapped off.

‘Fuck!’ said Oli loudly.

‘I’ll sort that out,’ said Lily, going to the sink, her sink, the Belfast sink she’d selected from the catalogue, the one she’d taken such pride in. God she must have been in a trance or something in those days, living the ideal life, living a total lie – and she wrung out a cloth then came back to the island as Oli flipped on the intercom. A male voice said: ‘Hi, Ols.’

Lily busied herself with the mopping up, one ear cocked towards the intercom. Oli was looking at her mother, her body language radiating awkwardness.

‘Jase!’ Another glance at Lily. ‘Um…come on in.’

She held down the tab to open the front gates. She looked unhappy. Lily went back to the sink and rinsed out the cloth. Turned and looked at Oli.

‘You’ve got visitors, I’d better go,’ she said.

‘No! It’s okay.’ But still she looked unhappy.

‘Who’s Jase?’ asked Lily. ‘Boyfriend?’

‘Yeah. Sort of,’ said Oli, then fell silent.

‘Been going out long?’ Speak to me, Oli, come on, I’m your mother for God’s sake.

‘About six months,’ said Oli. She raised a hand to her mouth and chewed at a hangnail nervously. Lily saw that all her other nails were bitten too, down to the quick. ‘He works for Uncle Si and Freddy at the club,’ she said suddenly. ‘Um. Should I tell Jase you’re here? Maybe he shouldn’t see you.’

So Oli knew Freddy and Si were a danger to her mother. And – thank you, God – she was even making tentative moves to protect her from them.

They both listened to a powerful car engine coming up the drive.

‘It’s okay,’ said Lily. ‘I’m a fact of life, Oli. Si and Freddy are going to have to live with that.’

She sounded braver than she felt. Inside, she was quivering with nerves. Freddy had just demonstrated clearly that her arse was going to be fried at some time of his choosing. And while Si might be more subtle, he was no less dangerous. She knew she was in the shit. It was just a question of whether she could haul herself out of it before one or both of Leo’s brothers pushed her under.

Oli looked uncertainly at her mother, but she went to the back door and opened it. The car pulled up outside, the engine was cut and a door opened and slammed shut. A very handsome and extremely muscular man in his twenties, with black curling hair, clear olive skin and laughing dark eyes came in and swept Oli up into his arms.

Jesus, he’s stunning, thought Lily. And Oli looked like jailbait – only of course she wasn’t, Lily reminded herself. Oli was eighteen years old, an adult, although she looked younger. She’d turned eighteen on the twenty-seventh of February. Lily would never forget that date, it was imprinted on her mind. Every year in stir she had marked that day off on her calendar, had got the phone cards, phoned out, asked Si – who had taken up residence with bloody Maeve in her home – if she could speak to Oli, wish her a happy birthday. And Si, the bastard, had always said no, Lily, you can’t. Fuck off and die, why don’t you?

Jase grinned and kissed Oli before he realized they had an audience. Then, gently but firmly, he pushed her back a step. His grin faded.

‘This is…’ Oli faltered.

‘I know who it is,’ said Jase, his eyes unfriendly now as they rested on Lily, standing there by the marble- topped island. ‘I saw her at the wedding.’

‘Hiya Jase,’ said Lily with more bravado than she actually felt.

He nodded; very cool.

‘Jase…’ began Oli.

‘Jesus, Oli, you’re putting me in a bad position here,’ said Jase, shaking his head, pushing a hand through his hair. ‘You know how Si feels about all this.’

‘Yeah, I do. But…she’s my mother.’

‘Who killed your father. What the hell are you doing, letting her in here?’

‘Jase!’

‘Well, it’s the truth. She’s got no right to come here. And it might not be safe for you. You don’t know what the crazy bitch is going to do, now do you?’

Lily straightened, pushed herself away from the island. She stared at Jase with hostile eyes. She wanted to say that she had every right in the world to be here. But she was smart enough to know that if she smacked Jase down, Oli might then have to defend him, and she didn’t want to alienate Oli, not when she felt she was making just a tiny bit of progress with her.

‘I’ll go, Oli,’ she said, and made for the door, pushing past Jase.

‘Yeah,’ said Jase. ‘Do that.’

‘Wait!’ Oli caught her arm, turned her. ‘How are you getting…I mean, look, hold on. How are you getting back to where you’re staying?’

She’d nearly said ‘home, how are you getting home’. But Lily was home. Nick’s flat was just a roof over her head, nothing more than that.

Lily shrugged. ‘Bus.’

‘Bus?’ But for God’s sake, it’s miles to the nearest bus stop. And,’ she glanced at her watch, ‘it’s too late anyway. All the buses are gone.’

‘Then I’ll have to use your phone, call up a cab,’ said Lily. Although I don’t have cash enough for that.

‘No, don’t be silly. Look…’ Oli was hesitating.

Lily held her breath.

‘Look,’ said Oli finally, ‘Jase can drive you.’

‘Fuck that,’ said Jase.

Oli sent him an angry glance. ‘All right then, I will.’ Oli was frowning. ‘Or…’

‘Or what?’ Come on, sweetheart, come through for your Mum, thought Lily, hardly daring to breathe.