then he saw her, and shut his mouth, and drew himself into himself, wary as a wild animal. They approached each other on the narrow causeway path, not another human being in all the wilderness of reeds and mud and water and wind.
'Good evening. Chief Abberkam,' Yoss said when there were only a few paces between them. What a big man he was; she never could believe how tall and broad and heavy he was till she saw him again, his dark skin still smooth as a young
man's, but his head stooped and his hair grey and wild. A huge hook nose and the mistrustful, unseeing eyes. He muttered some kind of greeting, hardly slowing his gait.
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The mischief was in Yoss today; she was sick of her own thoughts and sorrows and shortcomings. She stopped, so that he had to stop or else run right into her, and said, 'Were you at the wake last night?'
He stared down at her; she felt he was getting her into focus, or part of her; he finally said, 'Wake?'
'They buried old Uad last night. Alt the men got drunk, and it's a mercy the feud didn't finally break out.'
'Feud?' he repeated in his deep voice.
Maybe he wasn't capable of focusing any more,
but she was driven to talk to him, to get through to him. 'The Dewis and Kamanners. They're quarreling over that arable island just north of the village.
And the two poor children, they want to be partners, and their fathers threaten to kill them if they look at each other. What idiocy! Why don't they divide the island and let the children pair and let their children share it? It'll come to blood one of these days, I think.'
'To blood,' the Chief said, repeating again like a half-wit, and then slowly, in that great, deep voice, the voice she had heard crying out in agony in the night across the marshes, 'Those men. Those shopkeepers. They have the souls of owners. They won't kill. But they won't share. If it's property, they won't let go. Never.'
She saw again the lifted sword.
'Ah,' she said with a shudder. 'So then the children must wait... fill the old people die ... '
'Too late,' he said. His eyes met hers for one instant, keen and strange; then he pushed back his
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hair impatiently, growled something by way of good-bye, and started on so abruptly that she almost crouched aside to make way for him. That's how a chief walks, she thought wryly, as she went on. Big, wide, taking up space, stamping the earth down.
And this, this is how an old woman walks, narrowly, narrowly.
There was a strange noise behind her — gunshots, she thought, for city usages stay in the nerves
— and she turned sharp round, Abberkam had stopped and was coughing explosively, tremendously, his big frame hunched around the spasms that nearly wracked him off his feet. Yoss knew that kind of coughing. The Ekumen was supposed to have medicine for it, but she'd left the city before any of it came. She went to Abberkam and when the paroxysm was over and he stood gasping, grey-faced, she said, 'That's berlot: are you getting over it or are you getting it?'
He shook his head-
She waited.
While she waited she thought, what do I care if he's sick or not? Does he care? He came here to die.
I heard him howling out on the marshes in the dark, last winter. Howling in agony. Eaten out with shame, like a man with cancer who's been all eaten out by the cancer but can't die.
'It's all right,' he said, hoarse, angry, wanting her only to get away from him; and she nodded and went on her way. Let him die. How could he want to live knowing what he'd lost, his power, his honor, and what he'd done? Lied, betrayed his supporters, embezzled. The perfect politician. Big Chief Abberkam, hero of the Liberation, leader of
Betrayals
the World Party, who had destroyed the World Party by his greed and folly.
She glanced back once. He was moving very slowly or perhaps had stopped, she was not sure. She went on, taking the right-hand way where the causeway forked, going down onto the bog-path
that led to her little house.
Three hundred years ago these marshlands had been a vast, rich agricultural valley, one of the first to be irrigated and cultivated by the Agricultural Plantation Corporation when they brought their slaves from Werel to the Yeowe Colony. Too well irrigated, too well cultivated; fertilizing chemicals and salts of the soil had accumulated till nothing would grow, and the Owners went elsewhere for their profit. The banks of the irrigation canals slumped here and there and the waters of the river wandered free again, pooling and meandering, slowly washing the lands clean. The reeds grew, miles and miles of reeds bowing a little under the-wind, under the cloud-shadows and the wings of long-legged birds. Here and there on an island of rockier soil a few fields and a slave-village remained, a few sharecroppers left behind, useless people on useless land. The freedom of desolation- And all through the marshes there were lonely houses.
Growing old, the people of Werel and Yeowe might turn to silence, as their religion recommended them to do: when their children were grown, when they had done their work as householder and citizen, when as their body weakened their soul might make itself strong, they left their life behind and came empty-handed to lonely places- Even on the Plantations, the Bosses had let old slaves go out into
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the wilderness, go free. Here in the North, freedmen from the cities had come out to the marshlands and lived as recluses in the lonely houses. Now, since the Liberation, even women came.
Some of the houses were derelict, and any soul-maker might claim them; most, like Yoss's thatched cabin, were owned by villagers who maintained them and gave them to a recluse rent-free as a religious duty, a means of enriching the soul. Yoss liked knowing that she was a source of spiritual profit to her landlord, a grasping man whose account with Providence was probably otherwise all on the debit side. She liked to feel useful.
She took it for another sign of her incapacity to let the world go, as the Lord Kamye bade her do. You are no longer useful, he had told her in a hundred ways, over and over, since she was sixty; but she would not listen. She left the noisy world and came out to the marshes, but she let the world go on chattering and gossiping and singing and crying in her ears.
She would not hear the low voice of the Lord.
Eyid and Wada were gone when she got home;
the bed was made up very tight, and the foxdog Tikuli was sleeping on it, curled up around his tail. Gubu the spotted cat was prancing around asking about dinner. She picked him up and petted his silken, speckled back while he nuzzled under her ear, making his steady roo-roo-roo of pleasure and affection; then she fed him. Tikuli took no notice, which was odd. Tikuli was sleeping too much. She sat on the bed and scratched the roots of his stiff, red- furred ears. He woke and yawned and looked at her with soft amber eyes, his red plume of tail stirring. 'Aren't you hungry?' she asked him. I will eat to please you,
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Betrayals
Tikuli answered, getting down off the bed rather stiffly. 'Oh, Tikuli, you're getting old,' Yoss said, and the sword stirred in her heart. Her daughter Safnan had given her Tikuli. a tiny red cub, a scurry of paws and plume-tail — how long ago? Eight years. A long time- A lifetime for a foxdog-
More than a lifetime for Safnan. More than a lifetime for her children, Yoss's grandchildren, Enkamma and Uye.
If I am alive, they are dead, Yoss thought, as she always thought; if they are alive, I am dead. They went on the ship that goes like light; they are translated into the light. When they return into life, when they step off the ship on the world called Hain, it will be eighty years from the day they left, and I will be dead, long dead; I am dead. They left me and I am dead. Let them be alive. Lord, sweet Lord, let them be alive, I will be dead. I came here to be dead. For them. I cannot, I cannot let them be dead for me.
Tikuli's cold nose touched her hand- She looked intently at him. The amber of his eyes was dimmed,
bluish. She stroked his head, scratched the roots of his ears, silent.
