The Midnight Tour

“It’s done, man.” He stretched his mouth open wide and bit into his huge burger. Juices and melted cheese dribbled off and spattered the paper lining of the basket.

Mouth watering, Owen picked up his Red-Hot Beastie Weenie and took a bite. The buttery, grilled bun crunched. His teeth popped through the charbroiled skin of the hot dog. Warm, spicy juices flooded his mouth.

John said something, but his mouth was full so Owen couldn’t understand a word that came out.

“Huh?”

John chewed for a while, swallowed a couple of times, and said with his mouth only half-full, 'Weenie- eater.”

“That’s me.”

For a while, they ate and didn’t talk.

Owen thought about John’s offer to send him photos of Lynn. He would be glad to get them, all right. But he wasn’t eager to let John have his home address.

Even if I give it to him, be probably won’t send the pictures. People are always making promises like that, but they hardly ever follow through.

Later, John paused in his eating and said, “So, how about what we were talking about before?”

“What?”

“Will you take my camera with you on the Midnight Tour? Do that for me, I’ll get doubles made and send you one of everything.”

Owen shook his head.

“Come on, man. Please. What’s it gonna hurt?”

'I have my own camera.”

“No sweat. Take shots with both.”

“Do they even allow photography inside the house?”

“Can’t use a flash. I already checked. But I got high-speed film. Four hundred. You don’t gotta have a flash, not if there’s any kind of decent light at all. So what kinda film you using?”

“Two hundred.”

“You’re fucked. Won’t get dick inside the house, night or day. Not without a flash.”

“I can buy a role of four hundred before the tour.”

“Hey, come on, man.”

“Why don’t I take tour pictures with my camera, have doubles made and send you a copy of everything?”

John grimaced “I haven’t got anyplace you can send 'em to. I’m living in my car, man. I’d never get ‘em. Jeez! Cut me a break, will you?” He suddenly smiled. The crevices between his teeth were calked with white pasty bun. “Anyhow,” he said, “I already got the pictures of you and Lynn on my camera. You want them, don’t you?”

I’d want them a lot worse, Owen thought, if they were pictures of Dana.

Dana!

An idea struck him.

Stunned him.

He thought about it for a few seconds.

“What?” John asked.

'I tell you what,” Owen said. ”How would you like to go on the Midnight Tour, yourself?”

“You kidding?”

Owen leaned to the right and pulled out his wallet. He removed a fifty dollar bill and reached across the table with it.

John frowned at the bill. “What’s that for?”

“A down payment on a job.”

“Who I gotta kill?”

“You don’t have to kill anyone, but I want you to shoot one of the other guides.” Owen grinned, pleased by his pun, delighted by his plan. “With your camera. Her name’s Dana. She’s probably working inside Beast House right now.”

“What’s she look like?”

'Tall and blond. And extremely beautiful.”

“Right. The gorgeous one. Know just who you mean. Saw her yesterday, myself. A real honey. I got a stiffy just...”

'Hey.”

“Sure. Sorry. Didn’t mean to offend you, pal. You want pictures of her, I’ll take pictures. They have to be nudes or something?”

“Dont be a jerk. Just get me a few good snapshots of her. However you want to do it. Ask her permission, or do it on the sly, whatever. But don’t involve me, okay? Just act like you’re taking them for yourself.”

'No problemo.”

“I know, let’s take the audio tour separately. I’ll go first. Give me maybe a half hour headstart, then you come in and do the tour and take your pictures of Dana. When you’re done, I’ll meet you out front and we’ll take a look around town. Maybe we can find some sort of one-hour film developing place. Or maybe there’s a place that’ll do it overnight.”

“Might be,” John said, and sipped some cola. “Wouldn’t be surprised.”

“Soon as I have my pictures of Dana, I’ll give you another fifty bucks and you can buy yourself a ticket for the Midnight Tour.”

John nodded, looking pleased for a few seconds. Then he frowned. “What if they’re all sold out by then?”

“Can you stick around and do the tour next week?”

John wrinkled his nose. “I don’t know, man. A week’s a long time when you’re flat busted. Can’t we just go ahead and buy me the ticket now? Tell you what, we buy it now, then you keep it till I give you the pictures. How about that^? Anything goes wrong, you can sell it to somebody else and make all your money back. Shit, you could maybe even scalp it and make yourself a profit. What do you say?”

Owen wanted photos of Dana.

“Sure,” he said. “It’s a deal.”

“You won’t regret it, man. This is great! I’ll get you some great pictures of that babe.”

They finished their meals. Then they hiked across the front lawn toward the ticket booth. Owen waited on the grass. John went up the walkway, spoke briefly with Sharon, then stepped out of sight. A few minutes later, he reappeared holding a red ticket. Sharon looked happy to see that he’d gotten it. They talked for a while, nodding and smiling. At last, Sharon had to hand out some tape players, so John strolled over to Owen.

“Good thing we didn’t wait,” he said, waving the ticket.

“This was the last one they had for tomorrow night.”

Must be number thirteen.

“Lucky,” Owen said.

“Man, this is the luckiest day of my life. I’d give you a hug and kiss, only we don’t want nobody thinking we’re fags.”

Owen tried to smile. “Wouldn’t want that.” He held out his hand and John gave him the ticket.

“I get it back when you get the pictures of Dana, right?”

“Right,” Owen said, slipping it into the shirt pocket with his own ticket. “Now, I’ll go on in and do the tour. Why don’t you spend a while over at the gift shop, or something?”

“Maybe I’ll have me another burger. Can you spare a couple more bucks?”

“Sure.” Owen took out a ten-dollar bill. 'Take this and give me an hour headstart.”

“A whole hour?”

“Spend it eating,” Owen suggested, and handed him the ten.