inheritance would be lost in bad investments, and he began following the
stock market with a nervous interest that made him the bane of his
broker. He started his three low-circulation, high-priced
mountainclimbing magazines as a hedge against a collapse of the market;
and although they were quite profitable, he periodically predicted their
demise. He began to see the dread specter of cancer in every cold, case
of flu, headache and bout with acid indigestion. His clairvoyance
frightened him, and he attempted to deal with it only because he could
not run from it. At times the fear intruded between him and Connie in
the most intimate moments, leaving him impotent.
Recently he had sunk into a depression far deeper than any that had come
before it, and for several days he had seemed unable and unwilling to
claw his way out of it. Two weeks ago he had witnessed a mugging, heard
the victim's cries for help-and walked away. Five years ago he would
have waded into the fight without hesitation. He came home and told
Connie about the mugging, belittled himself, called himself names and
argued with her when she tried to defend him. She was afraid that he
had come to loathe himself, and she knew that for a man like Graham such
an attitude would lead inevitably to some form of madness.
She knew that she was not particularly qualified to put him back
together again. Because of her strong will, because of her competitive
and fiercely self-sufficient nature, she felt that she had done more
harm than good to her previous lovers. She had never thought of herself
as a women's liberationist and certainly not as a ball breaker; she
simply had been, from the age of consent, sharper and tougher and more
self-reliant than most men of her acquaintance. In the past her lovers
had been emotionally and intellectually weaker than she. Few men seemed
able to accept a woman as anything but an inferior. She had nearly
destroyed the man she lived with before Graham, merely by assuming her
equality and-in his mind, at least-invalidating the male role he needed
to sustain himself.
With Graham's ego in a fragile state, she had to modify her basic
personality to an extent she would have thought impossible. It was
worth the strain, because she saw the man he had been prior to the
accident. She wanted to break his shell of fear and let out the old
Graham Harris. What he had once been was what she had hoped for so long
to find: a man who was her equal and who would not feel threatened by a
woman who was his match. However, while trying to bring that Graham
back to life, she had to be cautious and patient, for this Graham could
be shattered so very easily.
A gust of wind rattled the window.
Although she was warm under the covers, she shivered.
The telephone rang.
Startled, she rolled away from Graham.
The phone was strident. Like the cry of a halidon, it echoed eerily in
the room.
She snatched up the receiver to stop the ringing before it woke him.
'Hello?' she said softly.
'Mr. Harris, please.'
