Exile's Valor

“She was afraid,” Talamir said, into the silence. “Fear can make anyone a tyrant.”

The men looked at him blankly; Alberich was among them. He couldn’t imagine how Talamir had come to that conclusion; there was no logic in it.

But Keren and Myste exchanged an eloquent glance, and after Keren nodded, Myste spoke up.

“She was afraid that if she didn’t force this through, now, she would lose him, you mean,” Myste said. It was a statement, not a question. “And if she loses him, it will break her, and she knows it.”

“I think so.” Talamir passed a hand over one eye, and looked, for a moment, impossibly frail.

“How can it break her?” Elcarth asked, aghast. “Great good gods, she’s been through much worse than having a love affair end!”

“She does not precisely confide in me, so I can only judge by what I see and sense, based on what I know. I have never been in love myself,” he added, somewhat wistfully, “So all I can do is guess. But as for why it will break her—it is precisely because she has been through so much in this last year. I believe that she sees Prince Karath as—as a sort of lifeline.”

“I think—maybe—it’s because he’s an outsider,” Myste put in. “I mean, she thinks she can’t unburden herself to the rest of us, because we’re a part of that burden. And anyway, he’s made himself indispensable now. If she loses him, it will be that proverbial last pebble that starts the avalanche. Maybe he’s only a pebble, but sometimes that’s all it takes.”

“Think about it, think back to how you felt with your first loves, not what you know now. The first time a youngster falls in love, there’s no way to tell the difference between love and infatuation from the inside,” Ylsa added sadly. “So as far as Selenay and this situation are concerned, right now, the difference is negligible.”

“You mean, we treat it as love even though it might be—is probably—infatuation.” Kyril looked pained. “But —”

“Remember what I told you about supporting her,” Talamir warned.

“But if she goes on like this, overruling everything before anyone even has a chance to object—” began Elcarth. But both Talamir and Alberich were shaking their heads. Talamir gestured to Alberich.

“I think she will not, for there is no fear there for her,” Alberich said. “Such things do not rouse her passion or her fear, for they do not affect her love.”

“Precisely.” Talamir nodded. “Why should she be afraid about a matter of budget, or of setting a law? None of this is going to going to wrench her love out of her arms. We should be far more concerned that she stops caring about these things, frankly.”

“Actually,” Jadus spoke up, making everyone turn to look at him, “I think the best thing we could do is get this wedding over and done with. If it could be done tomorrow, I’d say to do it.”

“Because—” Alberich said slowly, feeling his way toward the words, “—if mere infatuation it is, the sooner reality comes, the better. So—let the Prince but think he has her, then revert to whatever his true self is, he will.”

Just as that stranger with Norris said. He is not bright enough to make up his own speeches. When he has her, his control over himself will lapse.

“Something like that,” Jadus agreed. “And when she has him, she won’t fear she’ll lose him anymore, so whether it’s love or infatuation, she’ll start thinking again instead of reacting with her emotions.”

“That’s what I meant by treating infatuation the same as if it was love,” said Ylsa. “Even if we are certain it’s infatuation, she’s certain it’s love, and that he shares it, and if you don’t give the emotion the same respect as if it is love, she’ll stop listening to you.”

“Oh, gods,” Elcarth groaned. “It’s hard.”

“Because we all assume we know better than she does, we’re so much older and wiser,” said Myste dryly. “Believe me, that’s exactly what she’s most afraid of. She doesn’t want to hear about our experience, she doesn’t want to think that this intense emotional storm that is making her feel so good for the first time in months is based on anything less than truth. And hellfires, for all we know, she could be in the right. The Prince may be the best thing for her. He may be in love with her, and she with him. He’s only a second son; there is no way that he is going to be able to aspire to anything but chair-warming at home; at least here, while he may not be a King, he’ll be more than a hanger-on. Even if he isn’t in love with her, he may see her as his escape from mediocrity, and he may treat her with all the respect and tenderness we could ask because of it. But until we have evidence to the contrary, and she’s ready to look at that evidence, then—”