her masculine proclivities in other fields. If she pursues the second line, she clings in obstinate self-assertion to her threatened masculinity; the hope of getting a penis sometime is cherished to an incredibly late age and becomes the aim of her life, whilst the fantasy of really being a man, in spite of everything, often dominates long periods of her life. This ‘masculinity complex’ may also result in a manifestly homosexual object-choice.
Only if her development follows the third, very circuitous path does she arrive at the ‘ultimate normal feminine attitude in which she takes her father as love object, and thus arrives at the Oedipus complex in its feminine form. Thus, in women, that complex represents the final result of a lengthy process of development; castration does not destroy but rather creates it, and it escapes the strong hostile influences which, in men, tend to its destruction-in fact, only too often a woman never surmounts ‘it at all.” (Freud, “Female Sexuality,” reprinted in Sexuality and the Psychology of Love, pp.’ 198-9, Philip Rieff, editor) Terri obviously rejected the first of the three alternatives mentioned by Freud. That is, she emphatically did not turn away from her own sexuality.
However,” she seems to have vacillated between the second and the third choices. The second alternative would obviously lead to the formation of a homosexual personality. As we have seen, there is more than a hint of a homosexual attraction between Terri and her stepmother. As we shall see in a later portion of her case history, a similar attachment developed between her and Amy, the wife of the assistant principal already mentioned.
It is the relationship between Terri and the assistant principal, Mr.
Harvey-though they were extremely intimate, she never referred to him by his first name-which must occupy most of our attention. Terri has already mentioned a more than superficial similarity between Harvey and her father, a comparison which naturally brings to mind the implication of incest. We think it is very possible that this likeness between the two men bad a great deal to do with Terri’s enthusiastic response to his advances: in fact, it would not be too much to say that, in making love with Harvey, she was actually forming a close physical tie with her own father, at least on the symbolic level.
The reader may already have noticed that, while Terri professed a great deal of admiration and respect for her father, so much so that she declined to allow her hymen to be ruptured in order not to disappoint him, she never said much about him as a person. We submit that this curious fact indicates, first, a very strong emotional attachment to her father, but, second, a strong reluctance to allow it to come out into the open. It is quite possible, in other words, that Terri subconsciously felt a strong physical attachment to her father but refused to reveal it. This attraction later surfaced in her very erotic relationship with a father-substitute, Harvey. Thus Terri took both the second and the third alternatives suggested by Freud! The death of Terri’s mother and her understandable inability to accept Madge as a full substitute contributed to this curious outcome, we can safely assume.
Dr. Benjamin Karpman, a noted authority, corroborates our suspicion that Terri saw in Harvey a substitute for her father. He also provides a clue to another development to be chronicled in a subsequent portion of her case history.
Karpman points out that “the patient, confronted with an incestuous fixation on the one hand and the incest barrier on the other, finds it necessary to affect a compromise that enables him to avoid or circumvent direct incestuous activities but nevertheless permits him to indulge his incestuous desires indirectly and perhaps symbolically. Thus, a man who has a fixation on his mother is terrified not only- at the idea of having sexual relations with her, but even at the idea of having them with any other woman, because every woman is, actually or potentially, a mother and therefore brings to mind a picture of his own mother. Since libido must find an outlet, he resorts to the expedient of indulging in sex relations that will completely exclude the vaginal orifice.
Consequently, he may indulge in fellatio, cunnilingus, pederasty, which to him, appears to completely remove the chosen activity from any implication of incest.” (Quoted in Capnio, Variations in Sexual Behavior, pp. 190-1.) We believe that Terri conforms to this pattern and that she eagerly accepted the injunctions to preserve her hymen. She did so because orthodox sexual intercourse would have seemed too much like incest and thus she sought recourse in other forms of sexual behavior. Thus, when anal- intercourse was suggested to her, she eagerly seized upon it as a way of having her cake and eating it too.
“Every time we got together, Mr. Harvey and me, he would ask me if I wanted to go over to his house to have our fun. For a while I wouldn’t go. I just couldn’t bring myself to do those things with him while his wife was look big on. Finally he convinced me by showing me some pictures someone had made. He was lying on a bed and some really gorgeous blonde chick was going down on him.
Right next to him was his wife-I knew her when I saw her-and she had her mouth full of cock! After that I believed him when he said that they weren’t hung up about doing things like that and so I said that I’d go along with him. We set it up for the next Saturday and that was that.
“When I got there Amy herself met me at the door. She was wearing a negligee that really showed off her body like the movies do, and she had a hell of a body to show off. And you could see that she was really turned on by it all.
“Come on in,” she told me, holding the door open. “We’re back in the bedroom getting ready. I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time. You mustn’t feel self-conscious or anything. Just relax, make yourself comfortable and enjoy it.”
“What can you say to that? I mean, I’d come there to ball’ her husband and she rolls out the red carpet! Jeez, that’s some kind of hospitality! I beaded off in the direction she pointed, out — and she said she’d be along in a minute. I went on down the hallway and turned into the bedroom she’d mentioned. He was there, lying on top of the covers with his cock spread out across his tummy like a gigantic snake. I stepped into the room and just seeing him like that, it made me queasy all over.
“Come on in,” he told me. “Amy will be back in a few minutes. Why don’t you take off your clothes and join me?”
“I couldn’t have done anything but take off my clothes, once he’d asked me. It was like I was some kind of robot, programmed to do everything he suggested. If someone had said to me beforehand that I’d be undressing In front of a man when his wife was somewhere in the house, about to come into the same room with us,I’d have said he was out of his gourd. But here I was doing it! I peeled, and when I was absolutely bare I was already so hot I could barely stand it.
“You’re really beautiful!” I heard Amy say. She’d slipped into the room and hadn’t even heard her! “Yes, you’re really something!”
“If that wasn’t something, standing there stark naked and both of them looking me over! I know, I’ve got a pretty good body and my breasts, especially, are good-they really’ stand out, you know, and when I get turned on they’re just as firm as can be-so I knew they weren’t putting me on, they really meant what they said.
“Go over to him,” Amy said to me. “Take his cock in your mouth. He likes to be sucked.”
“I knew that and I also knew that I liked going down on him. His cock was so big I could hardly get it in my mouth and I could never get more than halfway down on it, it’s so long, but I just love trying. She watched me eat him for a minute and then she said for me to get over him so he could lick my pussy too.
I turned around and did it. She moved so that she could see ‘my pussy and she really raved about it. I could see out of the corner of my eye that she was fingering her own twat while she was watching. She’s the sort who just loves rubbing the lips of her pussy together while she’s watching something really sexy.
“He sucked me off and it was just fine! I was so steamed up, of course, that I popped off nearly as soon as he touched me with his tongue. All it took was just a couple of little flicks up and down the slit and I was gone, just creaming like I’d never done it before. That was part of their plan, I later figured out: to make me have a real quick one so I’d get over being uptight while they were both on the bed with me. It worked. As soon, as I’d recovered a little from that come, I felt a lot more ‘at ease with them, and I didn’t feel so ashamed any more.
“There’s nothing like ‘a good climax to take away a person’s selfishness,” Amy told me. When you’ve come like that in front — of your friends, ‘there’s no reason to hold back anything any longer!”
“You’re right,” I had to admit. “You’ve seen me come, and that really breaks the ice, I guess.”
“She was still fingering herself, slow and easy, and I could see that she was really turned on by it all. Her fingers were dripping wet from the pussy drip she’d turned out and the lips- great, thick flaps of meat that looked like they’d really be sensitive-were just covered with that clear oil a womanproduces when she’s really up for screwing or something.
“Could I ask you something personal?” she said, getting up on her knees but still keeping that one hand in place. “I’ve never felt a cherry. Would you mind if I felt of yours? Please?” ‘If you want to,” I-said.
“He was still under me, of- course, and he opened me up with his hands, pulling the lips of my pussy apart and making it easier for her to run a finger into the mouth of my cunt. She felt around and, when she was satisfied,
