“No death that we know of, but Skan is missing,” he told her, taking the hands she held out to him with gratitude. “We have a Mindspeaker searching for him, but that takes time.”
Her eyes went wide when he said that Skandranon was missing, and her hands tightened on his. “Is there anything I can do to help?” she asked quickly.
“I was going to ask you that; can you think of anything?” He tried not to show his disappointment when she shook her head, but his heart fell a little anyway. He hadn’t exactly counted on her coming up with a brilliant plan on the spur of the moment, but he’d hoped, just a bit. She was so resourceful, it was hard to realize that she couldn’t do everything, solve every problem.
“I cannot solve every problem,” she said softly, as if she had read his thoughts. “I cannot even solve my own.”
Only then did he see that her eyes were red, as if she had been weeping, and that there were shadows beneath them that told him she had been spending some sleepless nights.
“I can’t do anything more to look for Skan,” he told her quietly, drawing her back over to her seat under the trees. “Why don’t you tell me about your troubles? I may not be able to help, but at least I can provide a sympathetic ear.”
She let him lead her there passively, and sat down again with a sigh. “It is nothing I had not known about when I came here,” she said wearily. “It is just that I had not known how it would affect me until I saw Winterhart with the Necklace.”
“Winterhart?” he said, puzzled. “What—” But the question was answered by her woeful expression before she could even say a word. “Oh, my very dear! You have gone and fallen in love with Shalaman, haven’t you!”
She nodded, a tinge of color creeping over her cheeks. “A dreadful confession for a kestra’chern, to say she has fallen in love with her chief client.”
“I did with mine—” he objected, but she waved the objection away.
“Winterhart was not the King,” she pointed out. “And you were not in Haighlei lands. It is assumed here, among the Haighlei, that a true kestra’chern is a precious thing, too precious for any one person to have to himself. Yet the King’s Consort obviously could not—well. I am caught in a double bind, you see.”
“And it would be bad enough that you love him, but he is also in love with you, I suspect,” Amberdrake hazarded. “Ah, now a great deal makes sense. That was why he thought he was in love with Winterhart! It was really a reflection of his true feelings for you!”
She nodded. “Your lady is very like me in many ways, and he had every reason to believe that she was accessible to him. I have not let him know of my feelings, and I suspect that custom has made him deny his. As flexible as my King is, he is surprisingly custom-bound.”
He let go of her hands and reached out to hold her instead. She did not resist at all but rested her head on his chest with a sigh that conveyed more heartbreak than all the tears in the world.
“I was able to manage when there was no serious contender for his affection,” she said softly into his collar. “But when he offered Winterhart the Necklace—oh, it hurt, it hurt! It stabbed me to the heart, and I could scarcely bear to stand there and smile, and pretend to be glad! And even now, although I know it is all a sham, I cannot bear to stay in the Court for very long and watch her in the place of Consort-To-Be at his side!”
“One way or another, in two days it will all be over,” he reminded her, with a stab of pain and fear in his own heart, as he wondered just how it would all end. With laughter and triumph—or in bloody war?
“But the situation will still remain,” she replied, every word an unshed tear, a whispered fragment of pain. “One day soon, he must take a real Consort, and I know this now, as does he. I will bear it because I must—but, oh, my friend, I shall walk from that moment on upon knifeblades, with spears in my heart until the day I die!” He stroked her hair, unable to arrive at a satisfactory answer for her.
“I wish that I had a magic means of helping you,” he said at last. “If there were a kestra’chern of your skill available to take your place, do you think—”
“I do not know,” she said, but sadly. “It has never happened before that an Emperor took as his Consort a kestra’chern. I suspect he could order it to be so only at the Eclipse Ceremony.”
“But you must not tell him of my feelings for him!” she insisted. “You must not! It is bad enough now, but it would be worse for both of us if you do! Loving in silence is misery, but loving, knowing the other loves, and remaining parted is twice the misery! I have seen it happen all too often that way.”
Sadly, so had he. “I swear it,” he pledged her. “Yet I also swear that I will do what I can to remedy the situation, if a remedy can be found.” He cupped her face in his hands, kissed her forehead, and smiled into her eyes.
