The Midnight Tour

“Pretty cool,” Owen said to her.

“I almost wet my pants,” Darke said.

“A tough guy like you?”

She grinned.

Several people began to snap photos of Clyde and Lynn on the stairs.

Off to the side, Vein looked around, raised a single black eyebrow at Owen and Darke, then bent down and slid the knife into her boot. Nobody seemed to be watching her. She stepped closer to Owen and Darke. 'I knew it was a fake-out,” she said.

They both laughed.

Lynn was now standing with Clyde on the same stair. Holding the hideous white head under one arm like a football helmet, Clyde nodded, grinned and waved.

Lynn held up both arms. “Would somebody like to go outside and try to bring back our runaways?”

“I’ll take care of it.”

“Thanks, Phil.”

Owen had seen Phil around. A normal-looking guy with a nice-looking wife. Though Owen hadn’t spoken to either of them, he’d noticed Phil’s unusual hair. Black with a patch of white near the front, it had reminded him of Cotton Hawes, one of Ed McBain’s 87th Precinct cops.

'I’ll go with you,” Phil’s wife said. She was husky and had a pleasant face. Wearing a flannel shirt, jeans and boots, she looked as if she belonged in the woods somewhere. She followed Phil out the door.

“While they’re gone,” Lynn said, 'the rest of you can take a couple of minutes to relax.” She grinned. 'Glad to see that you’re all still standing.”

“That was a dirty trick,” said the camel sweater man, chuckling and shaking his head. “I loved it.”

'I almost pooped,” announced Arnold.

“You’re crude, dude.”

'Huh-huh.”

'Get a load of the scblong on that guy.”

'That’s crude.”

Phil and his wife came back in, followed by the woman in the tennis whites and her husband. With a big smile, the man waved at the group. “Just stepped out for a breath of fresh air, everyone.” He gave a thumbs-up to Clyde. “Nice job, fellow. Sure put one over on me.”

“Are you both all right?” Lynn asked.

“Oh, fine,” the man said.

His wife said nothing, but glowered toward Lynn and Clyde.

'All in good fun,” Lynn said. Then she took a deep breath and said, “Last call for bailing out of the tour and getting a full refund. Any takers?”

A sour look on her face, the tennis woman muttered, 'Biff?”

'I’m staying,” he told her. “If you want to leave, be my guest. You can wait for me in the car.”

'What’ll it be, Eleanor?” Lynn asked.

The woman almost snarled. “I’ll stay.”

“Very good,” Lynn said. “The tour starts now.”

Chapter Fifty-six

THE STRANGENESS OF BEASTS

Heart still racing from the scare of what she’d thought was a real attack on Tuck, Dana rubbed her sweaty hands on the sides of her shorts. The pistol had been halfway out of her pocket by the time Clyde had stopped and pulled off his mask.

My God, what if I’d shot him?

Tuck should’ve warned me, she thought.

Probably didn’t want to ruin the surprise.

'This is Clyde,” Tuck announced, slapping him on the back.

“Hi, everyone,” he said.

“He’s a regular member of our staff, and our favorite beast. Some of the ladies like to say it’s type casting.”

Clyde chuckled, then raised the ugly, snouted mask and pulled it down over his head.

'Behold a beast,” Lynn said. 'this is what they actually look like. Not quite like the ones they show in the movies, is he? The movie beasts are almost pretty compared to the real thing. And of course, they never let you see this.”

Tuck gave the jutting shaft a flick with the back of her hand. The gentle blow made it sway from side to side. A few people chuckled. Some made sounds of dismay. An impish smile appeared on Tuck’s face.

'Don’t worry,” she said, “it’s not real. Like the rest of the suit, it’s made of synthetics. But every detail of the suit is accurate. According to people who know, its appearance and texture is almost exactly like the actual beasts. Down to the slightest details. Note the sharp claws on its hands and feet. Note its teeth—in botb mouths. ”

As she wrapped her right hand around the shaft, just about everyone in the group either groaned or snickered.

“Go for it,” Dennis said.

“I’m sure that most of you have heard about this,” Lynn said. With her left hand, she pointed at the blunt head of the penis. Stretched across it was a mouthlike orifice that seemed to be frozen in a snarl. 'There are passing mentions of it in Janice Crogan’s books, but it’s one of those things nobody wants to dwell on...no pun intended.”

After a pause, there came a mixture of laughs and moans. Dennis and Arnold elbowed each other, chuckling. Eleanor shook her head. Owen and Darke laughed. Monica, standing close behind them, looked as if she might be smelling something sour.

'This...” Tuck said, “is obviously the beast’s most unusual feature. But it’s something you don’t hear much about and you certainly never see it in any of the movies. You never hear about it on the day tour, either. This is the beast’s deep, dark secret.”

With her left hand, Lynn withdrew an eight-inch long flashlight from a front pocket of her shorts. “I’ll light it up for you.” She thumbed the switch, then shined the bright beam on the mouth. “Why don’t you come over here, one at a time, and take a closer look if you’re so inclined?”

Nobody took her up on the offer.

“I know you all want to look. Dennis, Arnold, you guys wanta break the ice?”

'Bitchin’,” said Arnold.

“Cool,” said Dennis.

As they made their way toward the foot of the stairs, Lynn resumed her talk. “The beast comes equipped with a quite an impressive mouthful of teeth. There is also a forked tongue. On an actual beast, the tongue extends about two to three inches, but our replica doesn’t do that. You’ll only be able to see the very tips of it.”

Dennis leaned forward for a close look. “Whoa, dude,” he muttered. He stepped aside. While Arnold inspected the mouth, Andy and Alison Lawrence stepped up behind him to await their turn.

“We’re not entirely sure about the functions of the second mouth,” Tuck went on. “We don’t know, for instance, whether the creatures are able to consume food with it, or breathe through it. We do know that they bite.”

A few people winced.

'Charming,” muttered Eleanor.

More people lined up to inspect the mouth.